ILC Survivor - Now Partner is Sick

Butterflylady2012
Butterflylady2012 Member Posts: 187
edited June 2014 in ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)


I did not know the appropriate place to post this so here is goes. I was dx with ILC in April 2012. After 3 surgeries and five weeks of radiation and one and a half years later I am doing fine....but now my dear partner Scott was diagnosed with Stave IV rectal cancer, which is in his liver too. I am posting on a cancer forum for colon cancers to get support.


We get through my cancer with his love and support and now I am on the other side of it and I HATE IT!! Yes, I will be with him every step of the way as he was with me, but It is so scary to see someone you love in pain and struggling so much and with a worse diagnosis. I know there are choices and treatment plans for Stage IV, but hearing Stage IV is never a happy thing.


I am trying to take care of myself, but finding I am not eating as well and of course the stress is very high. I am on leave from work for the rest of the year to be with Scott, but my job is ending in January so that's it for my time there. Scott started Chemo yesterday and we are just taking everything one step at a time. He is a very level headed, focused kinda guy (engineer), so even though I know he is frightened, he is keeping himself pretty calm. But being a cancer survivor, I know the emotions he is going through, even though I did not have to go through chemo in my situation.


I just need to post this, because it is so hard to believe that after my cancer diagnosis and being a year and a half cancer free, I am now seeing my love dealing with an uncertain future. We will face it together, but I am frightened and trying to keep myself together for him and for myself....we both know cancer by name now.


Thanks for listening to my story...


Sharon

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2013


    Sharon,


    I am feeling your pain and fear. Years ago my husband was dx with oral cancer, and then 16 years later I'm dx with breast cancer. I've been both the caregiver and the receiver. I'm so sorry you have to go through this crappy cancer thing again. I know it isn't the same cancer, but my good friend was dx 10 years ago with stage IV ovarian cancer and survived it....twice. She got a bone marrow transplant the second time around and 4 years now, she's doing wonderfully.


    Keep posting...we care.


    Hugs

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • wallycat
    wallycat Member Posts: 3,227
    edited November 2013


    Oh dear.


    I am so sorry you both are dealing with STUPID CANCER.


    Keeping you in my thoughts.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited November 2013


    I am sorry to hear this. One thing everyone here knows for sure is how much cancer sucks. Good thoughts for Scott as he goes through chemo.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited November 2013


    Butterfly


    I can relate. In Jan of this year I was diagnosed with IDC stage 2a. Two months later my husband wad diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. We have two kids aged 10 an 14. We both did chemo at the same time and I have completed my treatments and am doing well. My hubby has competed 11 of 12 chemos. When they did his colon surgery they took out his liver to look at it and found a 8 mm spot. It was also in 1 lymph node. As the spread was so little he was a good candidate for a liver resection but he has had 4 different scans since finding the liver lesion and he is completely clear! They are now saving the surgery for when/if it comes back. I am telling you all this as there is so much hope for colon cancer ! It is so different than breast! I hope your partner is ok and has been given lots of options like my husband. Please free to pm me if you need to talk more! My name is also Sharon. Take care

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • flutterbye
    flutterbye Member Posts: 14
    edited November 2013


    Dear Sharon


    I am newly diagnosed with ILC and getting ready for my second surgery...after the first surgery (double mastectomy) the news only got worse...


    I can not imagine what you and Scott are feeling right now...I am trying to come to grips with and deal with the diagnosis and everything coming and I feel so different than I did prior to August 26th. How do you handle back to back cancers? My heart feels for both of you...I wish I had words that would matter but I am not sure there are any.


    Your in my thoughts and prayers...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Butterflylady2012
    Butterflylady2012 Member Posts: 187
    edited November 2013


    ARGH! I just posted a few paragraphs and it didn't post..


    Okay here goes again. Thank you all for your kind and caring words. Yes wallycat, cancer is STUPID, it's crazy, it's scary and it blew us both over when the doctor told us..and our house was just robbed about 2 1/2 months ago. Insanity is all I can say...


    Shoppygirl, I thank you for offering your ear and support. You will probably be hearing from me...I'm so sorry for what you both have had to go through, but so happy to hear that his scans were clear. Such wonderful news!! I only pray that Scott's is the same but I am scared...Scott's situation is an aggressive large tumor, 15 CM...already spread, many lesions in his liver....the doctor's couldn't wait and do chemo first, they had to do surgery and the colostomy because it's growing so fast...but all I can say is that we are going to do whatever we have to do to have a positive outcome. The chemo and other treatments have to work! I am going to take him wherever I have to, Scott is only 49, too young ...he is the most amazing man I have ever met.


    Scott's mother is staying with us for a little while and is helping a great deal. Monday I am meeting a dear friend at Starbucks....I need some release, some connection..


    And even though I was at low risk of my cancer reoccurring I'm scared of my cancer coming back. I can't eat crap because I'm stressed, but that is a lot of what I am doing. Before I was doing pretty good....I need to get back to that and I will. All I can do I think is take it one day, one moment at a time...and pray for Scott, for me...


    Thank you all for listening, I have people who understand the fear on both sides...


    Hugs to you all and thank you for being there for me...


    Sharon

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ruthie1967
    ruthie1967 Member Posts: 16
    edited November 2013


    Hi Sharon, I cant believe what you've both been dealt with. its a double whammy. Its such a shock for you both! Having Scotts mum there for a time will be a huge support for you.


    Some mum nurturing might just give you the breather you also need to gather your strength around you. All the best for this difficult time..

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited November 2013


    Sharon


    So glad that you have some support from Scott's mom and your friends.


    My husband is also young, 42 when diagnosed. He had surgery first and they removed an 8 cm tumor but he did not need a Colostomy bag as the tumor was high up in the colon. The chemo they give for colon cancer is very effective. We have met many stage 4 colon cancer survivors that have had several lesions to the liver and the chemo shrunk them down enough so that they could do a liver resection. Scott will get through this!! The biggest issue my hubby has had with the chemo is some nausea for the first few days after and neuropathy in his hands and feet. He still continues to travel for work.


    I know what you mean about the eating, I do the same thing! That and shopping! I am working in trying to control myself! Lol!!


    I am sending my thoughts and prayers for both if you! Hugs!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lisa137
    lisa137 Member Posts: 569
    edited November 2013


    It sounds trite, because it gets said so much I guess, but truly and sincerely, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Take heart though; what the others have told you is true. I think most of us grew up in an age when "cancer" was too often synonymous with "death," and it can be hard to really make our minds understand that that has changed, and is changing even more each day with new discoveries, advances, drugs, etc. You've already gone down a hard road with your own cancer, and now you are facing another hard road...but remember that just because it's a HARD road, does NOT mean that it's also a SHORT road. You'll both get through this, you can both do it, and then be tough and ready for whatever life decides to throw at you next. Believe it.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories