Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

hi.....while im reading....where is everyones port located? mine is an inch below my clavical bone under my bra strap. some of yall say your arm. i would think that would be worse. my PICC was 9mo in my arm....hated that. ended up getting pigtail pulled twice and needed new one. of course PICC and port are different. my port doesnt even hurt anymore.placed day one of chemo. I have access line all the time for meds and fluids.change weekly. just curious. ellen glad youre home! what a pain....at least ur port staid! gayle in my prayers.

imma reading! took my PROVIGIL....A MIRACLE energy pill avail by rx!!!!!!!! starting to kick in! now i can do some reading!!!!!

Hello Everyone!

I'm sitting here counting all the blessings that I have been able to behold over the past year! Yes...this has been another difficult year of facing another physical hurdle but all it all...it could be MUCH WORSE! It is because I AM STILL HERE! If it would have been our time...we would not even be given the opportunity to overcome this present challenge! 

At times it feels as if we are the ONLY person on the face of the earth that is enduring whatever difficulty that we are facing. BC sucks....but there are so many other things which at times have no treatment or support.  I am so thankful we have the ability in this day to connect through the internet and see how far from reality our thought processes can take us! All it takes is a few swipes on the computer and somehow...miraculously we are connected with people all around the world! This is such a marvoulous development to give us all hope and strength!

EVERY ONE  in the world goes through various trials and tribulations of life. There is NO ONE unscathed. Sometimes we look at what we THINK is going on in side anothers house and assume they have achieved perfection. This is so far from the truth. Some people have developed a shell where they are afraid to reveal themselves. I am thankful that we can be honest with each other...the GOOD, the BAD and the downright UGLY stuff. Some of the things we share we cannot even speak to those closest to us. 

We must remember just because we don't reveal our true selves to others does not make us lacking. If anything we are more true to who we are! What we learn during this journey will help us achieve even greater heights during future difficulties! Do not hold on to the lie that somehow we must have faltered and done something wrong to bring this hardship upon ourselves. This is so far from the reality of life! Life gives us times and situations to bring change and strengthen us THROUGH the difficulties! Then in return we can help bring a light of hope to others!

Each of us has our own trial and difficulties. We can follow a certain chain of events yet sometimes we find ourselves trapped inside our minds with as I shared the "what if's, shoulda, coulda, woulda, what ifs and whys." If we allow this mindset to overpower us...it only brings depression, dejection, degradation and death!

During this holiday time....more than ever we MUST try to keep our mind focused upon the positives of life! We are ALIVE! We are alive during a time when they can treat and heal us of this nasty disease process! Even ten years ago...they DID NOT have the ability to treat the condition AND  additionally treat the side effects as they do today! When my grandmother died of BC....she had less than I did! The treatment was horrid and still perished. Now...with proper treatment we all can look forward to many more years with our friends and families!!!

Remember that our minds can be our WORST enemy! Don't allow the negative thoughts to overpower any moment of the miracle of your life! For those with families...they desire to have you around for a LONG TIME! Our friends really mean the best for us and DO NOT JUDGE us for being "naked headed"! 

I can honestly saw...I have found a whole new person under the "chrome dome"!!! I am amazed at who I see beyond my hair! There is such a freedom in being able to jump in the shower, washing and yes sometimes shaving my scragglies off! Then when I get out it is a BREEZE to get ready to go! I put my makeup bag in the car and GOOOOO!!!!! I have found I can do some pretty FUN things with my makeup and WHO REALLY CARES!!!!!

I'm gonna put some temp tattoos on my head and have even more  fun! I LOVE all the GLITTERY and SHINEY lotions, creams and sprays we have available this time of year at BATH and BODY WORKS! They even have them on clearance now! I have gained a confidence I have never had before! I was the one who grew up soooooooooooo shy that I could not even ask for catsup or the bathroom without running for the corner!

Look in the mirror and see the BEAUTIFUL PERSON who is INSIDE YOU! KNOW that you have a future and the person you are TODAY is only a glimmer of the SHINNING person that can come out in a short time to come! You are a BUTTERFLY!!!!! This is only a cocoon!!! In the past many of our Dx would have been a death sentence. Now...we can look forward to a full and productive life! ALL BREAKING OUT INTO THE MOST MAGNIFICENT COLORS of a NEW BUTTERFLY!

Many of us have children where we spent at a minimum 9 months going through all manner of difficulties preparing to birth them. Then came they years and years of raising these WONDERFUL creatures! For some there are now grandbabies and great-grandbabies who are looking forward to our future! Look in the mirror and see the BEAUTY of YOUR FUTURE!!!! It is hopeful all manner of glitter and grace!

These SE are ONLY for a short time and just like enduring the SE of pregnancies and other difficulties of life...are only for a season! When we break through in the spring we will sprout like beautiful flowers with all kinds of wisdom to share with others as we overcome all the present difficulties!

It seems the snow and rains of this winter are a hallmark. Showing us that in the spring life will be so much different! Stay in the NOW! Don't focus on the negative and dream of the FLOWERS and BLOOMS to come!

