DIEP 2013

My goodness, I think I have spent three hours reading, but I'm finally all caught up. To those of you that are new here, you are definitely in the right place. The ladies on this thread know where you are because amongst all of us, someone has been there. We share a bond that others fortunate not to have bc will never truly understand.

I am just short of four months post DIEP and I feel like my stamina is back. Goldie, those boys are precious! (see I was really behind)

I loved the p-ink video of the tattoos. Trying to decide if I really have the nerve for that. Jeannie, maybe we can have that done on the same day!

This may sound like a really dumb question, but what date do you celebrate as being cancer free? My BMX was on May 23rd. With no chemo or radiation, is that my cancer free date?

Love you all! ...Julie

Jlbloom, your question is something of a quandry. Even when I asked my MO, she waffled. For me, and I think for many of us, I consider my "cancerversary" to be the day I received the news that I had breast cancer, because that's the day everything got set into motion.

But I do carefully follow the date of my last cancer-killer treatment, which was Halloween 2012.

Have not been on here for quite a while, but read all the posts. Just want to say hi, and wish everybody well, in whatever stage of treatment you find yourselves in. Be kind to yourselves - we've all been to hell and back, and some of us are still there clawing their way back. Bc is NOT for cissies, and you are all so awesome, just forging ahead with your lives despite setbacks and other issues. Love you all!

Nihahi, so Jan. 8 is D-day? Good for you on getting it over and done with. I'm only seeing my PS on Jan. 2, and hopefully I can be taken care of soon after so this can just be over. I'm guessing it won't be a long story for me either.

Re: weight loss and boob size - I've lost about 13 lbs in the last 3 months, and some of my bra's are now too loose and too big. I did not have much to begin with, 34B. Have mixed feelings over this, but defo won't gain the weight back to have bigger boobs - no way. Padded bra's is always an option which I'm not unfamiliar with at all - LOL. Got me a pretty grey and silver lace padded one that is hot pink on the inside to wear to DS wedding. Who says the MOG has to be in Grandma lingerie?

Enjoy the long weekend everybody!

Marty, happy boobday! I love it! We definitely should celebrate these milestones.

I consider my cancerversary the day I was diagnosed, cancer free the day I had my BMX. Bailey, good point!!!

Janet, I seem to remember a miserable camping trip you took with all of your pillows....

I know I was amazed at how strong I was during surgeries and treatments, My faith helped. I like the "stay in the moment" advice. It also helped when a fellow bc'er suggested I look ahead a year to when I would be looking back from a different place. Of course, for me, it was more than a year but looking back now, I find myself saying, " Time really does pass and I really am moving on." You newer girls will get there! I am sending you hugs.

Lucy, I really hope your incision behaves and heals up in no time. Sending you a hug, too.

DebDylan, so good to hear you are surviving the chemo! I also remember so many of the sistas telling you, that you could do it. Now here you are encouraging others. You go girl!

hello everyone! I know I've been gone for a while, but I think if y'all often and pray for everyone of you daily.

It's going to take me a while to go back and read everything I've missed. I'm 7 months post initial surgery and doing great! My scars are starting to fade and I'm trying to decide when I want to do my tattooing. Been working for my PS for a little over a month now and I love it!!! Omg! I couldn't ask to work for anyone better than him. As my ps he was great, and as my boss, he's even better!! His staff is incredible and I enjoy being there very much. I've been learning a lot during this past month and it's just amazing what some surgeons can do. Life is good, and there's really light after the tunnel.

Before I get all caught up with the many pages I have to read, is there anything I need to know right now?

Baily, Nihahi, Janet, NYTX...and everyone else who has welcomed me...THANK YOU. Reading all of these welcomes, encouragements, and advice ...I feel like letting out a sigh of relief. That sounds odd, but I don't know how else to say it.

