Calling all TNs

Hi, I was going to respond to some of the new posts but other people already said what I would have. TNBC is crap but it's not the worst crap. Still, we live inside our own bodies and minds so thoughts of others' tragedies over time fade and we must deal with our current situation--be it chemo SEs, surgery recovery, fear of recurrence.

I am going for my overdo 3 month check up with a new oncologist (I did my 3 month check up with my BS and was considered "fine".) I am switching oncs because I never liked my first one's personality but he knew what he was doing medically and I needed to get on with treatment. But when I kept putting off my 3 month post treatment check up with him I knew it was time to change docs.

I technically finished all treatment April 9, 2013 with my mastectomy and reconstruction. I used to post on this board regularly but have recently been posting on a topic on the Life After Cancer forum dealing with the emotional fallout that can occur post treatment.

Heavens knows that during treatment we had so much physical stuff to deal with there just had to be times when we put some emotions on the shelf labelled "to deal with later". For me later is now. And I feel myself getting anxious about tomorrow's appointment with the new onc. Just a simple reminder that I'm not out of the woods yet. A lot of us TNBCs are aware that the 1st three years post treatment are our most vulnerable years re recurrence. Our fight against this involves diet and exercise and self-care including keeping our follow up appointments. So, although I've been lax about the diet and exercise the last few weeks that I've had a sinus infection, I am at least taking action with my follow up tomorrow.

For those going through chemo right now, realize that soon chemo will seem like a distant memory, distinct but over with. It has a finite ending to look forward to! It is important to keep that in mind when going through the worst of it. Soon you will be done with chemo!

Hugs,

Peggy

I've come so far since this photo! It was taken after 5 months of chemo and my body was so tired. But I wanted to celebrate because it was the end of that treatment. I felt the same way yesterday when I got my CT scan results!!

Went to my MO yesterday and I passed my CT with flying colors. (My sweet hubby said I studied hard, he keeps things lighthearted) Yea for me and No Evidence of Disease!!!! NED ~ just found out what that meant and happy to use it! All these terms throw me for a loop. If you go by DX date, I am a 1 yr and 9 mo's survivor!! My chest wall node and lung nodes have not grown so she is thinking they are benign. WHOOP!!

Anyway told her all about my plans to go "flat" before the end of the year (deductible is met) and as I talked her face started making all sorts of frowns and furrows. As I ended my speech she put on a smile and gently reminded me I didn't have to make such a big decision in a short amount of time. Then went over all the reasons mentally for reconstruction. She said I was young at 57 to go rest of my life without breasts. (I thanked her because I thought 57 wasn't all that young actually) Then stated nicely that my body type was like hers and with a concave chest it could look like a man with a rounded belly...and would I really be happy. I was thinking in my mind I would be flat all the way down after I lost some weight but actually my rib cage is slightly bigger on one side than the other and it's not fat.

Pooh on reality! Truth is I weigh more than I ever have and just between us I am not in marathon shape. But I can hope for energy and weight loss and a new body can't I? ...be flat and small and cute in a t-shirt.

So, hubby and I are going to ponder and visit more with those that have had mastectomies and stayed flat as well as visit with DIEP and LAT flaps. I'm going to see my BS and PS, talk with them again after the first of the year. Hubby doesn't want me to feel rushed and make a decision just because of ded and the holidays. I am fine with that.

So, I am taking a break from doctors (until January 2014) and celebrating my good report and going to dance all day today as I go about living!!

xoxo, gwenie

ps ~ I posted some of this on another forum I visit about being flat chested.

Gwenie fantastic photo, you look so happy. Dancing with you. Yep take your time and then decide what you would rather do. Your hubby is right its a big decision and you will have lots of time to make the right one for you. 57 now is young you have lots of years ahead of you yet so enjoy them.

Simplelife so glad to hear your tumour is shrinking. Great news. I had neuropathy in my fingers with taxol but its gradually getting better and hopefully yours will too.

Lookingforw good news about you scan being moved forward. Less time to stress. Keep us posted.

Yep google is a real downer for us and its better not to go on there, but easier said than done. I thought I had only about a month to live when I googled BC but I'm still around. So much of it is out of date. I learn't a lot from the ladies on this site that my oncologist and BS didn't tell me. I guess they just don't think about the little things that make such a difference to us. some of the things the ladies said gave me the hebegeebies at times but I needed to hear them so I was prepared for what was to come. They also gave me many tips that helped me enormously throughout my treatment so to me they were a godsend and I appreciated their advice. Without them I would have been lost and so afraid but they helped me all the way through.

Have a good day ladies. It's sunny but windy here in NZ but still a great day.

Hi all, Nice to see posts from everyone. I went for my pre-op yesterday, blood levels fine, slight high blood pressure (currently being treated), ekg fine. Surgery (free flap) and mastectomy (again) on December 2nd. I'm a bit apprehensive, I know this surgery is harder to recover from than my previous surgery. I can deal with the pain, I only hope i don't get cording (axillary webbing) again.

I'm on a break from Xeloda , still recovering from HFS. It scares me to know I'll be off meds for 4 weeks before surgery. My tumors were so fast growing, I can't help to think that they will grow while off chemo, even though I need to be off them for atleast 3 weeks before surgery.

Kathy, thank you for your post about the "crap shoot". All we should do is to look at this day and make the best possible choice we can with the info we have TODAY. I think no matter what we choose, we all could at one point or another look back and say "what if". But as we all know, that doesn't change where we are at today, so let it go .

Alhusband, why were you asking about NY? I'm a little north of Philadelphia, 50 minutes south of NYC. Do you need info about something?

BTW, we got a new vehicle - a Subaru Tribeca. Now to get DD to get her drivers permit. I may need a tranquilizer!!!!

Well ladies. The Surgeon's office called today with lab results after my wife's oophorectomy/hysterectomy. ALL CLEAR! Thank God. Onward goes the crazy train! Next stop...exchange surgery. Gotta love those all clears and I pray every day that everything stays clear...not only for my warrior wife Kathy...but for all of you amazing warriors!

Titan: My BS is exactly the same - very thorough breast exam, the onc or onc assistant not so much.

Slow: My BS said exactly that when I was trying to make surgical choices. All you can do is make the best decision with the information you have on hand at the time.

ALHusband - great news! Congrats to you and your wife. Keep the positive news coming!

Alhusband, congratulations to you and your wife!

Jianchi- how are you getting along after your first chemo? Hope the SEs aren't too bad!

ALhusband's wife Kathy- Woo Hoo for the all clear!!

Tiffany, my first chemo was not great. When I first arrived and the nurse come to me I couldn't help but cried, cried really hard. She asked me whether I was afraid. I said: no, I am not afraid, just sad... The SE hit me on the same day: nausea, headache, lost of appetite... Yesterday was my Day 4, finally I had some appetite. I took two different medication for nausea, neither worked great. I am just very depressed about this whole thing. Anyway, I am better now at day 5. Will take a nap soon and hopefully I will wake up having a better appetite.

Hugs to you as always!

cocker- thank you so much. Sorry to hear it was equally hard for you. I have 7 more time to go...sigh...it's really hard now the holiday season is here.

Jianchi,tell your MO about your side effects. My first chemo A/C was rough,I lost 8 lbs in 1 wk! My MO added fluids to to be given before chemo and added emend-anti nausea med to the bag. Someone on this site recommended asking for the emend-it is expensive so they sometimes don't use it right off the bat! The next 3 A/C chemos went a lot better,still lost 2 lbs a wk. But with the 4 taxol,I gained it all back,dang steroids!:(( No nausea with them,bone pain instead! Good luck!