Silver lining anyone?
So, I have a tendency to see the positive aspects in a bad situation. Been like this my whole life. I usually find something to laugh about right away. Of course, this doesn't work for some... I told my youngest daughter that I might soon be saying farewell to my ta-ta and walking with a lean. She was not amused.
Anyhow, here is just a few of things in my silver lining. Maybe you have one too!
1. I have been a smoker off and on for 19 years and found difficulty getting rid of this horrible addiction. Knowing the effects of the nicotine coupled with chemo on my heart, lungs, etc., I quit cold turkey and haven' looked back. Today makes 8 weeks nicotine free. Yay me!
2. With my hair gone, I save 30 minutes a day primping and prepping my locks, not to mention, no hair to wipe off my bathroom counter and sink.
3. Saving money on hair products to include shampoo, conditioner, mousse, hair spray, heat protective spray, hair dye, and haircuts. Just recently, I decided I would put this additional money aside with my saved cigarette money that I will use to take my cancer free victory vacation.
4. No chin whiskers to pluck. Seriously didn't like those pesky hairs and haven't seen one in over a month.
5. And that business about Aunty Flow... haven't seen her in 2 months. Oh how I miss her intrusions... NOT.
6. In the end, if the docs decide I must lose my ta-tas, I will save an average of $45 each for my 36DD bras. I will never again be forced to search for that non-existing cozy bra.
7. And lastly, but certainly not the least, my dear hubby learned how to operate a vacuum cleaner and clean a toilet. I was seriously impressed. Not that it really mattered, I like taking care of my house without help, but it was great to see him pick up the pace and help me. 
Comments
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Based on your numbers -
1. Have never smoked.
2. Have never on a daily thing spent 1/2 hr doing my hair. Occasionally for special times yes - but not daily.
3. Shampoo and conditioners yes the rest no. During chemo I did buy some rather expensive products that were recommended for that time frame.
4. Never had chin hairs.
5. I went through natural menopause in 1990 - IBC in 2009.
6. Bras - was a lot cheaper before. One of my mast. bras is more than $45 not to forget the prosthesis.
7. My Hubby (of 38 yrs) has always been able to take care of the house and cook when he needed to. Our Sons were also brought up knowing that there is no "women's work and men's work".
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silver lining for me was meeting so many brave women on this forum.
I also find having no hair makes thing easier.
I got to know my neighbours better since they started bringing me food and offering to shop give rides etc.
My sister came across the country to help after surgery and i hadn't seen her in 9 years.
Started over with estranged sister and it is going well.
My spoiled daughter stepped up.
No bras ( although i do miss them as a place to,store things)
Joined an integrative health clinic and intend to learn yoga, meditation and good nutrition stuff
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Glad to hear that Kicks, but what is the silver lining in YOUR experience with cancer. Hope you had some good things come out of it.
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Wren, I agree, I don't think I have ever seen so many brave women in one place before. That is definitely a positive aspect. I really think it is wonderful that your neighbors came forward to help and how great to renew a relationship with your sister. That is just awesome! I have never tried yoga, but hear it really is good for body and soul which seems pretty important after the beating we take. And I had a good giggle reading about storing things in your bra. Hehehe
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Silver linings?
Flat tummy, although I suspect the blubber will continue to accumulate, but will appear in other places! Eeeek....
Met some wonderful people, & other friends have stepped forward in ways that I could not have imagined.
Traveling recently & not having to include shampoo or a hair dryer in the luggage - more space for chocolate!
I'm sure there are others but my chemo-brain can't think of them right now . . .
Oh yes, being able to use chemo-brain as an excuse every time I forget something
jajjaa - I think that's a brilliant idea to collect your cigarette & hair product $s & put them towards a "cancer-free victory vacation". So where are you thinking of going? Have you started planning it yet?
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Learned not to let the "little things" bother me so much.Grateful for every day and especially days when I get the results of mammograms & mri's and they are negative..
Realized how grateful I am to all the other bc survivors who have helped me through this rotten disease. That would include all of the surviors who visit this site. Also grateful to friends and family who have given me courage when I thought I couldn't be brave enough to get through treatment.
Learned that helping others who are diagnosed with bc is very rewarding...paying it forward feels so great.
Grateful to have gone on my dream trip, a Meditteranean cruise, which was a "chemo graduation" gift from my husband. So glad he has been my "rock" through everything connected to this disease.
These are just a few...many of the others that all of you have listed ring true for me, too.
Thanks for starting this thread, Jajjaai...so glad to list positive things in my life and not letting the negatives get in the way of being happy!
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LOL - this is exactly what I've been looking for
-- Saving so much time on hair care! It used to take forever to wash, style, dye, & cut my long locks year-round. (Can't say I've saved money bec. whatever I saved on hair care products, I've easily spent on the tons of hats & wigs & big earrings I've used to compensate, heh.)
-- Loved not shaving my legs & armpits & not getting my brows
& upper lip waxed (not as happy about losing my pubes, so this may
be a mixed blessing).-- Saved money on food during chemo bec. all I really ate was instant mashed potatoes or chocolate.
