Cytoxan Taxotere Chemo Ladies- February/March 2013

I copied/pasted from the October group here because I am so tired.

You guys are the best ever. I could read on my stupid iphone 4 from the hospital but had a hard time to post. I am home but might have to go back. Hgb went from 122 to 109 so they are not sure if still bleeding or diluted from IV fluids. I will have it checked in 2 days and go back for scope if still low.

Fatique has set in and neutrofils quite low. I am taking flagyl and cypro now so that hurts the gut too.

My theory on chemo right now is that for a 10% chance of kicking cancer (that I might not have) it really isn't worth it to ruin my colon. I have had diverticulitis before and because I have diverticulosis am more susceptible. I really think that life would be better with colon in place and gamble on the breast cancer. I am 66. Will discuss with onc but that is where I am right now.

I cannot tell you how much it meant to me to read your posts. I wish I had a better phone so I could have responded but reading was very comforting.

Nicole, I thought of you this morning knowing you were just down the street and I hoped you were doing ok. One more to go for you. I hope this one is an easy ride for me. Check in when you are up to it and thank you so much for your kindness.

Huge hugs to everyone here....xoxoxoxoxo

Wrenn, Thanks so much for checking in with us when you are feeling so rotten. I am glad you are able to come home, but I do hope you are getting the care you need. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers. You have had one round which very likely killed and and all rogue cells that were there. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

SC, I have been trying to find gift ideas too! DH did come gloating home the other day letting me know that he did my shopping for me (he bought himself a belt sander). All i have bought for him so far is a gift certificate for a sushi making class. He is a real foodie.

VirginiaNJ, Vent away! I have thrown myself many pity parties, and I tend to feel quite a bit better afterwards...mentally, anyway. I am a list person too, and I like to make lists of what i want to get done each day...even if there are only one or 2 things on the list, I still feel like I accomplished something.

Indenial, I wonder if some of those effects are from the tamoxifen. My MO wants me to start it Dec 7, but that was an arbitrary day...he picked it so i would remember. I do not plan to take it until My side effects from chemo are decreased a bit. I want to know which effects are from which, because my MO seems to be the king of denying side effects are from chemo, etc. I plan to keep a daily journal...will see if that helps. I do hope your side effects improve and that you get to feeling better soon.

thank you KBeee xo

Headeast, I have not had any scans yet at all. Since I was node negative, MO refuses to do scans unless there are specific symptoms. I go in to see him 4 weeks PFC, and they will draw labs, and I guess he will talk about plans from this point forward and see how things are going on tamoxifen. I plan to make an appointment with my gyn doc in the next month or 2 because I would like an exam at the beginning of tamoxifen to see if there are any changes over time. My mom did Tamoxifen for 5 years and had no major problems other than hideous hot flashes. I hope I am as lucky. My Final chemo was November 22. He has me starting Tamoxifen on December 7. He picked that day because it is Pearl Harbor Day, and he thought that would help me remember to start on that day. I do have to ask PS if it is ok to be on that during surgery. I assume so, but really, I have no clue!

Headeast, I had no scans before or after treatment. I saw my onc 3 weeks after my final chemo & got my Tamoxifen prescription, started it the same day. Had bloodwork at my 3-month follow-up to make sure my liver was tolerating the Tamox but other than that, no other tests/scans/etc.

Thanks guys for the input on how you've been since finishing... I did talk to my surgeon today (my onc isn't easy for me to talk to) and she suggested I see a specialist... though she wasn't sure who exactly I should see. I always seem to baffle the doctors! She thought some of my issues were likely recovering from chemo, and some due to Tamox, and some due to pre-existing health issues. So, who knows. I should track my symptoms, that is a good idea.

Headeast - I finished my fills a week and a half ago.....I am at 480cc (I have 500cc expanders and my ps never overfills). He said I was done bc my skin on my previously radiated side was getting too thin. My expanders are low and under my armpits.....lol. Very weird. I'm having a hard time imagining how I will look when it's all said and done (they tell me the final implants will be higher and closer together.....I.e. Less under my armpits). I was really large busted before so it's been strange being so much smaller but it's awesome not having to wear a bra lol.

Wrenn-I just read the past couple of days..and I am soo sorry you have the diverticulitis...my husband has had that twice..and both times the pain has brought him to his knees. He is not one to complain either..so I know it must hurt so bad! Not to mention, still having the awful chemo in you! I am sending you healing thoughts and prayers!

Headeast-I had to seriously push my oncologist to do CT scan after chemo...How are you suppose to know if its gone, if you don't have..is my question. I wanted to know so if one cell was left I'd do more chemo. When I went for my 2nd opinion on rads at Cancer Treatment Ctrs/Amer..they did a bone scan to make sure. They said you do need all the scans to know if its gone....which is ONE of the reasons I fired my original oncologist.

The tamoxifen I started 4 weeks after last chemo..mine was pushed a week out due to going for 2nd opinion..and then I dropped script off at pharmacy on a Friday and told them I would pick up Monday..wanted one more weekend....lol...I've had a few cramps in my knees..but went away..and have hot flushes..but those are about gone since I started taking the Remefin. Its been the save!! Other than that, can't really tell I'm on it.

