Chemo brain; not just a temporary phenomenon

Hi everyone,

I am 8 years out now and am so grateful for all the wonderful support on this site.  I received Taxotere, Cytoxan and Adriamycin.  I took  a job with an insurance company as a nurse case manager 1 year ago and was fired after 3 months.  I thought that the reason that I did not succeed on this job had to do with the poor training that I had on a very complicated computer system that required constant changing of screens to accomplish 1 task.  I have never been fired from a job before. I decided to use the time off to go to Dr's apts that I had been putting off.  In the process I ended up on opiates because the Restless Leg Syndrome that I have has been so poorly controlled (that is a whole story in and of itself). Bottom line is that I ended up being dx'd with sleep apnea and the neuro MD suggested that I apply for disability since the meds that worked were causing me so many side effects and he had run out of options. As part of the whole disability thing, I was required to go to a neuro psych Dr.  I did below average on the testing that he gave me. He told me that I have chemo brain which is manifested by short attention span and memory problems.  I did not know that "chemo brain" is a permanent thing.  Has anyone else experienced this years after receiving chemo?  My short term memory is getting so bad that I can put something in the refrigerator, turn around to do something else and forget what I just put in the fridge.  It was a very sobering day yesterday.  It is so hard to admit to myself that I have mental limitations.  I really don't want to be on disability but I have used up all my retirement trying to get down to the bottom of my problems.  I have been offered a job that I am supposed to start Jan 6th.  What if I turn down the disability and find that I can't do the job?  What if I start the job, get accepted for disability and then get turned down when they find out that I went to get a job.  I don't know what to do. I met a nice man that I really connect with.  I don't know whether or when I should tell him about all of this.  I feel alone and scared.  As a single mother, the one thing that you need are your mental faculties!  I hope that this does not get worse!  Thanks for letting me vent.