August 2013 Surgeries

ndgrrl · October 2013

Hi all,

I got an automated call from the hospital Saturday that said I needed to get in touch with mammography. I did just that today and they told me I was supposed to have a 6 month follow up on right breast( the breast I had the lumpectomy in) So I got ahold of the breast center and the nurse there rattles off that I had a suspicous looking complicated cyst at 11:00 in my breast that they noticed when they did the biopsy at 12:00. The same breast that cancer was found in( this was just in July)

Now they just want to watch the 11:00 mass. WTH??? is what I am thinking- NO ONE told me about any of this. I mean couldnt they just have biopsied it while I was there if it was suspicious and taken care of it when I had surgery in that same breast- what is this 6 month waiting thing, and then if it is something, does that mean I have to go through all this again?

They did put me through to the doctor who had did my biopsy and she talked to me for quite awhile and I also mentioned to her about the ball of hardness under my incision and she is suspecting I have a seroma. She told me when I see the NP( was able to up that appt to this Wed) and if she thinks that it is also a seroma that they could possibly check out the other mass at the same time if I can get fitted in for an appointment. I am two hours from the facility so I really do hope they can "fit me in"

I really really really thought this was getting better and it was past- but what the heck!!! I just do not understand their reasoning behind waiting 6 months when I was having surgery anyway!

Any one else heard of anything like this?

Talk about FREAKING OUT!!! Sigh..:(

babs6287 · October 2013

Lisa

Try to take it easy, drink lots of fluids, take Vitamin C and kick this cold! Keeping my fingers crossed that chemo happens as planned!!!!

Wrenn

Hope your wound stops bleeding and heals.

Sometimes the road we take gives us a few detours but keep moving forward and stay tough !!!!

Babs

poodle_mum · October 2013

Lisa, I've had 3 colds since all this started and that's unusual for me. I think our immune systems are just compromised a lot. Try to rest. I know I can't take the meds for colds because of asthma and pleurisy.

Ndgrrl - I too have a hard lump on the side where the cancer was but they say it's a seroma and keep doing the breast massage, especially in that area. I also have a lump on my right side near the incision.

My doctor is waiting for me to heal and get healthy (ie no colds and be able to consistently be able to eat proper meals) before he can do my ultrasound. Can't have a mammogram, nothing much to fit into the plates! Once we get to that point he'll decide if he needs to go back in.

I hate the waiting game. At least if he goes back in, this time I'll know what to expect

KBeee · October 2013

Lisa, I hope you can kick the cold so chemo is not delayed. For the past 3 years, I have taken a supplement called Epicor because they offered it to city workers at half price. It is the first supplement I have ever taken; I am not an alternative medicine type of person. It is a yeast derivative. It is made in my city, and the story behind it is basically that there was a company that made a variety of products, and their insurance company noticed that workers at one of their plants were never sick. Their sick time was about 25% of the other plants. Long story short, they did a bunch of research and now make it. I would research it and clear it with your MO, like anything. I used to get pneumonia 3 or 4 times per year... had it bad once which put me at bigger risk for recurrence, and being a firefighter, I am exposed to lots of junk...anyway, the only time I have had pneumonia since taking it was once when my supply ran out. I am not getting Neulasta, and so far, so good...knocking wood!!! I usually kick a cold in about 2 or 3 days while taking it. I am hoping it keeps me healthy through chemo. We'll see. Time will tell.

Wrenn, I hope that wound stops bleeding and starts healing!

ndgrrl, I would be frustrated too. I hope you get answers soon!

poodemum, glad you are getting out and about more.

I am done with 2 of 6 chemo rounds. January 3 seems so far away! They are generally going pretty well. I am doing the Race for the Cure this weekend, and am hoping to run it. I ran Sunday and will add a mile today. We'll see how it goes! My in-laws are visiting this weekend, for the first time in 5 years. While I am glad to see them, I do wonder why people think the middle of chemo is a good time to visit! At least they gave me a choice of weekends, so I could choose one towards the end of the cycle when I am feeling good.

LiLi1964 · October 2013

Thanks, Wrenn. No, I cannot take a few days off - I've lost so much work already and my husband, who is a employee of DOD was furloughed so his pay has been delayed - just can't lose anymore time from work. About taking extra vitamin C....my MO specifically looked to make sure there was not too much vitamin C in my Blood Builder. Said she wants to make sure I'm not taking too much as it would interfere w/chemo. So, no extra vitamin C for me. But the expectorant seems to be working. I'm feeling good about chemo moving forward but since it's been called off so often.......I'll just wait and see.

Sorry to hear you couldn't get that new dressing going. Your care for that sounds really horrible to me and I feel for you, Wrenn! I really want your recovery to speed up so you can move forward with your care - are you seeing your MO on Thursday? I hope you get some news about chemo not necessarily being out of the question....I think it's something you really need them to give you a firm answer on so you know what to expect for your future.

