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  • Romansma
    Romansma Member Posts: 1,515
    edited September 2013

    Love this thread.....I was just about to have a little cry and read the "over my dead body". Keep 'em coming.

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited September 2013

    Jill love the book signing.

    Cracks is that why u call u'rself cracks???

    I don't think I really say funny things, I say stupid things actually, I have no filter. I know when I had my colonoscopy I did not want to be put out, I don't like that feeling so my Dr. said OK I'll do it and it was fine, but while he was doing what he did I let gas out and said Oh I always wanted to do that to a man. see just stupid.Then of course I took the pics and send some out as Christmas cards and said Oh wholy nite--I have no idea if anyone got that. so I' just do stupid stuff.

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  • raro
    raro Member Posts: 1,092
    edited September 2013

    I know this is slightly off topic, but since we're talking dark humor...

    My dear friend is in her late 50s and has not dated in about 20 years. She has a very sarcastic, dark sense of humor. Well, she went to the gynecologist and when he started the exam, she commented, "Just clear out all the cobwebs while you're down there, okay?" She said he turned bright red and began stammering. He had always "gotten" her sense of humor so it surprised her that he got all embarrassed by her comment. But it gave me a laugh for the day.

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  • aaoaao
    aaoaao Member Posts: 593
    edited September 2013

    Gritgirl and hope10.. thanks!  I am glad I made you laugh.  We need to laugh to get through this.  I'm usually very polite and put up with a lot but if they keep pressing my buttons I just have to zing them.

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  • cracks
    cracks Member Posts: 6
    edited September 2013

    Cracks is my nick name from childhood....from Jacky. Its funny to hear my adult, professional nephew call me Aunt Cracks.



    Years ago right after my first dx, I had tried out for roller derby. I severely tore my hamstring which left bad bruises down my leg. Because of the weak hamstring, I slipped and broke my knee cap on the other leg, requiring a full length cast. This was only a month or so after the groin graft for my nipples.....



    So here I had a cast, huge bruises down the back of the other leg and long scars in my groin. I joked to my female gyn..."isn't this the ugliest pu$$y you've ever seen?" She didnt miss a beat, "I've seen better!!!"

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  • aaoaao
    aaoaao Member Posts: 593
    edited September 2013

    Wow cracks..that you can joke at a time like that.  I love it and your gyno reply was hilarious.

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  • cracks
    cracks Member Posts: 6
    edited September 2013

    Another saying I used to use alot "I'll sleep when I'm dead"...sorta takes on new meaning.

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  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 2,785
    edited September 2013

    You go Cracks!

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  • AmyJM
    AmyJM Member Posts: 665
    edited September 2013

    Jill, it sounds like you've done quite a few events for your book (readings/signings/etc).  44 is a pretty good sized group!  I'm glad you're enjoying it!

    This is a fun thread - some great come-backs, everyone!

    Amy

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited September 2013

    Oh Cracks I like that, of course I took u'r name to a whole different level., but that's good. U poor thing going thru all of that t one time yet.

    Please excuse my awful typing I am a horrible typist even tho I've done it for yrs. I worked for the state and I don't think anyone moticed or read anything I wrote so it just got worse so Stte worker+typing=who cares. So try to put the rite letters in u'r mind.

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  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited September 2013

    Cracks - wonderful line.

    One I stole from someplace else today   "My oncologist does my hair"  

    Be well

    Nel

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  • amontro
    amontro Member Posts: 504
    edited September 2013

    Jill, your comment at your book signing reminds me of last year when my adult children threw me a surprise 70th  birthday party.  There were so many relatives, some I haven't seen in ages, and I thought "Gee, now I know who's going to show up at my funeral".

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  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited November 2013


    And to add to the list. I am moving at the end of the month, house sold, moving to a condo with my kids. Various reasons. Today during the home inspection the inspector says, the hot water heater is relatively new and probably has a life expectancy of another 10 years or so. My response, good lord it has a longer life expectancy than I do. Look on the home inspector's face.....PRICELESS!


    Cuz I just had to say!


    Be well


    Nel

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  • LizLemon
    LizLemon Member Posts: 540
    edited November 2013


    Oh please keep this thread up! Cracks, I love the gyn story! Awesome! Could you imagine a stand up comedienne with cancer? I'd go - and I wouldn't be offended a bit!

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  • MRSROCKYTOP55
    MRSROCKYTOP55 Member Posts: 403
    edited November 2013


    All I can say is, I LOVE IT ALL. I too have a crazy sense of humor. Some times you just have to laugh and this is a good place to do it. Keep em coming. Blessings all, Kathy

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  • Jill49
    Jill49 Member Posts: 494
    edited November 2013


    Thanks for the laughs, ladies. I also find humor so important - it helps me stay afloat when I start to sink. I am careful with my husband and sons - they can't quite find the humor in this.


