Starting Chemo July 2013

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  • 2bluestars
    2bluestars Member Posts: 89
    edited November 2013


    Congrats Rambo and Soriya! Happy for you both!

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited November 2013

    Thank you ladies, feel so sick right now.  no appetite n so tired.  this is the first year that i didnt take my kids out to trick or treat, i feel so sad. But at least they had fun out there with their aunties and cousins.  Happy halloween ladies!!!

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited November 2013


    Hi All,Sorry Soriya you're not feeling well,next halloween you will dress up as a superhero(because that's what you are).Anyones hair starting to grow back?I have some weird stubble growing only in a strip on the very top of my head,no where else.It's very dark and really freaking me out. It's not red at all and very patchy,yuck! Hugs Angela

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited November 2013

    Thanks AngelaNature,  no my hair didnt grow back yet, I hope soon :)

  • Rambo50
    Rambo50 Member Posts: 140
    edited November 2013


    Thanks for the congrats!!! My hubby, son, daughter, and mom were ALL there!!! Special end to a grueling process - got a nice certificate and lovely bracelet from the chemo suite nurses <3


    Sitting here now enduring the LAST of the yucky chemo SEs :):):)


    Like you, Soriya, I didn't feel up to doing anything Halloweeny (no kids at home for me, but had planned to sit on the front step with my puppy dressed up like a taco!) - hubby stepped in instead and puppy kept me company on the couch!


    HannaRiggs - LOVE the Chia pet thing :) I went in for my post-chemo nasty Neulasta shot yesterday and took the chemo suite nurses some "mammo grahams"


    image


    Even though I won't EVER be having one again ;) They LOVED them!!!


    TwoHobbies - praying for a negative scan!!!


    JeriGrace - my pharmacy called to let me know my AI meds were in - don't know which it is, but having done some more reading I'm concerned. AIs seem to cause more issues with osteoporosis than Tamoxifen. I've got osteo in both hips, my lumbar spine, and my left ankle - thanks to long undiagnosed celiac disease. I'm supposed to go on Prolia for the op at some point - hope that will counteract the AI... TOO MUCH!!! I just want to be DONE and normal again (sigh) - happy for what I've accomplished though ;)


    Sue - went for my l-sleeve fitting yesterday; ordering a night garment too per my PT (???) - not sure I'll be able to handle that... But I'll give it a big girl try!


    Don't know if I shared that I asked my MO about scans - am still scared about bone mets, but he said unless I'm symptomatic the radiation from a CT would outweigh the benefits at this point. Will see him again in January. They will run path reports on my other breast and ovaries when they're removed in December.


    To those of you waiting for the end - it DOES finally come!!! Hang in there - you are ALL strong and beautiful :):):)


    Happy almost weekend ladies!!!


    Hugs,


    Lynn

  • Girlstrong
    Girlstrong Member Posts: 438
    edited November 2013

    Hello my BC sisters :)  I am catching up with you all and nearing the end of chemo too.  I just had my 5th infusion today and have 2 more left!!!  I am supposed to have my last chemo on December 12th (the same day as my youngest and oldest sons' Christmas program...wish me luck that I can attend).  My Christmas present will be to have a "Chemo Free Holiday".  As for my hair, it is short stubbles all over.  Not pretty at all.  Never thought I would see myself like this but here I am...sigh....Can't wait for my New Year 2014 resolution to grow hair!!  I still have my eyebrows and so I am grateful.  My lashes are skimpy and so I stopped wearing mascara weeks ago. 

    Keep the faith, stay strong..Next year this time we will all be in a better place I am sure.  Although we all have bad days, try to remember all of the blessing that you still have around you.  Our lives are a blessing.  Stay focused on this course we have been given and set your sights high. 

    Blessings to you all, get your needed rest (I am super tired these days) and enjoy your weekend.  Hugs--:)

     

    PS: One of my best friends and her family are coming to visit me tomorrow.  They live in another city and so haven't seen me since my diagnoses.  I am a little nervous.  Wig....feeling tired....skimpy eyelashes....you know the emotions.  Wish me luck. 

  • Nocompromises2013
    Nocompromises2013 Member Posts: 292
    edited November 2013


    7 weeks post chemo. (One month post the full 3 week effects)


    I have about a 2-3mm growth it is very slightly patchy but good enough for when it's fully grown salt and pepper no waves in it ( too short ??). Still slightly too short /uneven to look 'normal' in public although we went to a winery last weekend and I was SOOO warm I did go bald for a little while - my first time


    Should take photos once a month !!!