I keep you in my prayers daily, Wrenn. Make sure you let us know what news you hear about moving forward w/chemo.

Lisa

wrenn · October 2013

KBee good for you for doing the run. You really are strong. I guess starting off fit really makes a difference. I don't like that your inlaws are visiting when you could be susceptible to catching stuff. I agree Jan 3 seems like a long way off and 2 out of 3 sounds like a long way to go. I like the sound of 3 out of 3 better and you will be there soon. :-) Also, thanksgiving and christmas will make time fly I bet.

Lisa, I think of you when I get discouraged because you always bounce back. I am glad you are already starting to feel better. You have also taught me that you can be discouraged and down and climb out of it quickly. I tended to stay down too long.

I am seeing the surgeon today but don't expect to hear much. He basically got stuck with me when I quit my first surgeon and is only following up on the wound care.

One good thing that happened yesterday was that I got a new family doctor and I really like her. It felt like finally someone was paying attention. It felt so good to sign the papers requesting a transfer of all of my records from the other clinic. I had gone to it for years and loved my original family doc but it has gone down hill since she retired (just before I was diagnosed) and I am happy to move on.

The new doc had me do some blood work and my hemoglobin is up to 118 which is better but my ferritin is low so I am anemic. I will start eating more iron rich foods. I suppose this won't help my cause for chemo but I am now thinking it is what it is and will trust the universe. In some ways I think I have a better chance of it not coming back if I just work on getting healthy in general and chemo will set that back big time. I will do it if it is approved but am starting to be ok with not doing it.

Have a peaceful day friends. xo

wrenn · October 2013

I just got a call from the cancer agency. I had an appointment to see a psychiatrist there about anxiety and what meds I could take but it was scheduled for after chemo was to start. I had called twice leaving messages asking if I could just talk to someone about meds but they didn't return my call. They just called and I have an appointment with the psychiatrist this afternoon. :-) Maybe the tides have turned. Even if I can't get chemo I might be able to decrease the angst.

Sending hugs to my fellow angsters. xo

Pam358 · October 2013

Lisa - I hope your cold has improved.

Ndgrrl - Sorry you have been put back on the rollercoaster - hoping it all goes well.

Kbeee - Good Luck with the Race for the Cure this weekend. I also hope the visit from your in-laws goes well - it is ironic that people who have not visited decide to visit when you don't really need extra people. Hopefully they will surprise you and be easy company!

Wrenn - So glad to hear you like your new family doctor! I hope all goes well with your surgery appointment and your psychiatrist appointment.

Jo6202 · October 2013

Wrenn- Glad to hear the tides may finally be turning in your favor. Hope you like your new doctor. My PCP is leaving her practice to run a weight management program for the medical system that covers several counties around here. She lost over 100 lbs. over seven years ago and she has so many over weight patients (me included) that she wants to help. I hate looking for a new doctor and having to explain my issues to someone new. I'm still waiting to see if I have to do chemo and if my body could handle it. Thursday will tell. Let us know how you like the psychiatrist. Hoping you get some relief.

VintageGal1111 · October 2013

Oh ndgrrl

I can't imagine how you feel! I had some miscommunication with my BS regarding my biopsy results & it was such a bad feeling.

I know you will just do what you need to do, step by step. You are strong.

Take care,

VintageGal

wrenn · October 2013

Thanks guys. Jo, I hope you get lucky finding a new doctor. There is a shortage here right now so I feel pretty lucky. Let us know how it goes on Thursday. I hope you get the news you are hoping for.

The psychiatrist was helpful. She said I should take anti anxiety meds for the next while to deal with all the stuff that has been going on. She said I can wean off later. Saw the surgeon and he said again that the wound won't close in time for the oncs schedule but said it is healing. Right now I am more concerned about getting general health up to par before tearing it down with chemo. Found out I am anemic too so started taking iron again. Cancer is evil.

When the shrink talked about group therapy I told her I had an online group through the cancer agency but that my real therapy occurs here with you guys. She was pleased to hear that it was so effective support wise let alone knowledge wise. xoxoxoxoxoxo

I hope everyone is having an ok day. Lisa, I hope the cold is clearing up and that you are having lots of good sleep to build up to your big day.

Pam are you all ready to start over? I hope you are feeling strong.

poodle_mum · October 2013

Why is it that the doc wants the incision holes to heal up and be on a full diet before he does the ultrasound to decide if he's going to do another surgery? His exact words "healed and healthy". I don't get it. At this rate I could be looking at January and I hate waiting. At least last time they only gave me 3 weeks.

Ok that's my vent of the day.

KBeee · October 2013

Wrenn, I am glad that your psychiatrist visit went well and that your wound is healing. Praying for continued healing for you.

Poodlemum, Did he give an explanation?