I am still in that place of it feeling like all of this is happening to someone else. It's odd really. Maybe I am still in denial. Maybe I am so busy tying up loose ends that I haven't had time to think. maybe that is a good thing?

We have told our children - the 5 and 8 year old. We are using the word cancer and trying to make it as unscary (is that a word?) as possible. We have told them it isn't contagious and that they did not do anything to cause it. My 8 year old is an extrovert and processes everything out loud so you usually know where you stand. However, she seems to be acting out some the closer we are getting to surgery. My 5 year old is more introverted but she seems to be asking questions here and there and we try to answer them as best we can. The 21 month old ... he may still be mad that I had to wean him :0). I usually bf until 24 months but weaned him at 20 (more abruptly than I would have liked) prior to the biopsies.

My girlfriend came over today and helped me juice. She is coming back next weekend to juice some more and pack up freezer bags of ingredients for green smoothies. I was thinking that juicing and freezing it (in breast milk bags no less) would be easy to use after surgery (even though I know freezing will cause it to lose some nutrients). My intent is to thaw, add coconut water, and protein powder then blend. My hope is that this would be a good way to fuel my body after surgery and help it heal? Any suggestions or advice on this? Any advice on the best way to stay healthy nutrition wise before and after?

I believe chemo will start 3-4 weeks after surgery but that is dependent on my wound healing - or so I think. Anyone else experience this?

I can't find the post about being a heavier woman... but thank you for your honesty. I had lost 30 pounds and was on my way to losing more when I was pleasantly surprised with baby #3 :0). I gained back the 30 and haven't been able to take it off again. I too am over 200. I was concerned about how my tummy would look since I too have the heavier areas in the upper abdomen as well.

nihahi - Thank you for telling me about your 1 1/2 year old. That was a concern of mine with my 20 month old. I am their primary caregiver and I worry how this will affect him "down the road".

One of my biggest fears is doing too much as the weeks after surgery progress. I know I will have ample help in the beginning, but my concern is that it will wain as the weeks press on and I will try to take on too much and hinder my progress...

Baily your list is awesome! Thank you. Snuggle practice is a great idea!! Not sure my 21 month old son could get it down...he is so energetic :0) and thinks I am his human jungle gym...but I am willing to try. It may help my two older ones too.

I am in Texas...I think someone asked...

Thanks everyone!

RHGSR

RHG.....I think you have a number of fellow "texans" on this thread....maybe some are even in your area, or have your docs! There certainly are some highly respected cancer centres and surgeons in Texas. I'm sure you are in good hands!!!!!!

The way you describe your feelings at the moment...sound absolutely 10000000% normal. I would wake up and think "OMG...what a horrible dream I just had"...then realize, nope, not a dream, reality. As we have said often on this thread....the hardest part is the "waiting"...once things start to happen, at least you have a target to direct your energies towards!!!!!

Although separated by many years in our journeys....you and I are rather similar. Both my children are adopted. At the time of my dx, I felt that I had adopted them with a promise to be the mother they had "lost".....and I was breaking that promise and abandoning them all over again. As I mentioned, my daughter was a very tiny preemie....at the time of my dx, she literally had just started to walk. Even with my dx, surgery, and chemo.....she still figured out how to keep at it! (insert gentle smile here, trying to ease your fears (((x))) ). As young as she was, she did get the concept of "owies".....so we went with "Mommy has a big owie", and we all got through it. My son, was 8, and like you, we used the word cancer, and explained things as we went along, as he asked questions, and, like any parent would, tried to keep things honest but positive. We also contacted his teacher at school, and she was both understanding and helpful.I started chemo, about 3 weeks after my mx....tough, of course, but, again....we got through it. Would I have loved for my children not to have this as part of their past....you bet....but, sometimes life doesn't give us those choices. The best we can do, is do the best we can. Some of the larger cancer centres may even have support programs for children of parent's dx with cancer. Wouldn't hurt to ask around. I think there are some storybooks that are good tools to read to young children to, to help explain things in "their words".

