RE: HMO.. just came into my mail box

Hi Gals;
thought this was funny
my pal from CA.. sent it to me

When I lived in US, don't remember anything about HMO
I went to Kaiser and also had a physician, not with Kaiser
mind you that was years ago..

Questions and Answers regarding HMO's

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its
roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges,
who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the
pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the
doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your
insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in
the plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories --
those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who
will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But
don't worry; the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and
accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away
and has a diploma from a Third World Country.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification
A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the
name brand. I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a
stomach ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he
can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform
a heart transplant right in his office?
A. There's no harm in giving him/her a shot at it.

Hope this helps.


Best to all )