I'm VERY scared for my mother.

quixoticelixer · December 2013

Hi, I'm an 18 year old female and my mom just started chemo. I'm deathly afraid for her and here's why:

She has triple positive breast cancer, stage 2, and had a double mastectomy. She is undergoing aggressive chemotherapy for 8 weeks and then switching to another type of chemo for a whole year while receiving radiation. That sounds like too much for her body to handle and I just don't have a good feeling about this at all but there's nothing I can do. She is already feeling very tired and I hate seeing her like this. I can't take it.

I'm holding back tears as I'm sitting here typing because I share a bedroom with my little sister so I have to be strong for her. I have been strong this whole time and haven't been depressed. I'm trying my best to stay hopeful about this but I have a strong feeling of uncertainty plaguing me. I have very strong instincts and most of the time they turn out to be right.

I'm doing everything I can to help her and I'm spending loads of time with her. I just wish this was all a bad dream. Life is suddenly really weird and I hate it.

Sorry for complaining but I needed somewhere to vent.

Have any of you, or a loved one, gone through such aggressive treatments? Please be honest with your responses just in case I have to prepare for the worst. Any tips on what I can do to go above and beyond for her?

Thank you.

inks · December 2013

So sorry that you have to go through this! Chemo is not pleasant but is doable, the doctors will monitor your mom closely to make sure her body can handle it. My advice to you would be to take care of yourself so that your mom does not have to worry about you on top of her own things. Make sure you eat, set priorities for all the other day to day matters, some things can wait. If you are still in school could you talk to a counselor at school? Has your mom seen a social worker at the treatment center, they may be able to find a support group or counseling to help you through this. Your moms treatment plan is fairly common, do not jump ahead of things - you do not have to prepare yourself for the worst yet. Take things day by day. You can see how other people are handling the same type of chemo by reading or posting on the chemo forums http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69 . Sending strength and prayers your way!

sheila888 · December 2013

Hi...I was also Triple Positive and had 8 DD chemo..Radiation and 1 year of Herceptin

Herceptin is not a chemo it's a maintenance drug....

Your mother's hair will grow during this treatment and there isn't any SE

I understand you are worried....and this is a difficult time for the entire family

I wish your mother the best sending hugs to your family

Sheila

SpecialK · December 2013

It is important for you to realize that a stage II breast cancer, even though triple positive, is considered an early stage cancer. Your mom is receiving standard of care for triple positive, and there are many of us who post on this site who have had exactly the same course of treatment that she will, and we are doing just fine! After the chemo drugs are completed your mom will be continuing on Herceptin for the balance of the year - Herceptin is a wonderful drug for us triple positives - and it has very few side effects, it is not a chemo drug, but rather a targeted therapy for Her2+. Once she has completed chemo, and moves on to radiation her energy should start to rebound, maybe a bit slowly, but it will. I am sure that this entire experience is quite frightening for you, I know it was for my daughter - she was 21 when I was diagnosed and treated. It is important that you take care of yourself and try not to worry. Help as much as you can but remember to live your own life too! I am sure that your mom is receiving great care, and while she seems tired right now, that is temporary. If you have any specific questions, please ask them, or private message any of us - that is why we are here.

dancermom · December 2013

I had the same exact treatment, most women diagnosed with triple positive cancer do. The tiredness is very common with the chemo. It will get much better once she is off the 8 weeks of chemo and finishes radiation and switches to herceptin only. You are a wonderful daughter and sister, but I think you should talk to your mom about your fears. Maybe you could go with her to her next appointment and speak to the doctor, he or she may be able to alleviate some of your concerns. Or perhaps there is a psychologist or someone at the treatment center who you can talk to. Please know that most everyone gets thru these treatments fine, and the odds are your mom is going to be fine. Take care.

ziggypop · December 2013

Hi sweet girl, Of course you are scared, but as the other women here have said, this is an early stage cancer and what the doctors are doing is treating it. Getting through that initial chemo will likely be hard on your mom - but if it is too much to stand, they will adjust the dosage. After chemo is over, she will start feeling better and regaining strength.

There are likely to be days when your mom is depressed and sometimes even angry - treatments can do that along with all the emotions that come with this disease. Know that if she is either of those things - it's not you or your sister - its the chemicals, hormones, and every thing that goes with this. I'm thinking that your little sister is scared too and it's important to reassure her that things will be okay.

What a blessing for your mom to have you and your little sister there. Do take care of yourself, and tell your mom everything that is going on in your life (moms love that). And hugs and kisses (those help moms a lot).

I'm VERY scared for my mother.

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