Having a hard time emotionally

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tangandchris
tangandchris Member Posts: 1,855
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I just had my bi MX last WED, so it's been a week. I've been a wreck mostly since I got home last Friday. I'm breaking down crying, I feel overwhelmed, and I can't take care of my youngest child which makes me feel like total crap. Tonight I was reading some stuff on this forum and I realized that while I've had my surgery, I still have soooooo much more to deal with. Chemo, Rads, Hormone Treatment......

I have alot of family help, friends, and a supportive husband..but none of them really "get it". I feel alone, I feel scared, and worst of all I'm feeling helpless. Sometimes I feel hopeful and like I'm gonna beat this thing, but other times I don't feel that way and it just pisses me off when I hear people talk like that.

I was looking at options earlier for wigs, hats, scarves....none of which I want to even have to do and it all came crashing down on me again. I HAVE CANCER!!!!

 

I got to vent, sorry for the negativity, but I hope someone here can understand.

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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited December 2013


    Hi Tangandchris don't worry about venting, here is the perfect place for that and we do indeed 'get it'. Right now what you are feeling and going through is very normal for where you are on this journey........overwhelmed, scared and emotionally blowing in the wind......it does get better but it will take time.


    Please don't beat yourself up for things that are beyond your control and getting cancer was nothing that you did or didn't do. You will be able to look after your youngest child but for now let others and you concentrate on healing from surgery and getting through the rest of your treatment.........a child doesn't care who does for them as long as they are loved by someone and that for you has not changed and you are still able to communicate with them.


    I'm sending you the biggest cyber ((((((hug)))))) and hope you are feeling a little better emotionally.


    Love n hugs. Chrissy

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  • mrenee68
    mrenee68 Member Posts: 383
    edited December 2013


    tangandchris - just know you are not alone, we have all been where you are. This to shall pass, but it will take time. Be kind to yourself, rest, and take care of yourself. It sounds like you have a wonderful support system so use them. It is so hard for women to take care of themselves, we tend to be the caretakers of others, but now you need to focus on you. It's ok to cry, to be scared, to yell and scream. Do whatever you need to heal. Try and take it one day at a time, or one hour, or one minutes. ((Hugs))

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  • ziggypop
    ziggypop Member Posts: 1,071
    edited December 2013


    (((((hugs))))) mrenee is right, we have all be where you are, and it will pass. That doesn't mean that you won't have 'down' times again, but over time it gets better. For now rest, eat your favorite things, watch movies, sleep. Take the pain pills - you actually heal better when pain is managed. Ask your doc for anti-anxiety meds if you don't have them (this is exactly the kind of situation they are for). I want to just add one thing - when you read about all of the things on these boards know that people are often posting because they are having a hard time with something. I had a really hard time with chemo, but my sister-in-law sailed through it, rads went easy for me & so far tamoxifin has been pretty dang simple (couple side effects but they're no under control). So try not to think too far ahead. You have taken a huge step by getting the surgery done, and you will get through the rest of it one step at a time. (((((((((more hugs))))))))))))))

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  • mcgis
    mcgis Member Posts: 291
    edited December 2013


    Tangandchris~ I'm sorry you are feeling this way but I bet most everyone on this board has felt the same at least once since being diagnosed. I was diagnosed in April and I'll look over at my daughter and still have feelings of being a complete failure at being a Mom. Her bday was in Sept. and we still haven't taken her and friends to celebrate. Ugh. Now with the holidays it's being put off longer. It's time to take care of yourself and educate those around you. My Mom came to help me and she, my husband, and I were learning everything together. They knew I was going to have bad days and I knew they too would have them. Communicate with them, let them know what you need... And allow yourself to grieve and allow others to help you. It was really hard for me to have someone else clean my house, fix dinner... My daughter actually got mean towards my Mom because she felt like I was being replaced by her. It's tough. I'm not going to lie. You will get through this. One day at a time. One hour at a time. Lots of + thoughts!

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