Cytoxan Taxotere Chemo Ladies- February/March 2013

Audra, I have some dark dreams too -- seems to happen most as I am coming off the steroids and Ativan...about day 4-5. The detail in the dreams is vivid and when I wake I feel it is still happening. Last night I was up a lot using the bathroom and dreamt all the toilets in the house overflowed. So real that my first thought on waking was that I don't feel up to cleaning up the mess! Lol! Even though a couple hours have passed I am left with an emotional response to the dream. Weird. I just keep reminding myself it is all temporary.

Audra, I had those too at the beginning of the chemo. I made the mistake of reading other threads and found some negative stuff. Medicine has evolved and I know so many people now that are survivors that I decided to stick to the positive comments and information I find. Try to read about survivors and if you talk to your friends or family tell them to tell you stories about people they know who has survived cancer. You will find that everybody know somebody. It woks for me.

I start chemo tomorrow and although I have tried to avoid taking anti anxiety meds all along I told myself that I can go for it during chemo and I started today. I was worried about the steroids that I had to start today and so I took a clonazepam before it and I feel pretty relaxed. I intend to use ativan as needed too. It is stressful enough that I am ok getting a bit of help from my friend ativan. I think we are all being traumatized and should get through this any way we can. xoxo

Although I love to hear the positive stories I find I learn a lot from the negative ones as well. I love that women come here to let us know they are having a horrible day and then a few days later they are back and feeling better. It helped me to not be so much of an 'all or nothing' thinker.

When someone is having a horrible time of it I wait for them to come back and am so relieved when they work through it because it inspires me to know that horrible days happen and can be got through. It is so nice to have a balance here. Listening to true recounts of how it really is has made me stronger and hearing about the ones who sail through inspire as well and give hope. We really are strong aren't we? :-)

Wrenn -- good luck tomorrow. I know that you are ready, you are strong, and we are in your pockets with you all the way!! ((Hugs))

Wrenn-

Good luck tomorrow, it will be less anxiety causing than you think and the Ativan pre infusion really helped me, I was singing to myself and my husband had to tell me quiet down as I was singing louder than I thought! And I was scared to death when we went in!

Thank you EVERYONE!!! For the ideas and comments on those bad dreams. I am a Christian and true believer and it's hard for me to have these 'dark' thoughts and ideas as I know I will be O.K. - just such convincing horrid dreams...it is good to know everyone has those too.

Kbee- I have a 'command center' too = funny!!! Our couch has recliners and I have all of my books and all right by it too! Hoping you get a bit better daily and your flu like pain is gone soon! This is YOUR LAST!!! That HAS to be a GREAT feeling!

I was in great shape before the mastectomy and all and now I am just able to shower and walk around a little and then back to the couch...hoping to gain some energy...but my white count was very low and just happy to feel not flu like deathly ill now. Amazing what little endurance/energy I have. Trying to deal with that is hard too...But I am getting some patience hopefully...

Bless you all ! I just LOVE having this group and we are STRONG! And getting stronger!

Wrenn, so glad you're finally getting to chemo! You're a few weeks behind me in diagnosis and surgery, and only two behind me for chemo. Yay! It sounds weird to be happy to start chemo, but only those of us who were denied it from complications understand the relief to finally start. Wishing you an uneventful course of treatment.

Hello to everyone on this thread. I found this wonderful site sometime before my first TC treatment in late October; and have been searching it for answers to my specific questions ever since. And then I decided the thread was so wonderful that I should read all 1,637 posts, which brings me to today.

I was diagnosed in late August after my PC doctor found a small thickening at the far left margin of my left breast. It didn't show up on the mammogram -- too close to the edge of the breast -- but ultrasound confirmed its reality. After several overly optimistic predictions about its nature, the pathology reports and PET scan proved it to be Stage IIIC IDC E+/P+/HER2- with 11/13+ nodes. The most scary part of my story is that even after I knew exactly where the 2.6 cm lump was, I could barely feel it myself. I thank God every day for my PC doctor's expert fingers -- without her skill, things would be so much worse.