  • 2bluestars
    2bluestars Member Posts: 89
    edited November 2013


    Rambo those "mammo grahams" are a hoot!


    Today I had a post chemo MRI. Of course it's Friday, so I won't hear the results till Monday. I feel pretty good about it since they couldn't find it with the ultra-sound, but still....


    I can't believe the anxiety I felt just being in that place, the last time I was there, I knew the bc diagnosis was imminent. Why is it when you HAVE to absolutely still you have the over-whelming urge to scratch your nose or something? The more I thought about it or tried not to, the more it itched. That was the longest 45 min. ever!


    Up next, my mo asked me to do blood work at the 10 day or so mark post chemo. So I'll do that Thursday when I see my primary for my flu shot.


    My breast surgeon says I'll need to meet with a lymphadema (sp?) specialist prior to my surgery. They will measure my arm and fit me for a sleeve, show me some exercises to do prior to surgery and after. He said it's not a certainty that I will get it, but have 20 to 30% chance since I'll have lymph nodes removed. If you get it, do you have to wear a sleeve daily? Or is it as needed?


    I have a few hair stubble's. You can't see them really, but feel them. Hubby says they are dark on the back of my head. I still have eyelashes and eyebrows. I think if I am going to lose them it'll be this week, that's been the pattern for me anyway. Keeping my fingers crossed they hold.


    My sides effects are almost gone. It's exciting to know they won't be back. :-) I hope everyone's is too.


    Have a great weekend!

  • JeriGrace
    JeriGrace Member Posts: 128
    edited November 2013


    Hi all,


    It's so nice to come back to this thread and see posts from all of you. My hair is so crazy. Almost all white, very sparse, but growing. I think I look like a sad little chick. I started using Nioxin a couple of weeks ago but not sure if that's what helping the growth. Will have to start shaving my legs again soon.


    I am almost 6 weeks PFC and finally feeling some energy returning. I just finished 4 weeks of teaching full time. The first 2 weeks were really tough and the next week was awful because of a terrible cold, cough, and sinus infection. Last week was better after a round of antibiotics. However, I started radiation on Tuesday and having to leave work very day was a pain. Now I'm back on medical leave until school starts in January. It's been stressful trying to write plans for a sub plus do report cards and get prepared for parent conferences. I'm not going to let myself feel guilty about this time off because I really have done everything I can and think I do deserve some time off to heal.


    I am really struck by how totally different radiation is from chemo. Being in the chemo suite was such a social experience with people talking and eating and sharing. Radiation is very isolating. I go in and put on a gown, then into a big almost empty room with a giant imposing machine and small table in the middle. Bless the techs, they decorate it with light up lawn ornaments - Friday they had replaced the pumpkins with Pilgrims. :) They are so respectful and keep me covered up with a heated blanket as much as possible and I have some fabulous fuzzy blue arm warmers that they also heat up. Once they have me positioned they scurry out of the room, leaving me with my thoughts and that scary machine. Fortunately it's over really fast and then I get dressed and leave. Repeat 29 times. Not saying I miss chemo though. :)


    So happy for everyone nearing the end of chemo and moving on with their lives. Here's hoping 2014 will be a much better year for the Firecrackers!

  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited November 2013


    I have hair but it's short. I'm about 2 1/2 months past last treatment. It's pretty filled in now and dark except for the gray. It's such a relief to see it. Eyebrows are also coming back and my eyelashes too. Warning the eyelashes continued to fall after chemo. I only have two or three left on each eye so I'll be glad when the sprouts grow longer.


    I still also have some aching especially in the rainy weather but it's way better than during chemo.


    Rambo I love those mammograms. What are the breasts? Such a cute idea but I guess I shouldn't take them to the office party.


    I never have felt inclined to purchase the"pink" gear but today I was looking for a hoodie and underArmour has one that says " she's a fighter" on the sleeve. I had to have it.


    It's funny how each situation affects us differently. JG many feel the same as you during rads but I had no distress at all. In fact I kind of enjoyed the rads experience. Mine they played music and had pictures of the sky and trees on the ceiling. Maybe that helped. But put me in the mammogram waiting area and I have an anxiety attack.

  • Hannariggs
    Hannariggs Member Posts: 137
    edited November 2013


    Hi All,


    For the first time since my diagnosis I have allowed the depression to set in. I have always been the cheerleader, but right now, I have had enough. I know I only have 3 more taxotere to go, but I am sick of being bald, tired of being tired, tired of putting on that happy face when inside I just cant stand another day of being sick and fatigued. Tired of hearing "how good I look". When I know people are trying to be polite. Not being able to tie your shoes without being out of breathe. Going to work and going through the motions but not really being there due to chemo brain. I know I have to pull it together for 3 more treatments, but I just dont know how I can. Tomorrow is a new day, things have a way of always getting better, but at this exact moment. I am just plain pissed off and tired. Thanks for letting me vent.