-- Saved tons on gas bec. I wasn't commuting to work during chemo.
-- Didn't have to clean the cat box for months, so hubby did it, yay.
-- Had time to finally watch 'Downton Abbey,' got hooked & watched all the episodes before the new series premiere this year.
-- Most important thing: I fully realized the breadth & depth of how wonderful my real-life & online communities are. Since diagnosis & all thru this, I've had amazing support from my family, friends, folks in my hobby groups, people I volunteer with, everyone I know online, & people who read my blogs. They've done everything from bring dinners to run fundraisers to send cards & gifts to give me rides to sending funny videos when I was down. Every little thing meant a lot to me, & I still haven't sent out all the thank-you notes they deserve back.
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JennieWren, That is a good one. Next time I forget or stumble on some word, I'm going to use 'chemo-brain' excuse too! And never thought about filling that empty space with chocolate, I'm all for that! LOL
As for my 'cancer free' vacation, it's a toss up... a few thoughts that have come to mind... a cruise to the Bahamas or Alaska, or... I know anything we do pick will be just perfect.
Linnyhopp, I love your take on this. Finding all the wonderful things in your life that make you grateful. Truly, there are so many things. I think sometimes we are so caught up in the ugliness of cancer that it makes it difficult to see anything else. It is especially easier with supportive family and friends.
Batcatlady, I'm getting the idea that chocolate is very important during this time. Thinking I should be stocking up! And I couldn't help but roll over laughing about your hair loss. When mine disappeared, I was just happy that no one else would know! LOL
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The chocolate thing is an enigma. Frequently I heard & read "avoid eating your favourite foods during chemo" as the icky mouth can turn you off your favourite food,.
Hmmmmm not when it comes to chocolate. I'm still able to force myself to eat it
Jajjaaj - I can see a large pile of cruise brochures making their way to your door as we type
. So many choices!Linnyhopp - when my b-in-law was in Afghanistan my sister would deal challenges with " at least I'm not being shot at". As you say, things that used to seem big are so little now. No matter what the problem, "at least it's not **** cancer"
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Love this thread! I also loved having smooth legs and no facial hair with no effort. Also chemo made my skin very, very smooth. I did sort of miss that when it went away. I just got my period back; hadn't had it for 22 months, since my first chemo treatment. Did not miss aunt Flo at all either! Had to buy tampons for the first time in ages!
Oh - and I considered chemo to be a free pass to buy all the make-up, hats, scarves and earrings that my heart desired.
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I got the breast reduction I always wanted and can wear clothes I never even dreamed of before my mastectomy. Went from a 34F down to a 34C (silicon implants) and LOVE, LOVE all the camis and button up the front shirts I can wear now.
The three flat warts in the middle of my forehead disappeared during chemo. Seem the drugs killed off the virus.
Not shaving my legs and underarms was great all summer, but I am loving every hair on my body now. I, too, was not thrilled with the "chemo-brazilian." Glad to have it all there....and the right color!
I do love the ease of getting ready in morning. My hair is Jamie Lee-Curtis length now and my natural red is trying to take over the dark gray that came in PFC. My hubby wants my hair to stay just the way it is now, so I think I will keep it. Never thought I was pretty enough to carry off short-short hair. According to him, I was wrong.
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JennieWren, there is no way chemo could ever turn me off from chocolate. LOL Of all the foods that have lost their taste, chocolate, thankfully, is not one of them.
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Christina,
22 months? Wow! That had to have been a nice little break. Hadn't even considered the cost of the new hats and bling to offset the hair loss, but somehow I don't really mind the new pretties. Hehehe
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Sebaroni,
Friends have asked me how I will feel about the possibility of losing one or both of my breasts. Honestly, my first thought was the idea of a breast reduction, and like you, more clothing options. Not sure how I will look with short hair when starts growing back in, but will like the comb and go factor.
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I forgot about the hairless arms and arm pits...loved it! My hairless chin was also a plus during chemo. Now I have to keep a tweezers in my purse because the hairs look much more visible in the rear view mirror when I drive. It's those little things that make us so happy! Have to say that I am more than willing to deal with these things than chemo.
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Loved not having to shave during chemo. And, since chemo put me into menopause, still love not having to shave (as often).
Love being in menopause. So don't miss Aunty Flo. Problem is, I have three Costco-sized boxes of super Tampax that I don't know what to do with other than toss at the neighbour's dog for the sheer fun of it.
Love (most of the time) that having cancer removed my mouth filter. I, now, say what I feel rather than pretend like mad that I don't feel it. Gets rid of a lot of angst/stress, but can get me into trouble, but... oh well.
Love the flawless complexion that I've ended up with given the fact that I am in menopause and no longer have monthly, hormonal breakouts.
Love the fact that the monthly hormonal migraines are gone.
Love the fact that, since treatment, my allergy to chocolate seems to have disappeared. Don't know why, don't care, pass the turtles.
Decided not to sweat the small stuff anymore. Life is too short to spend it worrying about something that may- or may not happen. JUST DO IT!
