my mom has been diagnosed ... i dont know what 2 d

Options
usako
usako Member Posts: 9
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

my mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer .. they say that its in its last stage and that she only has a month to live ... that radiation wont help .. she is paralyzed ... and im just scared and I dont know what to do .... i just want to talk to someone that has gone through this ...

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • usako
    usako Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2006

    i may not have been clear .... i know I havent .. it has spread to her lung live her spine and all over her back ... they say that her outlook is bleak .. my dad is a wreck .. my sister .. has lost so much weight from not eating .. I am too ... they ask us if we would want to put her on a resporator is she suddenly cant breathe ...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • usako
    usako Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2006

    i really hate this .... and I dont want to deal with it .. I wish that I didnt have to deal with this ... and what also adds to our family situation is that my brother died about 3 yrs ago ... the doctor has metioned to me that I have been handling very well ... but I have to .. I have to b strong for my mom ...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • usako
    usako Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2006

    i was wondering ... even though she cant feel her legs .. just at times .. do u think that she should do the radiation ... doctors say that she shouldnt cause it would just cause her pain .... and we should just make her comfortable ...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    usako,
    I am so sorry to hear of your Mom's dx
    please know my heart goes out to you and your family and Mom. We are here for you.

    hugs,
    Carrie
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Elena777
    Elena777 Member Posts: 6
    edited July 2006
    I am going through a similar situation with my Mom now. She was just diagnosed--- her Breast cancer was not detected through Mammo's etc- and she also has mets to her spine and clavicle. She also can not walk. She walked up until her diagnosis. She just finished radiation and she is on hormone therapy--Femara. Her Dr says no Chemo and obviously no Mastectomy because it has spread already.
    They did radiation more to help stabilize her spine than anything else. Her spine looks like swiss cheese. I saw the cat scan. Empty spaces where bone should be.
    I am soooo sorry that you and your family are dealing with this. I truly feel your pain. I am in such a similar situation. Her Docs have not mentioned a time frame to us though. My Mom looks bad and she gets weaker and weaker everyday.
    Hugs,
    Elena
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • usako
    usako Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2006
    thank u so much for listening to me ....

    thank u Carrie .. hugs back ... its nice to hear that .. makes me feel like I am not alone in this ...

    thank u Elena .... so sorry that u have to go through this also ... and I see the same thing with my mom ... hugs to u Elena .... my prayers are with u ...

    its so hard to just watch her there in bed .. and not be able to do nothing ... I hate it .. i hate it ...
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • usako
    usako Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2006

    im reading a lot of people saying that some of their loved ones were given just months or weeks to live ... but they out lived that range ... does that mean that they kept doing all the treatments .. like chemo and radiation ...?!?!!?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2006
    Im sorry to hear about your mom. It must be very hard for her and all of your family.

    When you think about treatment options, you have to think quality life. What does your mom want to do?

    As far as respirators. You need to ask your mom what she wants. Many people have DNR or DNI DNR = do not resusitate if the heart stops. DNI = do not intubate meaning dont put on a respirator. Your mom should be part of the decision making.

    Good Luck

    NuttyNurseNicki
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006
    This stage is really difficult to fight, but she could hang on longer. The one thing you can expect is a lot of pain, the mets to your spine are very painful. They will try to keep her comfortable now. Treatment is too hard, when it has gone this far. Her case is more frequent than any of us would like to think. Spend as much time as you can with her, vent here often if you need to.

    I am so sorry for her dx! I will pray for you and your family.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • usako
    usako Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2006
    Thank u NuttyNurseNicki .. that help ... and the thing is .. when the doctors talk to us .. they dont talk to us in front of her ... seems like they arent wanting to let her know of her situation .. or how bad it is .... i dont know ... but my mom doesnt know how bad her cancer is .. makes me so sad .. and ...I just want to bury myself somewhere ....

    And thank u Cowgirl .... yeah .. that is what the doctors are telling me .. that the best thing to do is just keep her comfortable ... I just got back from the hospital ... they told me that her liver is not doing very well .. and that she can go at any moment ... *sob* ....

    I am spending all my time with her .....
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    Usako,
    I don't know where you live , do you have hospice?

    Prayers going up for you and your mother for peace and no pain

    Hugs,
    Carrie
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006

    The liver will wreak havoc on her body, and spine mets will cause her pain. I would encourage someone to talk to her about her situation, she has a right as a patient to make some decisions. There may be some things she feels she wants completed, and that would help you feel useful. This is the hardest part, you can not help her, and you know she is in a lot of pain. I am praying for you, got up last night praying. Nighttime will be the worst.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • usako
    usako Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2006
    to carrie .. yes .. they talked to us about hospice ... but it seems .. that they are not thinking of that now .... thank u so much for ur prayers .. means a whole lot ... hug hug hug

    to cowgirl ....yes .. i feel that what u stated is true that she should make some decisions about certain things ...and it would at least have me do something for her ... thank u so much for ur prayers also .. means alot that u think of her ...hug hug hug ... I only hope that she goes in peace .....

    I just dont know how my sister is going to take it when she does go .... right now my moms bodys is getting bloated .. i am assuming its because of all the liquid that she has in her body ... her arms .. stomach ... and her breathing is very umm not normal breathing ... I just hope that I dont breakdown ... I dont know how I am going to handle it ...

    my mom ... my mom .. I want my old mom back ... *cries* I want her to b well again ... if I could I would trade places ... *sob* ....
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    Oh sweet heart,
    I am so sorry tell them you want hospice if they ask again.
    I hope they can tap her and remove some of the fluid to help her breathing.And I do know that helpless feeling
    just make sure she is geting good pain management, and love her thats all you can do sweetie, You your Mom and your family are in my prayers.

    hugs,
    Carrie
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006
    The fluid is because her liver is in such bad shape. I think it is time to tell your sister. The drainage is quite toxic to her body, and hard on her system.

    I hear your pain, I know this is the roughest part of your life. But more important is God hears your pain, when you are weak he is strong. His strength can carry your burdens, take all of this situation one day at a time. Do what you have to that day, don't overthink! One foot in front of the other, that is all you are required to do.

    Prayers and hugs coming your way!!!!
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • usako
    usako Member Posts: 9
    edited July 2006
    my mom has passed away .....

    to all u wonderful people that supported me .. thank u ...
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • 73gr
    73gr Member Posts: 459
    edited July 2006
    oh my sweet girl
    i'm so sorry and shocked!!! my thoughts and prayers for you and your family! your mother is now smiling and blessing you from heaven. we are all here to give to you and your family anything you need 24 hours a day! Don't hesitate to keep posting!
    A big hug
    Lorenzo
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Sandra1957
    Sandra1957 Member Posts: 1,701
    edited July 2006
    Prayers to you and your family.

    lini
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    I am so very sorry honey, I hate cancer so bad!!
    No more pain no more illness for Mom, she is an Angel
    watching over you now. You are in my prayers my
    deepest sympathies go out to you and your family.

    I echo Lorenzo, come back anytime we are here for you.

    (((((usako)))))

    Carrie
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006
    usako,
    I am so sorry for your loss, I will pray for your dad and you!
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories