Going straight for chemo

jajjaaj
jajjaaj Member Posts: 60
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment


I was diagnosed with IDC grade 3 of 3. My treatment plan was going to start with surgery, then chemo and radiation. Because a biopsy on the nodes had not been performed, the surgeon had me go in for another biopsy to check those. They came back positive for cancer. So rather than have surgery tomorrow to remove the tumor, Surgeon implanting a port instead to start chemo.


Maybe I am strange, but truly not worried about the whole process. I have some amazing doctors that are highly respected in the field and have a pretty healthy knowledge of cancer... but my grown children and my friends are all besides themselves. I know I am so very blessed to have such a full life with such amazing people, but feeling overwhelmed by all the sadness and crying. Honestly wish I could do something, anything to make it better for them, but I have no idea what to do. I keep telling them that breast cancer research and treatment has improved over the years and my survival rate is awesome in comparison to other cancers. I know as one on the outside the feeling of helplessness, just not sure what I can do on this side of the fence. Now I am rambling...

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  • MsPharoah
    MsPharoah Member Posts: 1,034
    edited November 2013


    Hi jajjaaj. I have had the same experience you are having. I am sure that you are a beloved mother and this news is quite devastating to your children. I didn't tell a lot of my friends and coworkers because it takes so much energy to comfort others and keep them informed and I just didn't have enough to go around. (Sigh)


    The thing you can do for your grown children is keep them informed about tests, results and educate them about breast cancer treatment. My children were involved in the decisions about treatment or at least understood the science associated and approved every step of the way. Both my dear children were a comfort to me during treatment and still today, encourage me and tell me how awesome I am! LOL. One thing that I do is constantly acknowledge my husband and the great care he gives me. Knowing their beloved father is caring for their beloved mother is a source of comfort to them. I wish you well. I wish comfort to your family.


    MsP

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  • NorthwindsGS
    NorthwindsGS Member Posts: 128
    edited November 2013


    I am in the same boat as you ladies are. Tomorrow port placement and Chemo starts Monday. Mound out today my Sentianl Lymph Node showed cancer. My husband, mother, co workers and friends are having a hard time with my diagnose of cancer. I find myself being strong for them, making jokes and trying to lighten things up some. At times i just want to cry when i see how hard this is on my hubby, it breaks my heart to see him worry so. Hs has been babying me and wont let me out of his sight.My children, 24 and 17 seem to be handling it better than others.


    So far I have been feeling strong and ready to fight this with everything I have. Learning today of the Lymph Node involvement was a set back for me however I am so lucky to have trust in my oncologist and surgeon. Also have a wonderful support group at our medical clinic. Wish I could install that same feeling in my family and friends........

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  • jajjaaj
    jajjaaj Member Posts: 60
    edited November 2013


    MsPharoh, Thank you for your kind words. I have kept my news to include my 4 children and step-daughter, mom and other family members. I cannot believe the amount of people I know, but have shared only with very close and longtime friends. My girlfriends have been absolutely amazing... I just don't what I would do without them. Unfortunately, my children have experienced cancer. I lost my 21-year old daughter to Pancreatic Cancer and we just passed her anniversary a few days ago. My hubby barely made it through with Esophageal cancer. For them, the 'C' word is very ugly and cruel. I have been giving them all the positive info and technical info, but they aren't biting. Yesterday, my hubby vacuumed the floors. I almost went into shock mode. Housework is primarily my duty. I actually like the feeling of a clean house and prefer to do it, but seeing him vacuum because he wanted to make me happy made me cry. Just love that man.


    NorthwindsGS, Like you, trying to be strong for others with joking and keeping conversation light. My youngest was not impressed. She is 20-years old and responded with a stern look, "Mother, I am not laughing." I have to admit, keeping everybody happy is exhausting. Thinking we need to drag our family to those meetings? It might help them understand, without a biased view, just what is going on.


    How did your port surgery go? I had mine yesterday and feeling pretty darn sore. I call it my new 'bling'. LOL

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  • aaoaao
    aaoaao Member Posts: 593
    edited November 2013


    That is why this site is so vital to us. We get useful info and a place to scream, cry and vent. People here understand and don't get over-whelmed by our emotions in the way that a family member or friend would. I hope the best for all of you.

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  • jajjaaj
    jajjaaj Member Posts: 60
    edited January 2014

    aaoaao, Not that I think this club should exist, but it sure is nice to meet gals in our boat. Less lonely for sure.

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