    I often respond to friends who ask how I am with "well, I woke up this morning, so it's a good day". I have occasionally made my onc a bit uncomfortable with my jokes about dying. I can tell he wants to laugh, and he gets as far as a smile, but is squirming a bit about laughing with a cancer patient.


    Surly, I love your excuse for not flossing and how great that your hygienist could share a laugh with you. And Butterfly, I'm with you. I'd rather die laughing than crying.

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  • ibcmets
    ibcmets Member Posts: 4,286
    edited November 2013


    Nel,


    Love that song as well. I also think about it in terms of dying and not breaking up with someone. We at stage IV, certainly do have a different perspective on things. Love your wit.


    Terri

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  • Romansma
    Romansma Member Posts: 1,515
    edited November 2013


    I told my husband we should play that song at our vow renewal reception......we laughed but decided our friends and family might not find it as funny as we do.

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  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited November 2013


    Ongoing house being sold and moving stories. Mortgage broker tells me I can't get a 5 year adjustable mortgage, they are concerned that I would have trouble with the new rate/payment 6 years out. But I do qualify for the 30 year fixed rate. Really I say to the broker, I am stage 4 and may not be alive in 5 years. I do not need a 30 year mortgage and I am 60! Broker response- awkward laugh. I should just not talk sometimes. But I laughed!


    Nel

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  • MRSROCKYTOP55
    MRSROCKYTOP55 Member Posts: 403
    edited November 2013


    For years I have been saying to my husband, we have more time than money. The other day, I said we have more money than time, he didn't think it was funny, but I did!! They just don't have our sense of humor, Blessing all. Kathy

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  • JillThut
    JillThut Member Posts: 1,470
    edited November 2013


    I said to my son the other day, I don't remember regarding what, "I'd stake my life on it," to which he replied, "That's easy for you to say."

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited November 2013

    Hahahhahha U'r son is hysterical.

    Loved the mortgage one and yea more money. hahahhaha

    When anything new comes in I enjoy them--Mine is always off color way off, so I don't contribute much,

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  • raro
    raro Member Posts: 1,092
    edited November 2013


    The other day I saw a new little baby, and without thinking I told her mom, "Wow, she has more hair than I do!" Mom was not amused. Sigh...


    Jill, that's too bad about your onc not knowing how to laugh about dark issues. I guess they're taught, like all doctors, that a death means they have failed. I just don't see it that way. I still remember a while back when someone I didn't know on these boards died, and her husband posted that she had "finally won her battle with breast cancer." I LOVED that way of thinking!


    My onc loves the T shirts that his patients wear. His favorite is "Save the tatas!" My favorite is "Yes, they're fake; my real ones tried to kill me." But I don't know if I would have the guts to wear it anywhere...

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  • Mompsych
    Mompsych Member Posts: 516
    edited November 2013


    ok, hope you won't be too offending by this one....


    My very crazy hostile mother-in-law is 96 years old. My friend promised me that if things were looking very dire for me, he would get some boys in Brooklyn to "take care of things" so she would go first. It made my day!

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited November 2013


    Hahahhahahahahahha, omg, I TOTALLY love that , Mompsych, because my MIL is in her 80s, and while I have a friendly truce with her, there are times when I half jokingly tell myself, "I better outlive her!"

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  • MaraUK
    MaraUK Member Posts: 147
    edited November 2013


    Hi Mompysch just loved that mil is 86 has been dying with every illness during the 42 years we have been married.the way things are going she probably will outlive me,my poor hubby.


    Mara x

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  • MaryLW
    MaryLW Member Posts: 2,172
    edited November 2013


    MomPsych, that's great! 96--good grief!

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  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited November 2013

    MomPsych---beautiful

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  • QueenOfHope
    QueenOfHope Member Posts: 61
    edited November 2013


    I'll preface this by saying I've never been a germaphobe.


    I know I can make my friends laugh every I drop an M&M on the floor, when I say, after blowing on it and then popping it in my mouth, "How bad can it be? I already have cancer. What's a few floor germs?!"

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  • Mzmerz
    Mzmerz Member Posts: 1,054
    edited January 2015


    My kids and I were talking about my donating my body to science when I am done with it. After a year, they send your ashes back to your family. I had looked at Urns and apparently they have 6 packs of Keepsake Urns, I guess so everyone can have some of Mom. (CREEPY). My kids have inherited my sarcasm, and I told them I don't care if they keep me in a ziplock or bury it in the back yard by the dog, cats and chickens. My 19 year old says, but I want to take your ashes to Disneyland, since it's the happiest place on earth (Don't think they would allow that lol). Then he says, We should go on Space Mountain and I can release your ashes in the ride. I want to ride in the front and when the ride gets done, I can say, oh sorry, did my Mom get in your eye? He's a brat. We also talked about how some people take their loved one's ashes and make them into diamonds. He was saying, Let's make one for dad, and then when people ask him if he's married, he can show his ring and say, Yes, here's my wife.


    I think I do make people uncomfortable with my dark humor, but if I don't make light of it, it will weigh too heavy and I might get to a place I won't get out of.

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