Juicing sounds like a positive thing that you can do....so why not!!! Good quality protein is a great factor in healing, so make sure that is included in whatever you are eating. There are many, varied opinions on soy (modified) products if you turn out to have an ER+ tumour, so you might want to make sure your protein powder isn't one that is consisting of modified soy protein.

As far as doing too much.....just try to respect what your body is going through, listen to your body and give it the rest it asks for. You may be surprised at how quickly you progress....you may be frustrated at how slowly you progress....we all have our individual "clocks". Just remember that every "stage" is temporary, and that forcing yourself to do things you aren't physically ready for, will not speed up the recovery process.

Sending you hugs......this is a tough road.....but you are not travelling alone...we are all with you.

I signed up with an organization called Cleaning for a Reason. They arrange for donations of FOUR months of FREE housecleaning for cancer patients in active treatment. They find local companies to do it. I had to wait several months to get it but it worked out for me since I had 7 1/2 months of treatment. It was wonderful! You can find them online at cleaningforareason.org

RHSGR - You said that your biggest fear is trying to do to much post surgery? Well, I think that's sort of a rite of passage. Seems that most ladies try to do too much - that's just our nature. But your body will send you gently (hopefully) reminders that it's not ready for it's normal routine. And you'll need lots of rest, and there will things that you physically will just not be able to accomplish. I pushed it too hard a few days - but immediately retreated. It's a marathon, not a sprint. And as Marty has pointed out on several occasions it's a very deep healing, and you must respect the process.

I think your smoothie idea is fabulous. Pack your body full of protein! Do you like coconut water on it's own? I find it a bit disgusting but I drank a ton of it during chemo. Bailey's list probably mentioned straws, but just in case it didn't - bendy straws are pretty handy during recovery. I stole a few from the hospital to tide me over....

Kuka - I can't believe it's been seven months since your surgery! Feels like just a few weeks ago that I was reading about you walking around with T-rex arms. I'm so glad to hear that you're happy.

I consider myself cancer free the day my surgeon walked into the examining room, and without saying a word, handed me the pathology report and pointed to where it said 'No signs of cancer'. (However - I can't remember what day it was so I just celebrate whenever I fell like it)

Lucy - get a panty girdle. More supportive than the granny panties and better at holding things in place.

Kuka - welcome back. So glad you are doing well. Check out Nihahi's new thread "After the Flap". A good place to hang out.

Rhgsr, so sorry you are going through this, but welcome. I guess you have already noticed you will get a wealth of info here. There are so many women here who have been through it, and willing to share their experiences, and knowledge. Remember, nothing is too trivial to ask about. Where in Texas are you? I am in DFW area.

Lucy, I don't know if you are near a Costco, but they have a 3pack of high waisted "compression" panties that are really panties with slight compression over tummy area. I think they would work for your needs. I use to wear them to work, and I would buy one size larger than I usually would for comfort. I am glad you feel your tummy is better!!!

Bailey, what a wonderful, empowering post! Yay, Bailey, for the "be a blessing" concept!

Right after my DIEP my neighbor came over and asked, "is there something I can do?" I'm still kicking myself for saying no thanks, we're doing ok. I should have allowed her the blessing of helping in some way. Walk the dogs, they're tired of sitting here with me. Cut up the veggies for salad tonight. ANYTHING.

RHGSR, welcome. Since you're at the end of the year, you get to benefit from all our experiences, good, bad, and ugly! We're all here for you, and will be standing silently but cheering you on in the OR when you have your DIEP.

11/12/13 mammalou (Stage 2)

11/13/13 mstinpv (Diep) Des Moines, IA

This weeks ladies......safe surgeries and gentle healing.

Marty J thanks! I'll be going there to check it out!!

RHG, I'm in the Dallas, Fort Worth area if you need anything. Let me know;)

Goldie, when is your surgery again? I know it's coming up but I can't remember the date