Meltdown today

i think your response was "normal" and don't think they should consider it a mental heath issue. If you feel like you would like to take a medication they should discuss it with you. I occasionally take an anti anxiety med and feel that what you are going through is very hard so hang in there. Xo

Sorry you had this meltdown, but hopefully it aired out some of the fear and anxiety you have been holding. Many women do take anti depressant meds after their diagnosis, even though they never needed to before. You are in a brand new, and very fearful place. If you take some meds, it is ok. Give yourself some room to think it over. Sorry you are suffering (((hugs)))

Cathy, I saw your new post and wanted you to know you're still in my thoughts!

One thing you will learn here is that tears and meltdowns are a part of coming to grips with your situation.  Tears are not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and a way to release and let go of the stress and tension that you are feeling.  Let those tears flow; one day you will understand that those are healing tears. 

As for the anti-anxiety meds, if you need them, get them and take them.  Again, no sign of weakness to take the edge off of things.  If you need to get some counseling, get it.  Again, no reason to be embarrassed.  You need to recognize that you are very worthy of help no matter where it comes from  family, friends, here or a counselor and that it takes a lot of inner strength to recognize that you need some help.

Hugs.... hope you find a little calm......

yes, yes, yes......most of us have a meltdown or several along the way. I thought I was doing so well and then wow, out of the blue I was an emotional wreck 6 months after diagnosis. Meds and a couple therapy sessions helped so much. It was a relief to have my fears for the future validated. I'm a year out now and for the most part things are getting back to normal. Allow yourself time to grieve and process everything. Reach out and accept the help offered. It was hard for me to do this, but once I did, I knew it was the right thing to do and it helped with the emotional healing I so needed.

Will be thinking of you.......

msjar... I two have been recently dx with idc..It was taking for ever to get my tests done....when I saw my np she offered me Xanax which was and still is a great help. If you need them don't be afraid to ask...your feelings are real and you have every right to feel the way you do. I was dx on the anniversary of my moms passing so I was already in bad shape . I don't take them everyday but I'm glad I have them in case my anxiety gets out of control....wishing you the best of luck, your in my thoughts and prayers..

Thank you, Blissful. My double mastectomy is scheduled in one week, so i might call & ask dr for Xanax. Surely i couldn't get hooked on them in that short time!  Hubby and I have also been trying to cope with putting his mother into an elder care home. She was there less than a week when she fell and broke her hip.  She has Alzheimer's. It's so hard to deal with everything.  I am sorry about your mom's passing and your diagnosis.  You will be in my prayers as well.

Meltdowns are so unexpected.

After coming home from Rads last week I was talking to my husband about going to pick up some candy for thank you gifts and I just burst into tears- He asked me what was wrong and I had to say " I don't know but its not about the candy" verrry weird and we laughed a bit but I knew it had been building because I am going to rads every morning and working every day like its just some new routine instead of having treatment to save my life and cutting myself some slack.

I decided right then and there to start going to my cancer support center yoga classes- I am a yoga person and had stopped going to my normal studio after surgery because I was afraid I could not keep up.

spending some time with people who are dealing with both more and less than I am is really helpful and I feel so good to be back doing yoga which is good for body and soul! I am going to branch out to the meditation session as well. It was a big deal to admit I just can't do it all

if one more person says you look so good and have such and amazing attitude I might just howl. Of course I do- Its that outwardly coping thing someone posted on- It takes everything to rush to rads, rush home, shower and then head into work or attend on line meetings and actually be productive but I would like to survive this thing so that is what we do.

Thanks for posting your experience and allowing me to share mine-

Blissful, i hope you are finding more support now at home.  My hair dresser was sweet to me when I got my really short hair cut in preparation for chemo. I cried all the way to the car & had to take several minutes to get composed before i could drive.  These meltdowns come out of the blue and hit you right between the eyes!

MsJAR, I know what you mean.  I'll be doing just fine--feeling strong and all of a sudden I'll tear up over something unrelated.  It's very uncomfortable, and esp since I teach high school kids, though I haven't lost it with them yet--TG the majority of my kids are boys b/c they're always teasing me and distracting me.  

Yesterday I lost it at a faculty meeting though when the principal asked me to share with the group.  Another teacher is going thru colon cancer as well and she got up and was fine (seemed fine I should say) but I was blubbering and then others started to cry and that made me cry harder.  I figure I cry more than most what with all this estrogen that got me in trouble in the first place.  I figure the anger meltdown is next--the one where you're stomping thru the house screaming and cussing.  I did that once after my ex left and I was afraid the neighbors would call the police.  It was kind of scary but felt good at the same time.  

I've had further thoughts on this and I can tell you that I will never again judge anyone on how they handle a crisis of this proportion.  I went to our end of year Christmas party today and now I was fine but the other teacher was still in shock after getting her line put in for chemo.  I'm not downing her--we just cycle thru a lot of emotions and quickly too and I'm guessing that she's still in shock.  But there are so many factors that go into how "strong" someone is and sometimes I think we're all strong.  In the case of the other teacher and me, she has a strong support system in being married to a really good man who is determined to get thru this with her.  In my case, the ex left 5 years ago and never looked back and I was just starting to date a really wonderful man, who happens to live 5 hours away.  We might have just barely been able to make it work before, but now there's no way and it breaks my heart.  I have never raged at God as much as I did when I realized that I'd have to give up on him and I have cried every day since I told him no contact.  

Also, when folks haven't had any setbacks for awhile, they'll sail through easier than someone who has experienced a string of bad luck and events all too close together.  That stress takes a big toll on us physically and if we have another crisis before we've healed from the last one, we're not going to deal with it as well or heal as quickly.  I had a psychiatrist explain that to me way back when the ex left and it has certainly proven to be true.  Back then, 5 years ago almost exactly, I sailed through in a way that some thought was almost creepy but I'd had a good long stretch of serenity that lasted 20 years before that.  Since then, life has been more crazy than not and the only thing that gets me thru these dark nights is gratitude for what I do have--and that is still plenty.  There is still more right with my life than wrong, even in the worst of times.  As long as I still have my two daughters (19 and 21), then all is well with the world.  But darn it, they ran off and left mom all alone and I have an empty nest to deal with as well.  As you can see, I cycle thru the emotions!