Fall 2013 Rads

Thanks, ladies, for your encouragement. I did a lot of yoga last night and I think I'll go for a run this morning to loosen things up - it can't get much worse than yesterday, right? McKatherine - I love your song!

Even in the short time I've been going, I know what you mean about the moments when the techs are a little "vague" - yesterday I noticed they were so precise in getting me lined up and then all of a sudden one of them kind of looked at the other one and they both shrugged their shoulders, and nodded, and then they left. ??? Shoulder shrugging is not good in radiation!!

I love the McKatherine song!  I have so much to say and no time, gotta run to my appointment! But feeling f'ing (for Bounce) cheerful today thanks to you ladies! Radiance all around!!

Yay, peacestrength!! Just YAY!!!!

Good morning radiant ones!

Peacestrength, congratulations are in order. You fired up your radiator and the job is done. You have only one task left....exude as much joy, love and good health as possible. Happy healing, sweetie.

Bluebird, your machine name was the best. Bounce, I agree...gotta love the trash-talkin' truck mammas! (Not that I have ever said a naughty word, for fear of getting a case of the vapors....teehee)

Kruise, I wanted to tell you that I love your hair. (And you are so pretty). This morning, I actually had to blow dry my bird's nest and I worked like hell to have it look like yours. Not yet, but I am still working on it.

Summergal, good luck today!

Shine on, dear friends and have a restful, healing weekend.

Here's my dispatch from the radiation front: today went even worse than yesterday, if that's possible (I'm sorry to be such a Debbie Downer! It can't get much worse, so it has to get better soon!). I took some Ibuprofen ahead of time to calm down the pain in my left shoulder, did some stretching, etc., went in with a good attitude. After a few practice breaths I could actually hit the level, so they started the treatments, but I could not hold my breath at that level for long enough. The machine went on and off. On and off each time I couldn't hold my breath.

Then I noticed that when I did reach the level and hold my breath for more than a few seconds, I started to black out. My ears closed, my vision was going black, and once I swear I "left the room" - I felt like I was moving in waves, because I was passing out. After a long time of me struggling to hold my breath at that level, they completed the treatment and came in the room. We all agreed that this was just undoable and unsustainable, and that my adrenaline had allowed me to breathe to a level, during my original CT sim, that was just way above what I could do on a daily basis without passing out (and I want to add that I am in pretty good physical condition, ran 3 miles this morning, and other than BC, have no other health issues).

We then decided that I would try to do it at a much lower level of hold...and that necessitated another CT sim. I was feeling pretty light-headed (and they did offer that I come in on Monday for the additional CT, but nooooooo, Ms. "I may have breast cancer, but I can take on the world" decides to go through with it today), so I sat in the waiting room for a while and the tech brought me crackers and water. Sounds like the story gets better? Wait, it gets worse.

So, I'm feeling pretty okay and we go into the CT sim room. They finally get me all lined up and I start working on breathing to a much lower level (but still one that would have an added benefit), and then they start the scan. All's going well, I have my eyes closed for the whole thing and then.....then I feel myself starting to spin. Literally, like I was spinning. I'm trying to hold on til the end of the scan, but I'm getting sweaty and I know what's coming, "Guys? You have to get me out. Please get me out. I'm going to throw up!" And they pull me out and throw up I did. My bp was at an all-time low. That officially ended today's 2 1/2 hour session. I think my body just went through so many extremes today that it finally couldn't take any more.

So now I'm nauseated and thank God my husband will be coming home late today, so a frozen pizza will be dinner for our little one tonight. I am going to give it one more chance in the CT sim on Monday and if that doesn't work, regular radiation for me. It was funny, here I had been worried about my skin, "was I going to burn? Was my skin going to break down?" and, not that I'm minimizing the skin changes, but it turns out that would be the least of my worries compared to these past few days. While I sat in the waiting room trying to get my legs back under me, three different patients came and went for their regular radiation. I know I signed up for the gated breathing, but I'm beginning to think that the regular way would have been just fine!!!

Wishing you all a great, restful weekend! Hugs.

I just finished my first week of rads and am reading posts here and I am confused. I don't have to do any breathing, I just lay there and the machine moves around me and sometimes the table moves me. What is the difference?

JanerT....breath hold or also called gated breathing is sometimes used for left sided breast radiation. Helps to protect the heart from rads.

Hi summergal

Sorry its a hard start. I wanted to ask if you ever got the special goggles to help you see where you hit the mark? I think you said they were "sold out"!!!!

Maybe its time to demand (Bounce speak for ask very nicely but very firmly) they get you a pair INSTANTLY. Ask what exactly they are called and where you can obtain them. Volunteer to go fetch them if they are available somewhere a little ways away. When they see you seriously want them they may be motivated to get a pair. And if techies don't help ask RO.

I think with some visual aid it will give you more control.

