Survivorship harder than treatment?

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alcb70
alcb70 Member Posts: 166
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts


I'm finding that since being back in "the real world" I'm having more issues with depression, feeling overwhelmed, and crying over little things or even nothing. I feel like everyone expects me to be "over" BC like it was a cold or something. Back to work, grocery shopping, chores....being the "old me" again. Only I don't feel like the old me. I feel vulnerable, forgetful, slow and out of it at work. At home, I see all the things that need to be done, and the energy I (still) don't have to do it. All the while I feel like time is ticking away and I should be living life to the fullest "just in case" it comes back. This just makes me depressed, and the more depressed I am, the more time I feel like I'm wasting. I think it's part of that guilt some have commented on.....if we aren't smiling,being positive every minute of the day, working, running marathons and cleaning house all at the same time.....then we aren't as "strong" as the women portrayed in the fluffy ads we see. I think the biggest person putting expectations on me.... is me! I don't recognize myself anymore. It's scary to not know yourself, or where you fit in anymore. How long does this feeling last? Is there anything to help me get through it (besides the obvious therapy)?

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  • mrenee68
    mrenee68 Member Posts: 383
    edited November 2013


    I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I think the biggest help is going to be time. I just feel so overwhelmed all the time. My husband had training at work this week, so I was in charge of homework with my son, cooking dinner, all after working my 10 hour day. I agree that I am still putting too many expectations on myself, my husband says I need to stop beating myself up. I just feel like I need to be over all of this, but I can't seem to get ahold of this new me and this new life. I know I haven't been much help just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Take care! ((Hugs))

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  • SelenaWolf
    SelenaWolf Member Posts: 1,724
    edited November 2013

    Oh, yes.  "Survivorship" was so much harder for me than treatment.  It took much longer for me to recover the emotional toll that cancer caused than the physical one.  It was a real schizophrenic feeling: physically I looked and felt good; emotionally I was a mess.  As I told my husband one day: it took me a year to deal with the physical issues of cancer, it took another year to deal with the emotional fall-out.  Now, over two years' out, I finally feel like I'm my old self again, moving forward with confidence.

    Give yourself time.  And if the depression starts to really interfere with your quality-of-life, please don't hesitate to see your doctor for some help.

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  • denilynne
    denilynne Member Posts: 102
    edited November 2013

    I have been sad, depressed and lots of anxiety since I was first diagnosed. I am normally a very sunny person whose cup is always half full. Always smiling. Now, I can't get rid of these 'down' feelings. My husband has been very patient but now, it's getting to him. No matter how many people tell me how lucky I am, it's still doesn't change my sad, angry, depressed, waiting for the other shoe to drop attitude. It's probably time for me to call the PsychOncology dept and make an appointment. I hate all this, just hate it..... Scared


     

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  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited November 2013


    alcb, survivorship is quite a journey. During treatment we have definite goals (surgery, chemo, rads, hormonals) and markers when we are finished with each phase. I have heard many women on this board talk about the difficult period after treatment ends. Stanford University in California has been having conferences totally devoted to Survivorship--when I heard that I thought well finally someone is paying attention.


    One of the things that helped me in my transition was a cancer support group which was part of my hospital's treatment program. The leader of the group was a Phd and also a breast cancer survivor. It really helped to be around other women on the same journey. We would meet once a week.


    We are different after having gone through cancer. I experienced a lot of loss during that treatment year but I am now on the other side. It took me quite a while but that doesn't mean it will take you quite a while. I am happy and peaceful in my life now--I could never say that before. It was hard getting there but so worth while now.


    Thanks for your post--I know it will help other women.

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