Indenial-I am doing well since new oncologist. They have me on iron (this was main thing I think helped get me back to good), vitamin D and multi B..I'm, on my own, taking Biotin..which seems to be working as hair is growing back and nails still real strong. A few other supplements. I think you should get your scans and a whole blood workup to find out whats going on. One thing I have learned, is not to put a blind trust in one doctor. Its amazing the differences. I found that out, also, by reading these boards. Its like nothing is a sure thing. sigghhh

I hope you guys have a good week this week. I am still reading, at least every other day. I wasn't for a bit when I finished..but found..and this, to me, was weird..but when I went back to work and felt back to old self (I was out of work for 6 months with all my surgeries..then chemo)..that the past 6 months became like a dream..kind of hazy. ..hard to explain. I found myself going back to my old way of eating and not sleeping good...I have stopped that. I thought I would want to forget it..but find my old life feels "off"..so I've decided I don't want to forget. I read your posts and am right back with you..remembering..and it keeps me doing what I need to do to get myself as healthy as possible. This may all sound a bit crazy..I really thought..as narrow as my world became in those 6 months..that I would never forget every single little minute of hell..but I guess the mind is mysterious.

CKmoss, thanks for all the information. What resonated for me most was how everything became hazy and distant. I plan to stick around when I;m done. The daily tamoxifen for the next 10 years, should help me stay focused . this reminds me I want to see the nutritionist at the cancer center and begin to plan. I am starting the Livestrong exercise program, if they clear me, in January and I am looking forward to it.

When they took my blood work last time, the nurse mistakenly gave me the CA 27-29 marker and it came up high....57. Greater that 38 can be an indication of cancer in the body. I tried not to freak out because I am node negative and he remarked that the nurse did not have to give me that test, However he did say we would repeat it at the end of chemo to see what it would be. My MO is the kind who will give information as it pertains to the moment so as not to overwhelm me, if I ask however he will talk about what our long term plan will be. IT is conceivable that he and I will be together for the next 20 years. ack!

I am assuming there will be some scans, I wont be able to sleep without it .

VirginiaNJ -- what kept me focused on the positive when my hair was falling out was reminding myself that this was undeniable evidence that the chemo was WORKING! I imagined thousands of cancer cells disappearing with every strand of hair -- ZAP!

That said, I had a "hair" breakthrough at our fitness center yesterday. I felt good enough to make the trip down the mountain with DH to do an easy weight lifting session, followed by some water aerobics in the pool. I bought a swim cap to match my suit, but decided it looked even more ridiculous than my fuzzy bald head. So I left it off for the water walking -- liberating! Next time will be easier.

Does more hair keep falling out with each chemo, or is it mostly done after chemo1? I'm not completely bald now (chemo2, day 15) and it would be nice not to have it all disappear...

Bluegrassharp- thank you - yes - that's exactly what my sweet brother (who has been taking great care of me as I am single and live alone) said - at least the chemo is working. I am much more sad about my hair falling out this time - prob just REALLY pissed and angry that I am going through it again.

Last time - my sister shaved my head two weeks after my first treatment as my scalp really really hurt...so I can't really speak to the hair falling out more with each treatment... This time, my scalp is just itchy, but no pain - but the hair is EVERYWHERE - lol. Interestingly, my onc told me NOT to shave my head this time as she wasn't certain all my hair would fall out..... Decisions decisions - at the end of the day I think it will just be easier with a bald head

Yay you for the exercise!!! . I think that's so key. I walked 3 miles yesterday and today- was the first time in a while as our temps dipped into the 20's last week and that's where I draw the line lol.

Getting there Quirky!!! I hope you get cleared so you can take the next step!!! I tolerated the first treatment fairly well. Felt crummy for about 5 days- but pretty good the rest of the time. Pls keep us posted for your start day!!! I go for #2 Monday - will be 50% done!

Okay my TC ladies...Here is funny for you..

Take Chemo they said.

It won’t be that bad they said.

Your periods will stop they said.

They freakin’ LIED....expecially on the last part.

SchoolCounselor- I had mouth sores too. I’m afraid next week that I will end up in the ER because after the chemo#1 my tonsils swelled shut and I had to run to the pharmacies for steroids and antibiotics and my fever was hovering around 99.9. My MO told me to see a densest and throat doctor. Chemo does weird stuff. I hope you get better. I was an APChemistry and APPhysics teacher for years and taught College classes, so disinfect a lot around the kiddos, especially papers.

The period thing is making me mad because I’m day 13 out off 1st treatment and losing all my hair and no tampons because you can Not risk infection. ARGHHH...I have had a bloody nose for two weeks and bloody diarrhea off and on. I Love my CHEMO!

T must stand for Tums, Tummy aches, Tits hurting, Toes locking, Tingles in hands and feet, Tongue swollen, Tonsils closing

C must stand for Clips of hair falling, Chip nails, Close sores in mouth, Cancelled plans, Chutzpa emotions, Chin hair

Feel free to add others to the list.

(copy/paste).I have really bad stomach pains and have no idea if it is a chemo side effect, a diverticulitis side effect or flagyl/cipro side effect. Just waiting it out.

As far as stopping chemo. My home care nurse who came to change my dressing today said that people adapt to colostomies but it seems to me that the cancer can come back with or without chemo but the bowel problems WILL be there if I continue chemo, I just think that at 66 years old I would rather gamble on the cancer and avoid other quality of life issues. I could adapt to a colostomy if I had colon cancer but it just doesn't seem logical too me to continue given the odds.

Chemo has been as they say "doable" until this. I really have been pretty lucky compared to some of you. I am amazed at how you keep soldiering on....and with a sense of humour. :-)

Hi ladies, I made it thru chemo #1 today w/o a hitch! YAY!

I hope you all who are having problems, get them resolved soon.

Congratulations on those of you who are finishing!

Thanks for being here~

((HUGS))

Terri