Emotions are all over the place

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ClaireFraser
ClaireFraser Member Posts: 94
edited June 2014 in DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)


I will keep it brief, because I've posted my info in several other topics. I had a lumpectomy last week and the margins came back dirty. She removed a plum size amount and I'm not very big, so I have opted for a UMX, instead of another lumpectomy, because I would rather not worry she didn't get it all (we all know how tricky DCIS is). Anyway, I met with a PS yesterday and there is just so much to consider at this point. I've tried to stay positive, but in actuality, I was expecting clean margins, then accelerated radiation, followed by Tamoxifin. I thought I had it all figured out.


So now given this new direction, I am feeling overwhelmed and sad.


Thanks for letting me unload, ladies.


God bless,

Claire

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Comments

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited December 2013


    Hi Claire.....this whole BC thing can be very overwhelming and many have felt what you are feeling now. Having to change to another path in your treatment plan can feel like you are facing a mountain with no safety ropes in sight..........hang in there. Deep down you know you have made the right decision for you as you say you would rather not worry that the margins aren't clean.


    The sadness comes from the fact that you are grieving for the loss of part of yourself and the fact that your life path has changed..........you are allowed to feel the sadness and it is very normal.


    If it all becomes a little too much don't forget to reach out to your medical team and ask for something to help you through all the rough patches.


    Love n hugs. Chrissy

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  • crystalphm
    crystalphm Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2013


    It really is overwhelming and hard to figure out. And cancer is a journey that always changes.


    I did get the mastectomy and all the cancer was removed with clear margins, so I did not even need radiation.


    Wishing you the best, please update us here...

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  • mrenee68
    mrenee68 Member Posts: 383
    edited December 2013


    so sorry you have to join us, but you are making the best decision for the circumstances. This is quite a journey that you are starting on and yes the emotions you are having a normal. Take it one day at a time and know that you are not alone. We have all been where you are in one way or another. Take care of yourself a and remember to breather. This to shall pass, just not as quickly as you may like. ((Hugs))

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  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited December 2013


    It's a hard pill to swallow. Take your time to grieve and to make decisions about the next steps. Unlike some of the others, we can take some time. You will get through this, and you will feel strong and back to yourself again. I had 4 surgeries last year, but this year has been wonderful. Life on the other side of all of this comes with a new appreciation for the little things. Even the time spent recovering from MX can be a good time to rest, read, & catch up with old friends. BC is an endless set of crappy choices, but family and friends are the silver linings. I didn't know how amazing my community was until I went through this. I hope you find some silver linings too. Best wishes through this trying time of decisions and waiting. You can always unload here!

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  • ClaireFraser
    ClaireFraser Member Posts: 94
    edited December 2013


    You all are wonderful, thank you for your words of wisdom. LAstar, family and friends being the silver lining... your words put tears in my eyes. Thank you.

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  • ice
    ice Member Posts: 7
    edited December 2013


    Hi Claire,


    Its a tough decision and im sure mx will work out. I have to decide between lx and mx myself and because of the size of dcis, im scared about the margins too!!


    I find that sometimes a good cry helps...at least stress wise...though not practically!!!


    take care

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  • wyo
    wyo Member Posts: 541
    edited December 2013


    HI Clare- no apologies needed to come here and "let it all out". I think some of the great posters have said it all. The one thing I have learned through my whole experience is that what you think you are going to do is often not what ends up actually happening. I just try to roll with the punches and come up swinging because I want to live a lot longer.


    I am a surgical nurse so I am a huge believer in what surgery can do for "source control" and getting things out of your body that you don't want in there. We used to joke- when in doubt-cut it out! I have not joked about that lately but I think I will again someday. The big decisions I suppose are around reconstruction (or not) and what to do with that other breast.


    Take the time you need and make the decision you can accept and get behind 100% to deal with this diagnosis.

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