Given my age (66) and diagnosis, I was eligible for the phase 3 clinical trial comparing standard AC/T treatments with 6xTC. As a retired college biology professor, research is up my alley -- and aren't we all profoundly grateful for every brave clinical trial participant of the past?? -- so here I am on day 7 of my second of six TC treatments.

My SEs -- so far -- have been mainly muscle ache/fatigue from day 3, peaking at about day 7, and (after chemo #1) slowly getting better and better. It's about the intensity you'd expect after raking leaves all day yesterday and everyday, but without the satisfaction of a nice neat lawn. Some nausea, which I can control (so far) by eating smaller meals and taking an occasional compazine or ativan. And of course hair loss, the outward sign of illness for most of us. But by and large, I think I've gotten off pretty easy so far!

This post is already too long, so I'll just end with a HUGE THANK YOU to all of you -- you have already made this unexpected journey easier for me and my husband.

Fondly, Sue

Hi Nicole. I have to be there at 10:45 but have no idea for how long. I booked a volunteer ride and am to call them whenever imam finished. I assume the first treatment takes a bit longer. What time will you be there?

Also, do you know of a place to get hats or scarves? I live in Kits and use transit mostly.

ok will do. If i forget in my sleep deprived stupor i am mostly grey, rotund . With a purple cane. You will recognize me by my white nuckles. I will check for the box of hats on my way out. Thanks so much. Hope to meet you.

I've got a couple questions: 1) I recurrently smell something that is similar to burnt hair. Either it's me, or I've REALLY got to get the dogs washed. Anyone else get smells? 2) I'm nearing the end of week 2. I have no nausea, but my appetite is really bad. Yesterday I only ate 2 meals, no snacks at all, and merely picked at my food. Even the food that tasted good. I'm reading about people GAINING weight, and here I've lost 4 in the last week. Sure, I've been sick with an infection, but...Anyone else?

Pat: Smells did bother me. I had a problem w/them lingering in the house after cooking. I ate very little on Taxotere/Carboplatin. By the end of the 6 tx, most everything tasted like it came from the bottom of the garbage disposal. I ended up losing 50 lbs & I wasn't really overweight to start. Things don't taste as bad with Andriamycin/Cytoxan but I still have to force myself to eat.

I have no taste buds...everything tastes the same- disgusring- This is going to be some Thanksgiving......

SC, This is the one Thanksgiving I could use to put on a few pounds, and like you, I will be able to taste nothing. Maybe I will make up for it by overdosing on Christmas cookies on days when my taste buds return.

Teamkim, I hope your nausea eases.

Wrenn, How'd it go?

Sue, Welcome, I am sorry you have to be here, but you will find incredible support from these ladies. My MO was going to put me on that trial, but my tumor was a bit too small, and I had no node involvement. He put me on 6TC anyway, but when my oncotype came back low, he stopped at 4. I do plan to keep tabs on that trial. I am very interested in the results. I am kind of a research nerd anyway. I am in a different clinical trial now, so hopefully this rotten situation will contribute to science somehow.

Paralameda, Round 1 I ate just applesauce for several days. Round 2 it was yougurt. Today I ate ramen noodles. yuk. I hate Ramen noodles, but I made a trip to the store for them because I seriously could not stomach anything else. I have not noticed odd smells, but I know a few people on my September board noted that issue. I have lost a few pounds, but not too many. I try to eat a lot on days I feel good because I cannot afford to lose weight.

I am running a temp again this round, and am really frustrated by that because i was at the mo's office for a clinical trial vaccine and the nurse wanted them to see me. Theyndecided my fever was not quite high enough. I do not want to land back in the hospital again, but I feel like my doctors are not being proactive to be sure that does not happen. I am upset by this. I also am in a lot of pain. Because of my temp, I cannot take Tylenol, Advil or anything else for the taxotere pain or the neulasta pain. Sorry if I am a bit grouchy and crabby tonight. Hopefully the temp will come down tomorrow. Thankfully, I know that it is the last round, so even if I do land in the hospital, it will be for the last time. they wanted me to call tonight and go to the ER when my temp rose just a tiny bit, but if they could not bother to see me when I was there, they can wait until tomorrow. I know that is a rotten attitude. Can you tell I am frustrated?