I know that I have no sense of time in the treatment room. And my brain keeps trying to make sense and understand everything around me even though I have a severely limited range of vision because I have to lie still. So maybe the glasses will give you some control that will make things easier.

Its worth a try and they won't only benefit you they will benefit everyone else too.

Maybe some of the difficulty is also coming from the techies having to learn something new.

Do you know how long you need to hold your breath for each time or do you have to wait for techies to tell you?

Maybe some kind of song or mantra can help you keep track of time. Maybe playing a particular song/songs would help. I know on days when my techies have put music on its much easier than days when the room is just cold and silent.

All you can do is try again on Monday and hope for the best. Use the weekend to practice breathe - hold - release. Drink a bit before the treatment to get your blood pressure up and remember we are with you.

Hugs

Getting ansy and wish I could just get rads started! Have my rad consult next Thurs., then still have to do simulation, etc. Was hoping to be done by Christmas but guess we'll have to see - don't know how many I'll have. I'm 51 - do they always do fewer rads if over 50? I'd be interested in how anyone's skin did thru rads for those that had mastectomy and no reconstruction.

Hello summergirl,
I am with Bounce and have a lot of questions regarding the breathing method they are using. I am doing the gated breathing with the goggles and it has worked well. Like Bounce said, it gives you some control and something to look at. It is hard enough to deal with breast cancer and then having the treatment being an ordeal like this.

summergal,

I was hanging on your every word in your last post. When you started out by saying it went even worse than the day before, I found myself shouting at my ipad, " no...noooooo!!" I felt like I was watching a movie or reading a book I was really involved in. Well, if it is too hard to be the guinea pig next week, just do the regular rads. Someone else can be the guinea pig. Unless it is safer for you to do the gated breathing. In my case I didn't have to do it, but maybe the machine is different, or the type of rads or field locations, etc. Everyone's case is different I'm sure. Remember, we will still be in your pocket no matter what.

Rainyday,

Funny you should ask about the sleeplessness. I too have been having a terrible time sleeping lately. I feel like I am in hyperdrive or something. I feel energetic and excited, when I should be tired. It is weird, because i have hypothyroidism, so if anything, my metabolism is usually sluggish. But now I am wondering if something has changed, or if it is just rads revving up my metabolism. I thought I read someplace that it does that. If so, I wish it would help me lose some weight! But nothing yet. One can hope! But seriously, I am afraid when I start Tamoxifan next month, the insomnia will get even worse. I hope not!

70charger- some of us don't have the nipple part anymore so afraid am not chuckling

Hi Ladies - about sleep issues -

The day after my fourth treatment I got totally hyperactive and had energy to power a small city. But that soon left and the next week I had some pain which reduced my energy levels pronto. Now - (9 down) I get tired during the day (not the usual sleepy feeling - more like feeling that gravity got stronger and I can't move). I think at the beginning it is more the adrenalin that keeps you up and going than the actual effects of the radiation. I think its emotional not physical. But for anyone with health issues you should check with the doctor if its bothering you.

With Tamoxifen the first week I hardly slept. As soon as I woke up for any reason I would start thinking about Tamoxifen and treatment etc.

Then I made a deal with myself that if I woke at night I would only think about sleep related good feelings and that I would do my worrying during the day time. My sleep got much better.

I went off Tamoxifen a few days before rads and will start again afterwards. It will be interesting to see how I react the second time.

I can't imagine what it will be like to finish all treatment and stop thinking about myself and my boobies all the time. I know I'll be taking Tamoxifen but not waking up and rushing off to rads each day...... Not feeling like someone hit me in the chest ..... I can't wait.

Lanam I had a mastectomy and my skin is red but holding up pretty good. But underarm is a mess. But it took 22 treatments to start to peel. But done with underarm area now. Just the boost. Oh and I'm 58 years old and will have 30 treatments all together. I had a lot of enery at first. But this last week I lost it. So if anyone finds it give it back to me . I really need it!!!!

Summergal I really wish there was a magic pill for you to take to make it all better. Just fell so bad for you.

Hope everyone has a good healing weekend. So we can start all over again on Monday. Hugs to all.

Hi radiant people!

I'm 53 and having 33 treatments. My RO said because I had chemo she wouldn't do less as that course would involve higher doses. Also my tumor was on the left side but I am not doing gated breathing because they just began the treatment at my center the day I started and I did not want to be patient #2. I'd rather be patient #30 frankly, so I decided against it.

Summergal, so sorry this has been happening to you! Don't worry if you have to go back to 'regular' rads, I'm sure they know what they're doing with that method. And if they can get you the googles that help, press them for them! And the best to you Monday.

Dennilynn and Rainyday, we're all halfway am I right? Yay! My only effects are slight redness and a bit of soreness that just began this week. I see my RO every week and she just looks at my skin and asks if I have any questions.

Hope everyone's weekend is great. McKatherine, great song! The Brownie song, am I right?