September 2013 Chemo Group

Floating....that's a great way to describe how I feel a lot of the time.  The last 4 months have been the first time since college that I haven't worked, and when I feel good, I'm bored.  I try to make one "task" to do each day to force me to fix myself up a little and leave the house.  But no matter how many people you have around you, no one can understand this journey - except for us here. 

KJ- enjoy your Christmas present, you deserve it!

Luckily, with my Friday chemo, I had a good weekend with SE not hitting until last night.  I had my graduation ceremony Saturday and my 18 year old surprised me by being there - I didn't think he'd be home from hockey until Sunday.  It was a lovely day.  I've been debating whether to share the link from the article the local paper did, but I figure between the hockey stuff I've posted, if someone really wanted to figure out who I am, they already could, so here it is. I know an equally impressive article could be written about every one of the amazing women here - we are all WARRIORS and just living our lives to keep moving forward through this challenge.  SD Senator Tim Johnson was the commencement speaker (he had a stroke awhile ago and is impaired) and he said "It's not what life gives you, it's what you do with it." 

http://rapidcityjournal.com/news/local/mother-of-four-battling-cancer-will-be-first-to-graduate/article_502c8b73-da7a-59b8-a509-bd8611b1d533.html

knight zoo - awesome awesome!  What a good uplifting article. And congrats! What an accomplishment. We are all truly amazing. 

Alfranco:  (((((HUGS)))))  Just wanted to give you a hug.  Last week, I was feeling the same way...Just so very sad.  Not only fighting all we have to with all of the things that make us so ill, but the hormonal upheavals that accompany it make it so hard to cope some days.  I hope today is a better day.  Yesterday I was talking to a friend who is in med school, who came back to visit while on break.  In conversation, he said how they always are looking for ways to improve the program.  I suggested that anyone going into oncology should be paired with someone throughout chemo, and have to check in with them every day, or several times per day, and meet with them frequently (something patients would have to volunteer for)...not to give medical advice...but to truly understand what patients go through...not only physically, but mentally; I said that I do not think people truly appreciate the day to day struggles unless they or someone in their family has gone through it.  He is actually going to put it in writing as a formal suggestion because he thought it was the best idea he'd heard in a long time (and he has some chronic health problems and understands a bit better than most).  Most people have no idea the mental toll this takes.  Alfranco, You are plugging away and fighting every day.  You are a warrior.  You are doing it and you are strong.  Just because you do not feel strong every moment of every day does not mean you are not strong.  You are.  One foot in front of the other each day, my friend.

Knightzoo, that was an awesome article; I really enjoyed reading it.  Thanks for sharing.  And...congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What an awesome accomplishment.  My husband has his PhD in Industrial Engineering and is a professor, so I know how much work it takes to get where you are.  I am in awe!!!!!  Way to go!  I hope your side effects ease up.

I know I vented about not being able to work last week...about how much I missed it.  I was called in this weekend, and ended up working 36 hours.  It was my first shift(s) back since the night before my BMX in August, and it felt so good to get back into the swing of things, feel "normal" for a change, and not have cancer on my mind all the time.  This morning I met with the plastic surgeon.  Last time he said it was my last fill, but apparently he changed his mind and decided to do one more so he had plenty of room to work.  Eeeek!  I told him it was fine as long as I don't end up being this big.  I was an A, barely B before, and these TEs would probably easily bust out of a C...feeling like I am going to burst. My exchange surgery is scheduled for January 23.  Now to kick this cold, get completely healthy, and get on with one more phase of this journey.

Knightzoo!   Whoo  Hoo!!!  Congratulations.  Thank you so much for sharing that.

LighthouseLady,

You might try unplugging your dryer for 24 hours.  They often have a safety feature that causes them to turn off when overheated and they will reset themselves after being unplugged for awhile.  Just a thought.  :-)

Way to Go, Lociti! 

Congratulations Lociti!  I love the pictures too!

Congrats lociti.

Thank you all for all your comments. It does help to write it down or talk to someone who understands.  Big hugs to all of you.

Love all the pictures. You ladies are gorgeous.  Great article Knightzoo. Such a great accomplishment. Plus, thanks for posting all your Chemo updates (and thank simplelife and art too).  I'm three days behind you and it is reassuring to see what to expect next. I had AC number two yesterday and am holding strong. Seems better so far than round one, but who knows what the rest of the week will hold -- especially after today's neulasta shot. Good news is the insurance company approved self-injection so no trip to the hospital for me on Christmas Eve. Small blessings.

