How much to tell my 8-year-old?

Katie, I would not tell him much until you know exactly what you're dealing with. Do the kids have grandparents or aunts and uncles who can be supports for them (and you)?

Hi Katie. So sorry you are here, but welcome. My son was 8 when I was diagnosed 3 years ago. I did not use the cancer word. The first thing I told him was "I'm not going to die" which relieved him immensely. I told him I had some bad cells in my body (and pointed to my breast) then asked him if he knew what I was pointing to and he blushed and said "your boob". I told him the doctor was going to take it off and make me a new one. I then told him I was going to have to take some really nasty medicine for a couple months and my hair was going to fall out. His mouth fell open at that, then he asked if I was going to get a pink wig like Britney Spears! We both made it through the conversation without tears. He did ask me after my hair fell out if I would please always wear a hat or something and my wig when I left the house. I think he thought I would look sick and he couldn't handle that. Both my kids (daughter was 5 at the time) were great during the whole ordeal.

Tiffany

I always made sure the door was open for questions.  It was so important to my kids.  After each major doctor appointment, I would explain in very simple terms what it meant.  Then I would ask if they had any questions, anything at all they were free to ask, and reminded them that they could ask anything at any time.  Be on the look out for misconceptions they may have.  (My father was diagnosed with cancer 6 months or so after me.  After he got out of the hospital for a blood clot, my daughter began telling every one that he did not have cancer.  I came to find out that since I left the hospital with my cancer "gone", she assumed this was how it was for everyone when they left the hospital.)

Hi Katie, My son was 9 when I was diagnosed and I was very very open with him throughout. I would however wait to see what treatment you will need before you discuss things in detail but do be positive about how you explain it as Pawprint is right - they will mimic your reaction.

My whole family and I have a very wierd sense of humour and we joked about my illness, my family basically tease me about playing the 'cancer card' and the joking about the whole thing helped me through all of the treatment. I know you must be going through a terrible time at the moment wondering what the future holds, and believe me, there may be some bad days, however always try to take just one day at a time - breaking down each day means it is no worse than having a bad chinese or bad cold etc. and you will get through it.

Regarding telling my son, I did not promise I would not die but told him I had some very bad cells and needed some strong medicine and an operation to remove it but I would fight it every step of the way. I related everything to weeds in the garden and explained that the op was to removed the weed but I needed chemo 'weed killer' to ensure any spores also got killed off and to stop it coming back. I also explained that I might get some bad days where mummy wouldn't feel too good to read him a story but he can always come and read me a story instead. I also went bald and proud of it - but got him to cut my hair off when it started falling out - he had a great time playing 'hairdresser'. I told him everytime I had to have treatment, what it meant and how long it would take and he was great throughout all of it. Its amazing how resilient kids are.

Wishing you all the best.