Love

T're!!!

Pray my 15 year old lap top holds out for hubby and I till we get a new one! We  lost our motherboard last week on our new one....(3-4 years old) This dinosaur is HANGING in there! Otherwise I have to revert to my wackazoid phone and tablet....argggghhh!!!!! 

Ok....here goes...reading back more! 

SMRLVR...number 4...yahoo...one more down! You will be in my prayers tomorrow! Im MO said the third is one of the worst. Your counts will drop more than the prior ones so dont be too concerned. Make sure they SLOW IT DOWN! And FLUIDS...are the key!

This past one for me...number 3 was much better than number 2. The NN gave the second dose in less than 2 hours...including premeds! I was sick as a DOG for the second infusion. This third one...was GREAT! I was surprised how long it took for any SE to hit! I had my INF on Monday Dec 23rd. Expected by neulasta on the 24 to floor me. I was able to make it to our family christmas get together with NO PROBLEMS! No Headaches or pain to speak of! We did an ULTRA hydrate IV on the 23 and 24 then took the IV toradol on the 25/26/27....The only SE I had was on the 27 I began the tummy pains from the gastroperesis (unable to poop...sorry) 

I'm glad I saved my last toradol till the the night of of 27th because I would have been in the ER. Tummy pain sooooo bad....because couldnt go. OUCH! I was a little puddle on the floor crying for my hubby to administer it at 2am. I couldnt move. Yesterday I was down for the count as was most of today. 

Now I am up and having minimal SE except for my NAILS....they HURT! actually a combo between hurting and numbness! REALLY ODD....think Im gonna loose my nails though....

BigT....this is actually little T.....Dont get grustrated...do what you can!!!!!

Wrenn....Sorry for ur pms....

I think for the most part the weight is fluids and steroids. The steroids make you RADICALLY HUNGRY for a short time! FAMISHED! Most of those effects will go when we are off the meds!

The Hot/cold....menopause stuff....yes is also due to the autoregulation of our systems. I have had that for years from the autoimmune pbms.With me like since my 20's....so does my daughter....autoimmune...autonomic regulation....it happened for me  WAY before menopause. It causes our systems to have a problem regulating temperature. Hence my VERY LOW    96 -97 norm. When I get to 99 I AM SICK! My doc said to really watch it if your normal is low....100 is too high!  I have consistantly been a bit high weeek two...which I am now. Nadir starts tomorrow....boohiss!!!

She actually wants me to go in at 99 but I choose to wait and see ...if it goes 99.5 plus and stays...THEN I will go in! Last two cycles it dropped after a week....99.7 is the most I went to. And was really sick then....

Like the past two days I have been sleeping ALOT!  Took my provigil today and am trying to at least catch up with yall! I did WAY too much the past few days prior! 

Audra...you are right behind me....just drink....drink....and try to walk some! Helps the tummy and pains. 

Yall dont know this about me but I have walked with crutches for the past 7 years....but because of the BC surg and PORT...I have had to try to walk W/O assistance. To painful. ...If I can do it YALL CANB!!! I just go....REAL SLOW!!!!!

Pat...I still love your picture! Keep it up.....up and down...up and down!!!!! That is the only way!

Big T love Mushu!!!!!!!! cutie!

I will send this in parts as I read so not to overwhelm yall! Still reading!!

T're!

Ok....here goes...reading back more! 

SMRLVR...number 4...yahoo...one more down! You will be in my prayers tomorrow! Im MO said the third is one of the worst. Your counts will drop more than the prior ones so dont be too concerned. Make sure they SLOW IT DOWN! And FLUIDS...are the key!

This past one for me...number 3 was much better than number 2. The NN gave the second dose in less than 2 hours...including premeds! I was sick as a DOG for the second infusion. This third one...was GREAT! I was surprised how long it took for any SE to hit! I had my INF on Monday Dec 23rd. Expected by neulasta on the 24 to floor me. I was able to make it to our family christmas get together with NO PROBLEMS! No Headaches or pain to speak of! We did an ULTRA hydrate IV on the 23 and 24 then took the IV toradol on the 25/26/27....The only SE I had was on the 27 I began the tummy pains from the gastroperesis (unable to poop...sorry) 

I'm glad I saved my last toradol till the the night of of 27th because I would have been in the ER. Tummy pain sooooo bad....because couldnt go. OUCH! I was a little puddle on the floor crying for my hubby to administer it at 2am. I couldnt move. Yesterday I was down for the count as was most of today. 

Now I am up and having minimal SE except for my NAILS....they HURT! actually a combo between hurting and numbness! REALLY ODD....think Im gonna loose my nails though....

BigT....this is actually little T.....Dont get grustrated...do what you can!!!!!

Wrenn....Sorry for ur pms....

I think for the most part the weight is fluids and steroids. The steroids make you RADICALLY HUNGRY for a short time! FAMISHED! Most of those effects will go when we are off the meds!

The Hold cold....menopause stuff....yes is also due to the autoregulation of our systems. I have had that for years from the autoimmune pbms. WAY before menopause. It causes our systems to have a problem regulating temperature. Hence my VERY LOW    96 -97 norm. When I get to 99 I AM SICK! My doc said to really watch it if your normal is low....100 is too high!  I have consistantly been a bit high weeek two...which I am now. Nadir starts tomorrow....boohiss!!!

She actually wants me to go in at 99 but I choose to wait and see ...if it goes 99.5 plus and stays...THEN I will go in! Last two cycles it dropped after a week....99.7 is the most I went to. And was really sick then....

Like the past two days I have been sleeping ALOT!  Took my provigil today and am trying to at least catch up with yall! I did WAY too much the past few days prior! 

Audra...you are right behind me....just drink....drink....and try to walk some! Helps the tummy and pains. 

Yall dont know this about me but I have walked with crutches for the past 7 years....but because of the BC surg and PORT...I have had to try to walk W/O assistance. To painful. ...If I can do it YALL CANB!!! I just go....REAL SLOW!!!!!

Pat...I still love your picture! Keep it up.....up and down...up and down!!!!! That is the only way!

Big T love Mushu!!!!!!!! cutie!

I will send this in parts as I read so not to overwhelm yall! Still reading!!

T're!

funny how I get to make yall laugh when u r inthe dead zone!!!! feel like im talking to myself! except I KNOW where u r! w/o a jolt from provincial I'd be still down.rounding a bit of energy just to catch up w yall......so many thoughts about family and YOU LOOK SOOOO GOOD!!! HISS.....HOPE EVERYONE IS HOME FROM HOSP.....trying to avoid like the plague if I can! nadir starts now......boo......?pbmpbmpbpbp nailnailnainainanan elseelseelselselele anyoneanyoneanyonanyonanyoanyoanyanantana

hiss phone....anyone else nail symptoms?  gotta shower.....I STINK!!!!! check out bath body works glitter spray 1/2 off!!!!

btw...this was from Burlington......my Cleo look! but generally I go CHROME  with glitter and shine!!!! what a freedom!!!also hurry for Marie calendar......my hubby eats anything! ESPECIALLY when all he can do is Micro himself a dinner......yay for good frozen foods!!!

For the first time in many years I had a headache today that got bad enough to make me throw up. I used to get a lot of migraines, so I don't know if it was that or a delayed SE, but whatever it was it can just stay away.

Paulette, my port is about 2 inches below my clavicle, and roughly 4 inches from my armpit. Maybe the location is why we aren't having as much pain as some of our ladies. There's jut a minor prick when they access it, even the day after they had to fix the flip it wasn't painful to access.

Amazon, I would call that hot flashed. They aren't all 'rip your clothes off and run out in to the cold' bad. Sometimes they are just a very quick, hot flush that leaves as quick as it comes. Your scar probably just tightened up from inactivity. Some light exercise when you can should get you back to where you were.

Ellen, yeah on your last treatment and good wishes for 2014. However, I have learned that the fates will quickly knock us back down if we tempt them too much. Every time I think that things can't get worse, they do, so let's just sincerely HOPE that 2014 is a great year.

Smrlver, Sorry you are having that pain in your ribs. Do you wonder if we'll ever get back to a time when an ache or pain doesn't automatically make us think of the worse possible scenario?

Oh, I go to my LGFB class tomorrow. Do they actually help you put on makeup? Should I go without any is my question?

crazy phone.....even if its a iiiiikkkkkkkkkkkllll!!!!!!. im gonna shower before hubby comes close! hoping my tree makes it thru new years......only lights and no decks!!!!.....I guess less to put away!!!! its actually funny! at least it blinks!!!!!

wally: I love the pics!

Here is my new look. You gotta have fun anyway you can!

Wally: I love the pics!

Ellen: I hope too that 2014 will be a better one! You have gone through a lot! Perhaps after treatments and  with the warmer weather we will all feel much better.

This is my new look..  Got to have fun!

"Crash day" for me to today; that third day after chemo when the steroids have run out but the chemo is kicking. My head's in a fog, and my body thinks that getting up to do the smallest thing is Too Much Like Work. So mostly I've slept. I'm so very glad that this is the 3rd of my 4 AC treatments; I'm soooo ready to be done with all this. My husband said a little while ago that it's kind of like a prison sentence, and he's right, I guess, I just didn't commit a crime, lol.

I'll be glad when we are ALL done with this!

tired of the stubble so I got my hair buzzed as close as they could get.  Enjoyed a fun day out with my DD before my trip to the BGC tomorrow.  Including trying on scarves at Target.  I like my wig but don't seem to want to wear it. Preferring bald but needed another head covering option since its cold outside.  Had a great opportunity to talk with the hairdresser and tell her that chemo isn't the horror story it was years ago.  I'm so grateful to be doing this in 2013 instead of 20-30 years ago.  Go luck to my chair buddies this week and all of you splendid women. May your good days be many and SE minimal!