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited November 2013

    Hannariggs,  I totally kno how you feel.  5 days after my chemo still tired, no energy, no appitite.  Very motional fo me today.  I cried in my room  alone after i dropped my kids off at school.  Like you said, tired, out of breath, hate being bald . Family and friends said I dont look sick when I have wig on.  They said I look good, but whatever I dont feel good physically n mentally.    Hang in there and I hope we will get thru this somehow.  

  • JeriGrace
    JeriGrace Member Posts: 128
    edited November 2013


    Hannariggs, it is pretty hard to make it through this treatment without hitting a low spot. I had a point too when I thought I couldn't do it one more day. It really helped to share that in this forum because these are the people who really understand and you definitely don't have to put on a happy face for us. Just let yourself go through it and don't beat yourself up over it. I'm a few weeks past chemo and though I'm not even close to 100% I do feel a lot better. It really will happen for you!

  • Hannariggs
    Hannariggs Member Posts: 137
    edited November 2013


    Thanks Soriya and Jeri. The words of encouragement are so comforting. I have another Taxotere tomorrrow and I honestly don't know how I can make it another 3 weeks. My toes and hands are completely numb and now the numbness is going up my legs. I just dont know how I will be able to walk. I was in so much pain last night I just stayed up and walked most of the night. Is all of this normal? My dr did switch me from taxol to taxotere because he though the taxol was doing damage. Thus far I think its the taxotere that is worse. However, since they are sister drugs they probably are both bad. At least for me. I have never been a quitter but I dont know what else to do. Hopefully I will be able to suck it up another 2 weeks after tomorrow. I better look into getting a cane. Good grief! Hope everyone else is doing well. Seems like most everyone is done and getting on with their lives. I can't wait for that day. Love to all

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited November 2013

    Hannariggs,  Taxotere hit me hard on #5  and 6.  My feet hurt and sore too when I walk  but not numb.  Maybe your MO can reduce som e doses?  I heard some women said your MO able to do that.  im still here not moving on yet. i missed our July ladies,how everyone doing?

  • JeriGrace
    JeriGrace Member Posts: 128
    edited November 2013


    Hannariggs, I had to get out of bed to walk several times because of the numbness and discomfort. That is much better now. I agree with Soriya about checking with your MO about a lower dosage. Mine was reduced to 75% after I had a difficult time during the first round and that helped. You really are in the home stretch - hang in there, Firecracker!

  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Member Posts: 156
    edited November 2013


    Hey all. Had my last TC yesterday and I'm going for radiation planning this afternoon before my Neulasta shot. I feel happy to be joining the ranks of those who are done chemo and onto the next phase, but I won't count myself done until the week of bad SEs passes this round.


    Last cycle (#5) was a little better with my Taxotere reduced 20% and the MO kept that dosage this time, but I had one day of terrible peripheral neuropathy in my feet at day 7 (new symptom). My hands had similar symptoms to the previous cycle. I'm hoping it won't get much worse this last time or it will pass pretty quickly like for the feet this last go.


    I hope I'll find some time to catch up on you all later this week. It has been so crazy busy at work and I have constant muscle fatigue all the time that just exhausts me. I glanced through quickly and I envy those of you who have hair growing back in! I really can't wait to get to that point.

  • Girlstrong
    Girlstrong Member Posts: 438
    edited November 2013

    Hi girls, I feel the same way as you all  many times.  The fatigue has really set in over the last month or so.  I sometimes feel like a failure when I'm around my kids because I don't have enough energy to do "fun" things on the weekends.  I am luckily to have a very supportive extended family and so they have been helping out a lot with that. 

    Like many of you, I cry too.  Not so much because I'm depressed but because I am sick of this whole mess.  I am sick of going to chemo, I am sick of having no hair, I am sick of anticipating surgery, I'm sick of not going out like I used to, I'm sick of not drinking wine, I am sick of being sick with this mess.  This is such a long and duanting process. 

    I try to stay focused on the good things that have happened.  I am so grateful that time is passing!!!!  When I was first diagnosed, I swear time stook still.  The month of July, August and September felt like an eternity.  I couldn't wait for the weather to change, for my kids to start school etc.  I needed time to pass to show that I was progressing in getting rid of this disease. Now that we are into November, I truly feel so much better.  December will be here in no time along with my last chemo which is scheduled for December 12th!!  I cannot wait.  That is progress in the right direction. 

