My Mom is .....

hmphillips
hmphillips Member Posts: 20
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

dieing according to the doctor. She has had bc for 9 years and it has spread 3 times. This time it is in her liver. The doctor says she has 6 to 9 months to live. She is fine with it all. He said there was only a 30% chance the chemo would even help so she is going to do nothing. I don't know where to go or what to do. i am her only caregiver and only child. I do not expect any help from family. I am lost and don't know what to do now. Help me????

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  • jgrjunque
    jgrjunque Member Posts: 47
    edited July 2006

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. It really is her choice whether to go ahead with more treatment or not, and that makes it hard for you when your own choice might be different from hers. As far as care is concerned, please check out hospice in your area. They can help so much with someone given your Mom's prognosis.

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    Helen Marie,

    I am so sorry you and your Mother are going through this.
    Hospice is a very good organization that will help both you and your Mother, and no it is not giving up , it is choosing quality. I called them in for my grandma and I do not regret it one minute. Please come back anytime we are
    here for you and Mom to support you in this most difficult time.

    Hugs,
    Carrie
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006
    Helen,
    I agree with jrg and Carrie, hospice will help both of you right now. The liver is a tricky organ, and if it is failing that can be a clear sign. I think chemo would not make her happy right now. She can keep some strength, spend time with you and be on pain meds. I will pray for you and your mom!
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  • 73gr
    73gr Member Posts: 459
    edited July 2006
    hey!
    just a second please!
    30% response is a very good chance in chemo treatment. As i read in this site, a women must start chemo if bc goes to the liver. Why not try Doxil, it's very agressive, it remains more time inside the liver BUT without serious side effects, no hair loss, maybe hand/foot syndrome that it can be prevent prefectly applying ice packs to the wrists and ankles during the administration. My mother is on Doxil and she's tollerating very well.
    Please ask for a 2nd and 3rd oppinion by an onc specialized in bc. Go to the section dedicated in metastatic bc or in bcmets.org. You will find there many women with liver mets ho were told a prognosis of 3-6 months and to go home because they had extensive liver mets....3-4 years before. They are now celebrating life with the disease in liver under control, stable or ned and encouraging other people.
    And a personal experience. One month ago, waiting to see the onc, i meeted a women who was blaming the docs because she trusted them. Her mother had extend liver mets and the docs gaved here 3 months to live. The 3 months today are...18 months, and this women is still alive at home and has a lot of pain that chemo could manage.
    I agree that liver is a very critical organ but all should agree too that liver is the only organ who can regenerate himself. Docs are specialized, yes, but not infallible, neither prophets.
    Think twice and deeper, and a BIG hug to your mom and to you!!!!
    Lorenzo
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  • 73gr
    73gr Member Posts: 459
    edited August 2006

    Helen, how are things going?

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