Spiritual/Christian Thread

Kim, I am so happy for you that your MRI was good. There are blessings with this bc. We don't always see them right away, but there are gifts and blessings and we count the blessings as they come.

Cowgirl, I know it's hard to take that step-back, to not go running every time something goes wrong, even when you know it might be harder for those who have picked up your responsiblity. I used to feel that if I didn't do something it wouldn't get done and for awhile at the beginning of my bc journey, that was true. My husband hadn't a clue how to do many things and my sons had to take on more responsibility. But I saw that as necessary...there were lessons for them from my bc as well. And someone, somewhere will figure out an answer or a solution to a problem..I don't have to be superwoman. That didn't come to me overnight, believe me, but when it did there was such a sense of peace. And in some ways, me stepping back allowed others to grow, to find their strength and their ability to lead, to shine. That was good too. Finding the balance as you said does take time, but I do believe it is worth the effort, even as we are stressing, worrying and sweating over our decision to "step back" for our own peace of mind, it does make life easier for everyone. And when you have found that balance for yourself, you will feel so much stronger. I'm praying for you that the road is not too difficult.

Debbyfive, thank you for keeping us all in your prayers. That means so much.

I'm now facing a decision with my mother-in-law who will be 90 this year. She still lives on her own and would like to continue doing so as long as possible. She has made it clear many times over the years that she does not want to go and live in a home with other people that she does not know. Her health is beginning to decline which is expected at her age..I think she's had some small strokes, she's having dizziness and I am beginning to see her frailty increase. It may be that we are coming to the point where the decision needs to be made for her as to her future living arrangements and I can see that she will be relieved when the decision has been taken out of her hands. My husband is not confident in areas such as this (he is an only child) and prefers to think that his mother is just fine. So it will be up to me to work through this with his mother for the hardest part. I haven't had to go through this with either of my parents who passed away before we reached this stage. Perhaps it will be easier for me than my husband because this is not my parent and there will be less feelings of guilt. That said, it's still not something I am looking forward to having to do...if she liked the idea of living with other people it would be so much easier. I'm looking for strength so that this can be handled with grace and dignity, not to mention love. Please keep me in your prayers will I am going through this decision making.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Carrie))))))))))))))))))))))))
because you always know the thing to say, the spirit to share when it's needed. Thank you so much for being so thoughtful and caring. It does make a difference.

Thank you Debby, for having such faith in me and I will give this concern to God. I trust and pray that I will be given the guidance I need.

You are so special, ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) to you for your care, concern and your spiritual blessing to those whose lives you touch.

Debbyfive, thank you for praying for a miracle for me. I did have a miracle yesterday..a small one but it was one nonetheless, and when it happened (something not directly related to the decisions I'm facing with my MIL), I thought to myself, "thank you Debbyfive, you helped bring me my miracle."

Kim, I appreciate all your good thoughts and your prayers. It's hard to help others when we are facing our own issues, but I've found that it becomes easy to put our own concerns aside when someone really needs us. And one thing I kept stressing to everyone ~ family & friends ~ was that I was still me during active treatment and I was still caring, compassionate and able to help. I did try to have my husband step up more and do what needed to be done at times when I was tired and laid low from tx, but I must say I am glad that this is now happening when I am at the herceptin stage and living a more settled life.

Cowgirl, I thank you for your prayers and your understanding of what I am facing now. As you said, we can pray for one another and it is easy to pray for others during our own times of crisis, crossroads, indecision or sorrow and it seems to me that when we pray for one another, our own prayers are heard and answered because of our generous heart and spirit towards others. What we give comes back to us because we are ready to receive.

We face some hard roads sometimes, but knowing that we have others to help us on the path, to lighten the load and guide us when we feel we're getting lost, makes the journey that much easier.

The next few weeks will tell the story for me and I'm hoping and praying that my MIL will be receptive to decisions that need to be made, knowing that we are thinking about what is best for her quality of life.

Wendy, glad to see you back! Hope vacation was restful..I hear you so well on trying to find time on the computer. With 3 of us (2 teenage boys) wanting on here throughout the day and evening the most common refrain is "are you nearly done?" And I loved the analogy to Starbucks and pulling up a comfy seat..it is like that here, isn't?

My thouhghts and prayers are certainly with you regarding your situation with your MIL and your SIL. As I always say, just when we think our situation is difficult, we hear that someone else is facing something more difficult. It doesn't make my situation less or your situation more, it just reminds me that while I think things are difficult for me, my heart goes out to you because your situation is going to require more strength, more love and more compassion.

When the time comes that your MIL is no longer here, you will not only have the situation of deciding on where your SIL will live, who will be her primary caregiver, you will also have the emotional impact on your SIL to work through. She will miss her mother, quite possibly be confused as to where she has gone, why she has left her...as you would with a child of 5.

Having already dealt with hospitalizations, illnesses, you are already going through some of the stressful, difficult aspect of what lies ahead. My MIL has her health (so far) though she has been having dizzy spells did fall once, which to my mind sounds more like TIAs (small strokes). Her doctor is looking at heart as the culprit, I am looking more overall at circulatory so will be pursuing that at her next appointment and paving the way to the decisions that need to be made. I know that she does not want to live with "other people" as she has said so many times in the past, and yet, it is often what we want the least or fear the most that becomes our destiny. I remember my mother saying for most of her life that she would hope she'd never be blind..and at the age of 67 developed macular degeneration which rendered her legally blind.

With prayer, love and support for one another here on this board, this thread in particular, I think we will both be able to move forward with strength and love Wendy. Our compassion and our spirit will dictate that.

I look to the future and know that God willing, I too will be an aging parent and I know that how I approach this situation and handle it will be the example my children have to follow for whatever happens to me and to their father. I may go first, that is a reality of bc, we face our mortality and make our peace with that. As my husband is not the stonger of the two when it comes to making decisions, taking action in situations like this, I can ensure that our children will have the knowledge of how to make his final days peaceful if I am not here to do that.

Every experience in life is one of learning and growth. Thank you for sharing your life situation with us.
Hope everyone has a blessed day!