In shock

Edi, did you see my link to our chorus video on Facebook?

It is much better quality than the YouTube ones, and shows the whole package, not just the songs. I seem to remember ordering a DVD some weeks before the contest, so that, and the official photograph, will be a lovely keepsake.

I must confess to being really down in the dumps the last week or so. I think I had Hawaii in my sights as my target for recovery for so long, and I'm so proud that I made it, but now that's passed I feel like I am literally adrift. Now what??

Funnily enough I dreamed the other night that I got into this ferry boat, to get back to my family, but found it abandoned. The waves were rising and the boat was getting swamped. Then I realised it had come adrift from the shore and I was being swept away by the tide. Alone in this boat, no oars, motor or any way to steer the thing. Literally up shit creek without a paddle!

I saw my GP about my twitches and he is investigating my thyroid function. So now I'm convinced I have thyroid cancer or, worse still, mets! Oy Veh!!!

I know. Tell me I'm being ridiculous.

Thanks but not convinced

Best case is BFS (benign fasciculation syndrome), or some equally innocuous thing completely unrelated to cancer, eg simple stress.

Or if it IS the thyroid, maybe its just coincidental (I know a few people with "thyroid issues"), or maybe the thyroid took a thwack of radiation and got some damage. All very treatable.

Thyroid cancer has an association with bc, but in itself, usually has a high cure rate. Mets would be worst case, imho.

Just writing this here because I cannot go there with dh or anyone close to me and give them my dread. Sorry. I'll go and have a bath with that cyber bath bomb. Thanks Jenifer! xxx

I feel your pain.  I was in shock too.  I will be 52 tomorrow.  I was just diagnosed over a month ago. Had a lumpectomy oct. 30th. Hopefully no chemo.  Just radiation. I am stage 1 took out 4 lymph nodes.  The tumor was 1.72  You are in the the right place.. This web site is VERY helpful, very reassuring. It has a lot of information for all your  questions. I became little over whelmed. BUT, I am fine. I am positive I will be fine.  I will do what ever it takes. Tuesday I get the reults from my octontype dx test. It took two weeks to get. This test will tell weather the BC can reoccur and what grade level will depend on chemo or no chemo. You hang in there, KEEP positive. We are all here for you. Good luck!!!!

Hope it all goes wonderfully tomorrow Movie. Sure it will, and we will all be in your pockets making sure your PS does a great job ....... Then all done! YAY!!!! xxx

Morwenna - try not to think the worst! I know it is very hard - but it is something which we have to keep working on continuously. I find I have to keep myself really busy in order for my mind not to run riot. I am sure your thyroid will be just fine. Do you feel more tired than usual? Your dream from the other night sounds more like a nightmare!! Hugs to you! What Facebook page is your choir on - I would love to have a listen.

Edi - since I am not on a breast cancer face book page, I didn't know it was your birthday - sounds like you had a good day. Happy birthday - you are still young! Glad to hear that your Christmas bazaar went well. Hope your Chinese dinner was good - I used to love Chinese food, but have gone off it recently.

Momof2 - keep on resting up - you will be fine! Thanks for your cheerful spirit.

Jackpot - welcome!

Nihahi - bet you had a blast with your girl friends.

Movie - will be in your pocket for your upcoming surgery on Tuesday - hope all goes well.

Morwenna - just checked out the Facebook page and I listened to the YouTube clips. Very impressive - I think I can pick out - are you in the back row on the left hand side (looking towards the stage )? Your chorus sounds great !!!

Hi

Morwenna, Love and ((( HUGS ))) by the bucketful. Gosh we come on here and think " its just me with all these fears, aches and pains " then realise that even the busy, happy sisters are wading through the same sxxt.
As for the nightmares " got the Tee shirt " with knobs on !! You will never be cast adrift, we are here and don't you EVER forget that.
I rant on about DH because have no one else to talk to but BC is our main enemy and together we will throw you a gorgeous life belt reeking of chanel no 5. Put it on, jump in, and we will tow you to a desert island
. There we will all lie in the sunshine and sip healthy cocktails.
You are not being ridiculous either because if you are then we ALL are and that's not possible
Will check out f/b link. X

Movie, ((( HUG ))) in those pockets. Sure you will fly through procedure as you are incredible  Superwoman has nothing on you. X

MsMaple, Welcome  defo nutters thread and that is what makes it special. Some threads can be a little scarey but here that never happens. Stick with us X

Adagio, X

Up since really early,  gotta chill a bit today and maybe excercise ? Hectic weekends take their toll.

Will catch up later, LOVE to ALL X

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR EDI!!!!!! Gosh, sorry I missed your "day"!!!!! You can always rant about hubby here....gotta get that junk OUT, or your pretty head would explode! Sounds like you new stove is working out wonderfully!!!! Not good news about shedman, though.....so sorry to hear that update.

Morwenna....holy crap batman, what a day to have to go out!!!! Hubby is working from home today. We've got a windchill of -23, and the snow is going sideways. Can barely see across the street. Don't you just love it when you are supposed to go out for something.....and all the news reports are telling you to stay off the roads unless absolutely necessary! Please......drive safely. Any chance you could call in and reschedule???? The mind is such a "teenager" at times.....absolutely positively "knows better" than to go hang out on the dark side.....takes us there anyways. I agree with your theory that now that Hawaii is done...."now what".....and off goes the imagination, to the thoughts that you were too "pre-occupied with positive" to have before your trip. Maybe start making some shorter, less "big-event" goals, that can help you feel more focussed and healthy??? You know, set some health/physical goals, plan some little fun things with family and friends.... The first year of "medical abandonment" after such intense treatment is the toughest.

msmaples....welcome....this is a positive, supportive, informative thread. There IS life other than cancer, even when in the midst of the fight....that is what I love about these ladies....!

momof2.....hope this is a better week for you....tell your docs about the se's most definitely....love your hubby's attitude...thinking of you lots, everytime I look north at night.

movie...gigantic hugs, girl!!! You know everyone on the diep thread is also hopping in those pockets....it's going to be interesting....compression garment with pockets!!!! You got through the "big one" this is going to be different, but very doable!!!!!!! Can't wait to hear how hubby is pampering you.

It was a wonderful GWA.....lots of chat, cups of coffee, good food (even tried to make it healthier this time for all of us), dips in the hot tub, wood fire crackling in the room. beautiful elk with HUGE racks of antlers roaming around...... One of the gals and I went for our first cross country ski of the season, before the others got up to Banff on Friday. So lovely...but, yet another trail compromised by the floods. Anyway....time to catch up on things around here and watch the snow come. Have good days ladies. Love to all.

Nihahi, WELCOME BACK  missed you so much. Sounds like you had an amazing time.Keep safe in that weather !!
Morwenna, you too.

Dinner time so off to make some extra creamy mash potato using my new potato ricer.DH is glad he bought the new stove as meals have improved ha ha.
Tonight chicken, mash and spinach with a mushroom gravy. Then steamed sponge pud and custard. LOVE winter food sod salads !!

Laters x

mo.....the weather is getting worse here......are you sure you can't reschedule that course today?????

edi.....set another place at the dinner table for me too please....but....I'll pass on the dessert. Haven't made it down to the gym today.

adagio.....I'm no saint, but not having a real "sweet tooth" helps. I've just gotten used to recognizing the " sugar high/lows then sluggy, yucko" feeling I seem to get after eating refined carbs and empty (nutrition wise) foods. I am usually too active to feel good eating that stuff, as it doesn't leave room for the protein and "better" carbs that I seem to need. It might help that I wasn't raised with dessert being the norm either, except on Sunday or special occasions. We couldn't afford it, really, so Mom didn't make things like that often. I do have to be disciplined with "salty" things though....that is what I crave....I'm definitely getting much better, but I wouldn't advise anyone getting between me and a bag of Miss Vickies Original Potato chips if I'm having one of "those" days !!!!

morwenna....I have sent emails to benny, that she hasn't responded to, but hopefully is reading. I am reluctant to call her, as I don't want to risk waking her up if she is sleeping. If the roads improve mid-week, so that I could get into Calgary, and I haven't heard from her, I will call, however. I don't think she has been on the boards, though I could be wrong about that. I'm serious about you trying to reschedule that course...it is horrible out our way!!!!!

Got here safe. Didn't you know AHS is one of those famous immovable objects? Well I plan on being the equally famous irresistible force!

Getting home tonight might be interesting though ...

Sounds like you Alberta women are having some wild weather - again! Pray that you are all safe and sound.

Morwenna and Edi, I can relate to you both on the fears, aches and pains front. I liked Nihahi's advice to focus on shorter term, less big event goals. That's my problem - I'm a planner and I like to have short, medium and long-term goals, but right now it feels like it would be foolhardy to look more than a few months out - at least every time I find myself thinking on the scale of years out, this little voice inside my head yanks me back saying "Remember, you have cancer - it's just a coin toss as to whether you'll even be alive". It's all because of those damn nodes - think I might have been able to be more optimistic with a different pathology. Anyway, guess this is another life lesson - that I should use a candle rather than a lantern to light my path and take each day as it comes.

Morwenna, I went out and watched your video on YouTube too - beautiful singing and it just looked like you were all having so much fun!

Edi, did you say your first concert is this week? Did your DH relent and decide to go with you? In any case, hope you will have a joyful time!

Nihahi, glad to hear your GWA went well - miss you on the boards when you're not here!

I too am hoping that Benny is doing okay and will soon be back with us.

Movie, in your pockets tomorrow - hope it will be a pain free event for you.

Momof2, hope your SEs are diminishing and that you'll have some very good days before the next round.

We're just having a brief break at DH's place outside Louisville before packing up our feline cargo and continuing on our journey back to Indy. Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow!

Hope everybody else is fit and happy and that the week has started well for each of you.

mo....checking in to see if you made it home ok. Please let us know....it's not fit for man or beast out there.

websister...sure hope you're not driving home from BC in this....if you are...TURN AROUND!!!! .

adagio....Yep...almost got it... AHS = Alberta Health Services. The beast that "organizes and runs" (hahaha) our medical system in Alberta.

Caitlin....I firmly believe in our ability to teach ourselves to be able to recognize that we do have positive reasons to look to the future, and and with acknowledging the "small" successes of time and/or accomplishment...we can learn to have hope. I will never accept the mindset that it is wrong to have hope, and I believe it is easier to truly be "hopeful", in small doses!

jackpot...welcome....I'm thinking I'm going to need a translation dictionary once you and edi get going!!!!

momof2....hope it was a good day????

movie....thinking of you BIGTIME...!

good to hear from you, mo.....Hmmmm......not sure what route you were on, but very glad to hear it wasn't too bad. What the heck..Okotoks is still like Antartica!