I don't think I will ever get over this......

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Racy
Racy Member Posts: 2,651
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
I don't think I will ever get over this......
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  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited October 2013

    I just passed three years since my diagnosis. Apart from cancer, I have a great life: great home, family, friends, job, holidays, spirituality, social life, doctors and medical care of all types. Good prognosis too.

    But the emotional pain and scars from cancer are still with me every day.

    I know others are dealing with much worse and I pray for you often.

    I have done all I can think of to get beyond the cancer experience including counselling and medication but it is still with me. I have never had reason to be emotionally unstable before cancer.

    Does anyone have any wisdom on this?

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  • rozem
    rozem Member Posts: 1,375
    edited October 2013


    you know I promised myself I would get off the boards and move on from cancer...and yet here I am!!!!


    I feel the same way. I do think that sometimes there is something residual holding us in "cancerland". For me the aches, pains and fatique are a daily reminder of what my body has been through, I am trying really hard to work past it but its HARD. I just went off on a rant yesterday with a friend about how shitty I feel most days after she made a backhanded comment on "it must be nice to sleep for 10hrs". I need a lot of sleep these days just to feel like I can conquer the day - yes I sleep more than most 44 year olds but most 44yr olds haven't had the horrid treatments that Ive had.


    anyway...back to you - I don't think you should put a time limit on it. I think sometimes we put these expectations on ourselves, like "I should be fine by year 3". Well we are all different and that's ok. We've been through a lot. You sound like you have a great support system (as do I) so you will get there!

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  • voraciousreader
    voraciousreader Member Posts: 7,496
    edited October 2013


    Racy....You hit the nail on the head with your comment that you never had reason to be emotionally unstable before cancer struck you! Funny how sometimes too much of a good thing can be harmful! So many people are so lucky to be blessed with a full life filled with happiness that confronting something major often doesn't come along until later in one's life and throws one a curve. Believe it or not...it's NORMAL. You're feelings are NORMAL. Now it's all about finding that NEW normal and that's what has you feeling uncomfortable.


    Want my advise????? Volunteer your time doing something that you are passionate about. It's really the BEST medicine! My volunteer activities enrich my life and sustain me. Just being able to commit myself to an activity reinforces my feelings that I'm here for the long run because others NEED ME. It also gives me back CONTROL in my life. I know that I can say to someone that, no matter what, I will be where and with whom I want to be, doing what it is that I WANT to do. Cancerland has a way of taking control of our minds and bodies and TIME! I've taken my life back by volunteering. I'm once again in control!


    I wish you well. And one more thing....Hug someone who really needs a hug. I did it last week. I paid MY EMOTIONAL STRENGTH FORWARD. I found a reserve that was hiding inside me. It felt so good.


    Here's a hug for you. I hope it builds up enough emotional strength in YOU so that you can pay it forward.....

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  • vcw
    vcw Member Posts: 1
    edited October 2013


    Dear Susan Komen,

    How are you? My name is Velerie Williamson. my husband and I are pastor's of Jesus Christ Revelation MInistries in Miami, FL. I am an author/publisher/motivational speaker/seamstress.

    I lost two of my relatives to breast cancer and recently lost my dad to cancer. My heart goes out to the other's that are going through the same thing.

    The Lord has blessed me to be a blessing to others. I was in my car one day just praying and the Lord told me to get a sewing machine. I had never sewn before and I only had a portion of the rent money for the church. I was obedient and went to purchase the sewing machine. The first thing that I was led to make was handkerchiefs and I said "Lord you are awesome" because I did it through prayer. After making that I was led to make a bigger size to cover women's laps in church or special event or meeting. The Lord instructed me to pray over every stitch. One day shortly after the Lord told me to make prayer shawls. I said "Lord, I am not from Jerusalem, but you're telling me to make it. I cried and I cried. I even tried to get help from other companies to do a portion of the prayer shawl and the Lord said to me "I anointed your hands." It took me a while through prayer and fasting to get to where I am today. I have the gift of healing and He began to deal with me concerning colors. The very first prayer shawl that the Lord led me to do was for breast cancer.

    I would like to donate 20% to your organization from all products purchased through any upcoming events that you might be having or through a website or affiliate that you might have. I'm working on my website for an online store called Holy Creations by the Holy Spirit. It will be up and running real soon. I'm working on products for breast cancer such as: prayer shawls, handkerchiefs, visors, headbands, Pandora style bracelets and more to come.

    If you would like more information or would like to invite me to meet with me, please contact me at (786) 474 - 5873 or by email @ veleriewilliamson@yahoo.com.

    Sincerely,

    Velerie Williamson

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  • kaza
    kaza Member Posts: 284
    edited October 2013


    Hi Racy, firstly i think the way you are feeling is normal, i feel we expect too much from ourselves sometimes, i should be this or i should be moving on bla bla bla.......the facts are we have all been through a life changing experience, we can never be the same as we were, but in time we learn to enjoy life again in a different way.....nothing in life is certain things can change at a blink of an eye, i feel we have to live in the moment, enjoy the now .


    I am 4years out now, for me it has taken this time to feel at peace and not think about cancer so intensely. I wont let it ruin my life it has taken enough, i was fortunate to have a good prognosis, i have empathy and sincere caring thoughts for our sisters of all stages of this disease.


    Dont let this disease steal any more of your time, or energy, i know its hard make time for yourself and do the things that bring you happiness ....kaza xxxxxx

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  • Jennt28
    Jennt28 Member Posts: 2,021
    edited October 2013


    Racy - Riding for the Disabled?


    Love and hugs, Jenn

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