How can I stay positive?

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I am 2 yrs & 9 months post diagnosis. A couple of weeks ago started experiencing severe tenderness in my diseased breast and redness around my areola.  Had a visit with my onc. She examined me and said it looked like cellulitis which is a bacterial infection. She did blood work as a precautionary measure and gave me antibiotics to take for the next 10 days. She also called in a script for mammo/ultrasound to have done after completing the antibiotics which should reduce the pain. The pain and redness went away and just when I finished taking the antibiotics, the pain came back as well as the redness. I called my onc yesterday on the same day I heard the news that a friend I used to work with lost her battle with Stage IV breast cancer. She participated in these boards and went by the user name runnr.  I'm now waiting to be scheduled for an MRI. Hopefully tomorrow. How do I stay positive when feeling "there by the grace go I". Rest in peace Claudia. You will forever inspire me. 

Thanks for listening. 

Comments

  • Lmflynn
    Lmflynn Member Posts: 373
    edited January 2014

    prgirl...just wanted you to know someone is listening ....I'm 3 years PFC ... And have anxiety over every pain, ache, etc... I try to stay positive and live in the moment but hard sometimes... Best to you... Warm hugs

  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited January 2014

    The best you can do is keep in touch with your doctors, as you are, and know that you will get the best treatment available.

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited January 2014

    Hi Prgirl.

    It's tough to stay positive.  I'm 6 1/2 years out from my diagnosis and there are days when I still worry quite a bit about it coming back.  I think it's probably normal to experience these fears.  I try not to let them overtake my day though.

    I was having a rough go of it this morning, not cancer related, but I just felt so lost and alone with things that are happening in my life right now.  I tried to get "positive" and focus on those who are less fortunate than I am.  That helped for awhile.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Bren

  • ziggypop
    ziggypop Member Posts: 1,071
    edited January 2014

    Hi prgirl - I think sometimes we place too much of a demand on ourselves to 'think positive' and then chastise ourselves when we can't hold to a standard that is too high for anyone. Like everybody we have times of sadness, anger, worry, etc. That's normal. Maybe we could make it easier on ourselves if we recognize that on some days we get to treat ourselves extra specially. We get to start the day with a chocolate & watch a stupid movie that we know is really a waste of time but we want to watch anyway. We get to go shopping and buy that thing that really out of our price range but is going to make us feel a little better for a while. Just to get through the down times, the worry times. We have a lot on our plates; it's okay for us to realize that and cut ourselves a break. 

    Many, many hugs  

  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 2,785
    edited January 2014

    prgirl, I'm so sorry about your friend.  You're entitled to be scared and grieving for her. 

    That said, cellulitis is a tough nut to kick.  It seems likely that the antibiotics didn't kick it well enough and it simply came back.  My Mom took antibiotics for months to get rid of a cellulitis on/in her breast.  (She had an implant and eventually lost it).

    The MRI should help you know for sure.  I hope it turns out OK.

  • prgirl2
    prgirl2 Member Posts: 6
    edited January 2014

    thanks everyone. I really needed validation to feel this way. Hugs!!

  • Karen3
    Karen3 Member Posts: 307
    edited January 2014

    Hi prgirl2,

    I just wanted to chime in and tell you that I know how you feel. I am waiting for an MRI and my dear friend and colleague passed away from a brain tumour in December. She was only 28. I visited her in the hospice as much as I could. Her funeral was 23rd December. I thought many a time like you "there for the grace of God". All I can say is that it's a hard road that we all travel. Every ache, pain etc will drive us mad if we let it. The chances are that whatever the problem is (for both of us) is most likely B9 and we must keep reminding ourselves of that fact until we know different. You are doing the right thing in getting your new symptoms checked out, however. Wishing you B9 results! Karen xx

  • prgirl2
    prgirl2 Member Posts: 6
    edited January 2014

    update:  just learned my insurance, Cigna, denied my MRI. They want me to get mammo/us before they re-review my request. I don't know how I'm going to tolerate the mammo when my breast is so tender.  Feeling irritated!

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