    If I can get through chemo, I truly believe that I can get through the other stuff. Surgery, rads, reconstruction....no systemic side effects like chemo.  That is a really good thing.   

    Girls...hang tight.  The chemo end of the rainbow is near.  :) Love to you all wherever you may be. 

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited November 2013

    Mellie, congrats on your last chemo.  Yes  muscle fatique is suck, hang in there. Girlstrong,  December is coming soon, soon you will be done with chemo.  I kno I feel the same way with my kids, use to be active mom, now cant do that,  I hope I have better summer in 2014.  Im looking fwd to do many things with my kids.  

  • Rambo50
    Rambo50 Member Posts: 140
    edited November 2013


    Hugs to you, Hannariggs :(


    I know how you feel. Even though my last chemo's behind me (1 week out tomorrow), I still feel like crap. I know people are assuming that it's all up and up now, but I know it will take some time for me to feel completely well, and that I'll never feel "normal" again. We ALL deserve a pity party every once in a while - because life just ain't fair!!!


    I've got folks already asking about next semester and my load. I'm honestly scared that I won't have the energy to tackle it full time... BUT, I'll do the best I can, one day at a time.


    TwoHobbies, the breasts are marzipan, stuck to the chocolate Graham's with icing. Nipples are pink gel icing ;)


    Hugs from my comfy chair, folded up in my softest blanket (a gift from my sweet daughter after dx), pain pill ingested, ready for a nap after teaching this morning. One more step!


    Lynn

  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited November 2013


    maybe there's something in the air because I'm having a bad day too. I go to the doctor today to get my ovarian suppression and yes, it just feels never ending. I was so glad to be done with chemo and now I'm worried how I'll feel on the next meds. Everyone thinks I'm done but it's really not. I just want to cry. Hannariggs, girl strong, Soriya come on over to my house. I'll make the drinks we can't have if someone will bring the Kleenex.

  • Nocompromises2013
    Nocompromises2013 Member Posts: 292
    edited November 2013


    Rambo those boobs were so funny !!


    Excellent hang in there only a few days to go and then you can start to really get strong again


    Hannariggs sad to see you so down, but you will get there


    To all of you do speak to your MOs if the neuropathy is that bad. You don't want it to be irreversible !!


    I have been on the big T for the last 3 weeks and no SEs yet (except for weight loss - YAY !!! )


    Hang in there all Firecrsckers 2014 is just around the corner

  • KTLe
    KTLe Member Posts: 22
    edited November 2013


    Hannariggs, I was ready to quit after my 3rd chemo out of 6. I was bawling my head off a lot and shared this with my med onc. She put me on an antidepressant and it really helped. I don't remember or know how I made it through #4&#5, but the second my 6th chemo was over, my mood improved 1000%. To make it through chemo makes me feel like I could meet any challenge. I can't believe I'm saying this out loud, but once my chemo was over, I was surprised to find that I was glad I did it. This way, I'll never say that I should have, if the cancer were to return. I wish you all the luck and am sending you tons and tons of strength to get through your final chemo's. Like most awful things, once they're over, it seems like they went by quickly.


    Mellie-I got a new side effect with every tx and after my final one on Oct.22nd, I got foot neuropathy like you. What can you do?? You have to walk and it hurts to walk. Good luck Mellie. You're going to make it through this temporary hell!

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited November 2013


    Yah! Mellie! you did it! the neuropathy deal is bad though i have to go see a neurologist because i've had terrible restless legs too.I always thought that must be in your head but it's real and sometimes keeps me up all night. I'm starting radiation on monday,one more step closer to being done. I'm alittle worried about burning being a really white redhead but it can't be helped much from what i'm reading.So my hair started going back at first patches of dark stubble all over my head,now i've got baby fine fuzzy white hair all over my scalp,like a sick chick(good description Jerigrace).My hair was thick and curly,with no greys so this white is terrible.Hopefully,it won't stay white,if it does i'm dying it for sure!Hang in there everyone,i'm thinking of you all,special hugs for Hannariggs.

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited November 2013


    Yah! Mellie! you did it! the neuropathy deal is bad though i have to go see a neurologist because i've had terrible restless legs too.I always thought that must be in your head but it's real and sometimes keeps me up all night. I'm starting radiation on monday,one more step closer to being done. I'm alittle worried about burning being a really white redhead but it can't be helped much from what i'm reading.So my hair started going back at first patches of dark stubble on top of my head,now i've got baby fine fuzzy white hair all over my scalp,like a sick chick(good description Jerigrace).My hair was thick and curly,with no greys so this white is terrible.Hopefully,it won't stay white,if it does i'm dying it for sure!Hang in there everyone,i'm thinking of you all,special hugs for Hannariggs.

