Need advice (also posted on newly diagnosed)

Hi,

Four months ago, my best friend passed away from breast cancer at the age of 43. It was a long rough road, and I'm still having a hard time believing she is gone. Just a few days ago, my mother had a biopsy on her right breast after a suspicious mammogram showed spots on both the right and left breast. She has now been diagnosed with breast cancer. Here is what I could get from her pathology report:

"Less than 25% of the cores contain an infiltrating ductal carcinoma. It is at least a grade II with an estimated SBR score of 7."

"ER, PR and HER-2/neu will be determined on a different report."

Here is where I need advice because I'm not sure that I'm able to be completely rational at this point. The doctor said they would do a lumpectomy on the right breast and get "clean margins". They will also check her lymph nodes and if there is any spread to the lymph nodes they would remove those too. They have not biopsied the spots on the left breast, but said they would wait 6 months and keep an eye on it.

In my mind, they are being very very conservative. My mom hasn't gotten any other information besides what is listed above. She has an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow and I would love to know what questions she should ask. I would like to know how they determined the lumpectomy (vs. mastectomy) as the course of action. I would also like to know how they can determine that course without information on what is in the left breast and lymph node involvement.

What questions should she ask the surgeon so that she can be her own advocate for her treatment? She is not opposed to a double mastectomy just to be extra aggressive if that's a possible option. What questions should she ask the oncology team? What information does she need to understand exactly what she's dealing with.

Any thoughts on important questions to ask would be really helpful.

Thanks,

Steph