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SelenaWolf ~ Regarding the left over tampons...if you want to take the time, I bet a junior or high school would be able to use them in their Health Office. Just a thought, although tossing them at the dog could be really fun!
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Ohmigod, Selena, TURTLES!!! Being a diabetic, I will have to live vicariously through you. Please have another half-dozen of them for me and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. I can almost taste them from the distance.
I passed through menopause about a dozen years ago and sent my tampax inventory to the Goodwill store -- I waited about six or seven years before I parted with the boxes but finally convinced myself I had no real reason to store them anymore. So sad to have to part with 'childhood' things'.
Carol
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Yep, chocolate was sometimes the only thing that still tasted normal during chemo, so my hubby & friends brought me lots of fancy chocolates!
And next month, when I'm done with rads, we're going to DisneyLand as an end-of-cancer celebration
Oh, another good thing, I didn't have my usual insomnia during chemo. It's come back already & I kind of miss how I used to sleep 10-12 hours a night + nap every afternoon.
One good thing that some friends joke they're jealous of - it's easier to style my wigs than real hair.
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I love all everyone's 'silver lining' thoughts. Things I would like to add to my list after seeing other posts is my now soft skin, chocolate keeping its wonderful taste, and losing the age spots!
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Another silver lining today - had a bad hair day, plus it is super windy out. Fortunately I kept a couple favorite head scarves.
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Great thread!
My silver linings are
1. My husband and children showed me what a beloved wife and mother I am. I thought I was but this was so obvious...so in my face.
2. Losing my hair gives me a chance to have a really cool short pixie cut. Would have never had the guts for that before chemo.
3. Breast cancer has pushed the "retire" button. No longer am I a hard driving executive and I have stopped over functioning for under functioning people.
Love reading about your silver linings!
MsP
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Christina, Great idea! I just figured I would give away all my scarves when my hair came back, but I like your way of thinking! LOL
MsPharoah, I have have always been a bit afraid to go pixie, but like you, here is my chance. LOL
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Well, let's see .. like you jajjaaj, I quit smoking (it's been 43 days now) so I figure if BC doesn't kill me, it may have every well saved my life (not a bad silver lining at all). I always had straight hair and mine came back in curly - it's been over a year now & I go for my first post chemo haircut tomorrow (I kept thinking it was going to straighten out). Kind of nice to have that difference. I just had my exchange about a month ago & while the upper half is giving me some grief, my PS took a lot of fat off my thighs to add to my boobs. When my niece was three years old she told me that my 'butt flaps' jiggled more than her mama's did - well now my butt flaps barely jiggle at all and this is a good thing - much easier to buy pants that fit.
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Ziggypop, I really love your silver lining. I mean, if things have to be rearranged, might as well have a firm butt and new boobs. LOL
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The steroids I got during chemo cured the pain in my arthritic shouder for a whole year....!
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1. spending less time on hair, of course. But spending lots more on wigs than I did on hair products.
2. Spending much more time on makeup since my skin is a mess and I have to fill in somewhat in my eyebrows. Not looking forward to false eyelashes.
3. Happy there are no hairs on my chin.
4. A free Brazilian.
5. Steroids have temporarily gotten rid of my exema and the skin yeast I sometimes get under my boobs.
6. All the pre cancers under my skin are popping out and naturally drying up and falling off. Don't have to deal with dermatologist with a blowtorch.
7. I will be well when this is over! AND HAVE HAIR!
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I heard that doctors once used chemo to treat RA, but use alternate treatments now, but so great you could treat 2 ailments all at the same time!
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madeditor, I missed number 5 on my own list. I loved that my skin was clear and I didn't have that pesky yeast developing on my skin.
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Looking back, 5 years later, lots of silver linings:
- I learned a lot about eye makeup so much better at this now, than prior to diagnosis.
- FINALLY, I did something with my hair, and just love the way it looks these days. I no longer cut it myself.
- I lost a healthy amount of weight and have kept it off.
- Got connected with a nonprofit where I am doing my life's work.
- I did not wear head scarves. I love my scarf collection and rotate them out to accessorize my outfits. I am so glad not to associate scarves with chemo.
- Got to try a hairstyle with red streaks in it. Won't do it again (unless ones that clip in), but was fun to wear.
- Got lights for my bicycle and visible cycling gear. I cycled throughout treatment and didn't want to be in the orthopedic ward. I ended up with a wonderful jacket for the rain. Still use the helmet liner I bought to keep my head warm and wig in place.
- Much more grateful for every single day. I am not going to squander the time I was given. So lots of fun stuff, challenges, and dating a much younger and very fit guy.
- Extremely disciplined with exercise now, one reason I did not regain the weight. As the most important thing I can do for myself, and being relatively high risk, I make sure I get in those miles, lift those weights, do those crunches. Besides the obvious health benefits, younger and very fit guy thinks I look more than fine.
- Able to say "life really is good".
- Finally, living with more uncertainly, means that fewer things really get to me. Yes, I don't say nice things about those who cut me off with 2" to spare, but overall, I am a lot calmer than previously.
I celebrate my good fortune EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!! - Claire
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