  • lark
    lark Member Posts: 61
    edited November 2013


    Hi girls,


    I havent been on here for awhile but try to read now and then to keep up. Its been 3 weeks since my last chemo. My energy is better, but by no means normal. Still feeel very stiff and achy like Ive been skiing all weekend. I have to stretch every morning to get moving. Still have a little neuropathy, but not too bad. Have tiny white patches of fuzz on my head. Sounds like others have started the same way so I hope it gets darker!


    One week after the last tx my son fainted at school, hit his head and got a concussion. I've been busy taking him to appointments, working with the school and trying to keep him sane. Its tough on an 11 year old who is not supposed to do anything physical and cant watch tv or use any technology. He cant read, go to school or do homework without getting a headache. Its been an unwelcome distraction, but at least I'm focused on something other than cancer for awhile. Although my focus is almost as bad as his! Really need this chemo brain to go away and for his brain to heal so we can find a little 'normal' again.


    Im thinking of all of you still in tx or who just finished. Hope those doing rads are tolerating that well. Be diligent using the creams they give you to keep the area moisturized! It helps.


    Hannarigs, I'm worried about you and sending you hugs. This sounds like too much numbness. You're obviously not a quitter, but cutting back may be whats best for your body.


    Twohobbies and others, I hope youre feeling more encouraged. You're right that this is not over for us and people just dont get that. But its a huge accomplishment that we got through this nasty step and we're still fighting. I think there will always be anxiety with every step, whether its the next med, follow up appointment, scan or whatever. I hope that will get better with time.


    Thinking of all of you even though I dont have time to mention all.

  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited November 2013


    Thanks Lark. I got my Zoledex and started anastrazole and really don't feel any difference so that has improved my mood. Plus I have a light therapy light for SAD and that is helping a lot. If anyone suspects they have winter blues I highly recommend trying it.


    Yes the white downy chick look does go away although I'm sad to say the gray is still there! For the first time in a very very long time I'm seeing my natural hair color which is quite dark and ashy plus I see how much gray I really have! But I'm just glad to see hair covering my scalp.


    Lark a friends son had a concussion and they are doing the same. No electronics, no school work. She had to put out an appeal for his friends to come see him because he was so bored and depressed.


    I don't know if it's my imagination or not but I think the neuropathy is getting better. My nails are pretty fried. 8 of10 are semi detached and broke part of four off. Can't wait for that damage to grow out completely. They are so ugly and annoying.

  • Hannariggs
    Hannariggs Member Posts: 137
    edited November 2013


    Hi Sisters,


    I know its been awhile but just checking in to see how everyone is doing. Looks like we are all plodding along. So far since day one and the finish line in sight. Still dealing with the Taxol/Taxotere blues. If the taxol doesn't cripple you the taxotere makes you sick. Thank God only two more treatments left. Onco told me I could quit anytime, but who gets this far and quits? Not that I really want to, but will suck it up. I don't want to look back and ever wonder "what if". Yes, I too am sporting the proverbial "sick chick" look. Never thought I would be so happy to see some type of hair growing no matter if it does look like bum fluff.


    Prayers to you and your son Lark. Always something.


    Angela-let me know how your radiation is going. Mine is being started during my last chemo treatment. As if I am not tired enough, but at least all done by xmas. Yeah!


    Hobbies-good luck with neuropothy. I also have it in my fingers and toes. I have been shellacking them as much as I could during all my infusions. Seemed to have done a little bit as they have not fallen off or changed colors yet. 2 to go........ugh.........I feel like the little engine that could....."I think I can, I think I can". Have a great weekend.....love to all

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited November 2013

    Hi Ladies,  any of you ladies had swallen ankles issue with Texotere?  On day 10 after chemo my ankles are red n swallen, hurt when i walk but didnt hurt that bad that i couldnt walk.  i feel a little pain n sored on my feet when i stand too long.  i had this swallen ankles issue with my 5th treatment also.  By the time i see my MO   that swelling was gone so i totaly 4got to mention that to him.  i wont see him till wed.

  • Girlstrong
    Girlstrong Member Posts: 438
    edited November 2013

    Hi Soriya 123,

    Yes Taxotere can cause swelling of the hands and/or feet.  It can also cause a host of other side effects.  Check out the link I have posted, it gives a good summary of all the potential side effects. 
    http://www.drugs.com/sfx/taxotere-side-effects.html

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