For those starting TAC in March/April 2006....

Thanks Marcia!

Lost your eyebrows after tac 6 huh? I was hoping to hold on to my last little bit that I have. Oh well...It will be a short time if they should all go. I do have notciable lines on my fingernails and my big toe nail on my right foot turned black and it appears that I am going to lose it. Really is a little freaky since I have never lost a toe nail...but hey, it's a small price to pay.

Thanks for the radiation update. 12 of 33 is good so far. Sounds like it is going quickly. It's my understanding that I get to have tatoos instead of the marker. I was hoping for the marker.

You are right, I need a couple weeks until I celebrate. I want to so badly but realize i'm only day 3 post 6 and feeling sick. Wednesday is my birthday...this is the best birthday present I could ever ask for...being done with the chemo.

Jeanette...only one week away from the big celebration! Wahoo! Let us know how that goes.

Have a great day all.

Molly

Mindy, Congratulations to you. You did it. Unfortunately you had it much harder than a lot of us did. But you can be so proud of yourself for finishing and giving yourself the best chance at beating cancer. It is so good to have another TAC member finished.
As I told Molly, I kept losing eyebrows even two weeks following my 6th TAC. But now I have baby eyebrow hairs croping up. My hair was really fine coming through but now six weeks out it is coming in dark and fuller at about a half inch long. The end of it is soft and fine and it is getting thicker at the roots.
Mindy are you gonna get radiation soon?
I noticed some of the TAC posters have moved on to other threads..kinda like graduating I guess. It is hard not to want to forget all we have been through. But it has changed our lives and the people we have come in contact with. Hopefully making us stronger and giving us a lesson about life and living.
Everyone take care and hope we are all feelin stronger every day.
Hugs
Marcia

Marcia, I go to the radiation doctor on Aug 2nd. I will find out then when I will start. I will let you know.

Leigh, Thanks for the words of encouragement. Your vacation sounds wonderful. My husband and I are going on a mini getaway this coming weekend. It is our 17th anniversary on Saturday.
Take care,
Mindy
Take Care, Mindy

Mindy - I just talked to my pcp about my stomach. She too feels that the sore tummy and the acid reflux is still a side effect of the chemo even after 3 1/2 weeks. These two things really bothered me for about 12 days after the final chemo, then started to get better for a few days (nausea lasted for one week). Since then it has been intermittent. Yesterday I was miserable with the reflux and being the not patient person that I am I thougth I would call her. I figured if I need an endoscopy, I wanted it done before I am back to work on 8/14. Of course, I rather not have it done if I don't need to. My pcp says the chemo is still in me and I need to give it more time. I have been on 40mg Nexium since April. She wants me to double it to 80mg (take one in am and one in pm) for two weeks then go back to once daily and call her in 3 weeks. She also told me to stay away from caffeine, artificial sweeteners, tomato sauce, mexican foods, citrus, peppermint and alcohol. I gave up caffeine at the last chemo when the onc suggested it and caffeine free diet soda last week (I only drank one can a day) as it was ripping my stomach apart. That is the only consistent trigger I can find. Yesterday a roll for breakfast hurt my stomach! Most of the other foods have not been apart of my diet in recent months. I did have a glass of wine the other day though - first time since surgery in March and I have to say I enjoyed it!!! Prior to BC and chemo, I did not have stomach problems so this is all new to me. But I am done chemo!!!! 3 rads done and 22 to go! I started on Arimidex last week and after sitting for a while, when I get up, my knees are sore and stiff for the first minute or two. I so much feel like an old lady with all this and I am only 50!!! Hope your stomach gets better soon as well. Keep in touch.

Karen, Hope the extra nexium wil help.
Marcia and Peejay, How have you been feeling since you have started radiation. I go to the rad doc on Wed and the nurse said that I would probably start rads in a week. My job called me back to work.(go back Aug 21st) I was wondering how tired it makes you. I work in a hot factory making automobiles and it is very physical and fast paced. I need to go back financially, but I worry that I will not be able to keep up the pace! Any input?
Brigitte, I know how you feel about sleep being messed up. I don't go to bed until 2:00 or so and I take 2 ambien. Then about 2-3 hrs later, I am up and not able to go back to sleep.
Hope everyone is doing ok.


Mindy

Hey sisters!

I had the weird sleep pattern throughout TAC. But I dont' work so I was able to grab a nap here and there during the day, so I didn't worry about it too much. I got almost back to normal with sleep, and then this heatwave hit us, so now the only time I can get things done is at night!

Hope your guys stomach settle down soon. That was one thing I never had a problem with. I was more into the hiccups and burps (oh my!)

I'm about a month out from my last one, and feeling stronger every day. (except for the weather, I'm really sensitive to that right now) It's sooo nice to be able to go out, and know that I'm not going to get all of a sudden tired. My hair is causing me some anxiety though. It's still really fuzzy, and short short short. I mean I still look bald from a distance. Of course my hair is super light blonde coming in, so you have to be close to see it. My husband and daughter keep reassuring me that it is coming in, but, well you know.. I worry that it will stop growing, or just be this way forever. Yes, that's right, I have no patience LOL.

Radiation... I go in, get zapped, don't feel a thing, and go home. LOL It's so anti-climactic. Have had 6 zaps so far, and my skin still looks the same. They prescribed me a gel called RadiaPlex, and I've been using it 3x a day since the first zap. It's nice and cooool. I drive 20 minutes each way to the center, and I'm in the place for maybe 10 minutes. LOL I can't believe 1 week is over already. I haven't felt any fatigue from it. Heck after TAC I feel like superwoman. Maybe you can work your way up slowly to a full day, just to get back into it? Marcia is a week ahead of me in rads, so hopefully she can tell you more about fatigue.

hang in there gals! It's tough, but we are tougher, and we have each other!