 I finally have a surgery date now. Happy Valentine's Day to me. I will have the SLNB a few days earlier on Feb. 10. Even though I am triple negative they say no radiation for me if the biopsy is negative and I opt for a mastectomy, which is my current plan. I have seen some studies recommending rads for TNs even where there is no node involvement and the patient opts for mastectomy, but it is not standard of care at my hospital.

Wishing you all a great week of positive feelings, no pain and lots of time with loved ones. 

Betterday, our treatment plans seem identical, except I don't know what kind of surgery I'm having.  I'll have my BRCA results in a week and that will be a big deciding factor.  I never shaved my head during the 12 taxol treatments and my hair just got really thin.  I've had 2 AC infusions, the last one was a week ago.  The minute I started getting AC, my hair started falling out much faster.  I still haven't shaved it, but I'm so close.  I think most people would have shaved it by now.  My husband and I had a big discussion about it this morning.  I feel like my hair looks terrible, but when I think of shaving it, I feel like this.....(picture taken this morning).

Here's how much hair I have left from the side views.... My husband says "it doesn't look that bad"

I dislike the color (or lack thereof) as much as anything.    I'm going to go back to coloring my hair medium brown once it grows back in.  My husband is just curious how much hair I will have left at the end of treatment if I do nothing.  I'm a little aggravated because it's my head (not his) that this "experiment" is happening to.  This has aged me in appearance by a good 15 years since July.  I can't really lay all the blame on my husband for me not having shaved it sooner.  My biggest fear is that it will look even worse after I shave it than it does right now.

It occurred to me later this morning that I'm fretting over what little hair I have left because I don't want to think of the bigger issues, such as I can still feel my tumor (albiet it's much smaller) and I need to decide if I'm going with a lumpectomy, MX, or BMX.  Those are much more important issues.

That's not really a direct answer to your question, but I can only say that I've lost  about half the hair that I had remaining from the Taxol treatments since I started AC.  I know I will want to shave what's left off at some point to start with a level playing field for the new growth.  I just haven't taken the leap. 

I feel like a little kid standing at the end of a high diving board, afraid to jump...the longer I stand there, the bigger the jump seems.

simplelife, time to shave, my hair started really falling out after  ac #2 so to avoid messy hair  falling everywhere, i buzzed it. I actually like it bald, bought a beautiful wig hardly wore it, it itches. Lol. Lots of toques, scarves etc.

Betterday, love the family pic, i did 4 AC and am on my #4 taxol on thursday, i have 8 more to go they are weekly, so far SE are mild, still tired and still recovering from AC#4 it really kocked me down, red count low and extremely tired. Actually AC 3 and 4 were the worst so listen to your body, hydrate and res

Lociti. Bravo sooooooo happy for you

Merry xmas everyone and our mission for 2014 well kick cancers ass and take back our lives.

Amen to what Kbeee said - and I love the "health, happiness and hair to all" comment.  

Haven't had a lot to post lately.  Just been trying to keep on top of the Christmas craziness.  My brother got here last night from Vegas, been doing lots of cooking/baking, some shopping, etc.  Went to church this afternoon and then the cemetery for Hubby's mom, today was her birthday.  So bittersweet.... Ironically his brother was killed in a motorcycle accident 7 years ago on Jan 7, and Hubby and I met on Jan 7, 2000.  <sigh>  Makes it hard to "celebrate" these special days, especially for him.

Ok, that was really a downer.  LOL   Didn't mean to go there.  I think I'm just tired.  Doing everything I've always done to get the family ready for Christmas and I am nowhere near 100%.  I get so fatigued so easily.  My kids have been watching tv and playing their phones way too much, but I don't have the energy to enforce it and/or distract them. I'm ready for Santa to come and have some new things to occupy them for a while.  

I am so thankful that all of you have become a part of my life.  I know we all hate being here, but I think being here with each other makes it a little less awful.  You are all strong, beautiful women that I'm proud to call friends, and I wish all of us good health, strength and peace in the new year.  

Merry Christmas to  all. I am also thankful to have met you all. Thanks for always being there when  I need you.

what a fabulous xmas.  happy new year.  stage iv still here and fighting,  chemo on 12/23 few ses today

Pos/neg----good to hear from you.  Keep fighting!  I hope your mets are shrinking.

Vintagegirl, your wig looks great!