Paula

Well today was #6, so I am offically joining the TAC grads - we shall have to have an alumni club that any one can joinoas they get to the finish line.
Am exhausted - but being up most of the noite taking care of the DH (he had an insulin reaction - is a biabetic) and then I couldnt slee. so whoi knows how much the fatigue is a combo.
So, weather being good, we are splitting for where the prairie meets the mountain tomorrow. Monday id a holiday so I plan to return on Tuesday. The rest will probably put me in better shape - not thin to do but reat, eat, sleeep and tube down the river.
Anyone have a head count of the alumni?
Paula, Marcia, Molly, Karen in Denver, Karen In Raleigh, Mindy.....

I'm heading into number 5 tomorrow. Who is still in the midst of this with me? Congratulations, alums, and please, please, please keep posting so we know there is light ahead! I find that my depression and feeling like this will never end is really dragging me down every day mentally. It is so hard to think positive, like my family keeps telling me to do...
Thank you for your strength and hope! Brigitte

Brigette and others,

I had major anxiety problems surrounding chemo. I cried every night mostly over my hair. I cried two days before a treatment, from the moment I woke up on treatment day and during chemo until the ativan kicked in. Was I depressed? Yes, I was. I think something would have to be wrong with you not to be depressed. But it really was situational. As soon as chemo was over and I felt a little better, it was gone. This is just my opinion but I think it is better to let it out. Tears are a release of anxiety. I think I would have exploded if I had tried to hold it in. I think my husband thought I was falling apart at the time, but he has said to me later, "I think that is just how you dealt with it". Don't worry, you will feel better when it is time to feel better. I had a friend down the street who had just finished TAC a few months before I started and looking back, if she hadn't told me how great she felt afterwards, I might not have made it. So I'm telling you, you are not wrong, or crazy, or anything for being depressed. You are dealing with a very hard thing, BUT it will pass. And you are so near the end. Life will be good again, you are so close! And you will have the peace of mind knowing that you finished the strongest chemo and gave yourself the best chance for getting rid of this $hit for good. Feel free to pm me if you need a peptalk. I lived for my friends peptalks.

Shannon

Jeannette...you are done! That is wonderful! Yippee!

Brigitte, Just think, after tomorrow....just ONE more. You are getting closer. The day before my chemo was the worst. The Decadron really made me emotional. I would cry and cry and wonder if I could really do it all again. I am encouraged when I hear others who have 'been there' say 'life will be good again.'

I am 6 days post my last TAC and it has been one of the easier ones. I am not as nauseated and am feeling like I have more energy. I'm still having a lot of heartburn though so I'm taking pepcid everyday.

Good luck tomorrow Brigitte...let us know how you are.

Molly

Hi Tac Ladies.
Congrats to all that have finished and to those that have a few to go please hang in there.

Brigitte, I know how you feel about never feeling free from cancer. When I was taking chemo, I had to live for that day or that moment or through that treatment. You think -Is this gonna even work? Everyone says "think about the future" and you do, hoping and striving to survive to live your life the way we knew it before our diagnosis.

Now that I have a few weeks behind me I look back on the seven months I have lost since my diagnosis in January. I still have 4 more weeks of radiation. I go in every m-f at 2pm for radiation. I am angry and sad about losing so much of my life to cancer. For the first time in my life, I have had to be self absorbed to get through this. I miss my freedom of being able to do anything for everybody else. And yes I think that there is always a chance of reoccurrance, especially in the first two years. But I have to reconcile myself to the fact that I did all I could, especially by getting through TAC. It's not like I will live forever, but I know that if I can beat this that my life has been changed forever. I view life much differently than before. So while living for the next treatment and beyond, don't forget the lesson we left behind. Don't let the cancer win and make you feel defeated, it has already robbed us of so much.

Take care and Kick Cancer's butt!
Marcia

Hi Brigitte,

I'm hangin, a bit queasy and still can't sleep but otherwise OK. I think I out did myself the past couple of days, however because...

Apparently I have been anemic for a while, but the ER was more concerned about my extremely high white blood cell counts and decided not to give me a transfusion for the low red counts because I didn't loook that bad, which it why I have been feeling like crap for the past 3 weeks. I guess my hematocrit has been decreasing with every round, but not enough to knock me on my butt til round 4.

I didn't know that the hematocrit was that low to cause problems (25 last weekend and 28 today) until I told my infusion nurse every detail of the past 3 weeks, and she looked at all of the results of all of my blood work since the beginning. I never knew that insomnia was a symptom of low red counts among the other thiings that I have been feeling.

I got a neupogen shot and have to get one every week. She wanted me to have a blood transfusion tomorrow. BUT when she ran this by my onc, he wanted me to skip chemo today and delay it a week, give my body a chance to regenerate the red blood cells, and get the neupogen shot every week til the end of chemo. Still nauseous, so they will also put ativan in the IV for the real round 5.

So this puts back another surgical procedure I was scheduled to have because now that will be the time my counts will be low between days 7 and14.

I hope you make it through this round OK, and you are almost done!!!! Hoooooray!

Keep your head up,
Ferne

Hello everyone,
I went to the radiation doc yesterday. I go in for simulation next Tuesday and should start rads the week after. I also have my 1st herceptin shot next Tuesday. I will be having 33 radiation treatments.
Hope everyone is hanging in there!
Take Care,

Mindy

I've been experimenting. I think I finally got my little bald head on this silly computer. Let's see.
Jackie