Lisa, I hope your cold is cleared and that you can star your chemo today. Hoping for minimal and manageable side effects for you.

LiLi1964 · October 2013

Poodle-mum – so sorry your recovery is taking so long. Between you and Wrenn I don’t know who has had it worse. I wish things would just start getting better for both of you!

Your doc is probably saying “healed and healthy” because your poor body has been thru so much. Another surgery is only going to make things worse…so he wants you in the best possible shape before that happens so your healing time will be optimal. I know it’s hard, but it is important that we allow our bodies to heal before causing more stress to it. And remember, you vent here anytime you want! We are hear to listen and help each other get thru these tough times so use us when you need to, OK?

Funny how we know so little about what goes on around us sometimes isn’t it? You found a bus that has been there the whole time and you never knew it! That’s funny!

Ndgrrl – I am so sorry for the confusion that has entered your life. It’s unacceptable, in my opinion. I agree with you that they should have biopsied the cyst right away during surgery since it was right there in front of there faces! It’s not like you could speak for yourself at that moment but is would seem to me every women would want a biopsy done on anything they found suspicious during surgery so they should have done it. Where was their common sense? Jeez!

KBeee – I’ll ask my MO today about the Epicor. Amazing results you talked about but I’m thinking she might say “no”. She seems to be concerned about my taking too much antioxidant. I don’t take any supplement as an anti-oxidant – I take Vitamin D, daily vitamin, B12, Blood Builder (for anemia), Azo yeast (to prevent any yeast infection during chemo), Azo Urinary Tract Health (to prevent UTI during chemo) and Fish Oil (as directed by Complimentary Care for high cholesterol. Nothing there that is an anti-oxidant so I don’t know where her concern comes from she mentioned during one appt that she doesn’t want me taking too much as it will interfere w/my chemo. But I’ll ask – I’m all for taking a simple pill if it can keep me healthy (I think I already take too much but several are just being taken for health during chemo and once that’s done I won’t take them any more).

What brand is it that is made in your city?

2 out of 6 done – that has to feel great! I hear you on the in-law visit…..I don’t get people sometimes. They might think they are doing the right thing but don’t think things thru very well. Oh well, sometime we have to put our feelings aside to keep the in-laws happy…..I hope you have an enjoyable weekend. Remember, nothing wrong with excusing yourself from their company if you’re not up to visiting, though. It is YOUR difficult time fighting this disease and it’s all about you right now. If they get miffed, they’ll get over it.

Wrenn – you have to be able to bounce back! It’s easy for some of us to get discouraged because of our pasts, but the one thing I’ve learned is staying discouraged just makes things worse. You have to look at things for what they are and crawl back out of that hole we put ourselves in to face what needs to be faced. I’m better at it now than I’ve ever been. I just want to get things moving and today seems to be the day. The waiting was annoying at times, the set-backs were frustrating, but in the end I still face the fact that cancer could be lingering in my body and I want it out. It is that which keeps me going and keeps me focused (I’ve not dealt so well w/the headaches over the years but that’s because there is no end in site for that; the doctors don’t know how to help….so it’s no wonder I end up in that terrible hole and find it difficult to crawl out.).

Have you considered trying Blood Builder for your anemia? I can’t say it will work for you but it does wonders for me. Always brings my numbers back up and gets me out of the anemia range w/in 6 weeks, always! You can find it at health food stores or online. It might help…..

I’m glad your “shrink” has you taking anxiety meds. Remember, all is not lost on the chemo front, Wrenn. I know you need to think of the possibility that it may not happen but don’t discount it yet. Let the doctor’s guide you……don’t jump to conclusions. You are not the first person who has had a long, drawn out recovery who needs chemo so they have protocols in place for these situations. It’s important to not put yourself in the frame of mind of “they won’t even let me do chemo because it’s too late”….you don’t know that (do you?) – at least I’ve not read that any doctor has told you that. Just relax, let the anti-anxiety meds do their thing, and just let your body heal. Again, the doctors will guide you on if chemo is an option or not. And until your MO tells you it is no longer an option, you’re just playing a guessing game with yourself and that’s not healthy. Do you get what I’m saying? I worry for you because I keep reading words that sound to me like you’re giving up on having chemo and I don’t want you going there when your MO hasn’t told you that……

Jo – I hope you get your answers today. I can’t imagine having to change PCP’s right now – its simply unthinkable! I feel for any of you who have to do this right now – it must be very daunting having to go thru your entire health history to someone new.

Hoping you hear “you do not need chemo” – that would be so nice, don’t you agree?

This darn cold or whatever is still plaguing me but I don’t think it will delay chemo. The post nasal drip ended up in my chest and I just can’t get a productive cough going. I’ve tried what I thought would help, added vitamin C, took an OTC expectorant, but nothing seems to help. But perhaps the MO will have something she can suggest. I just can’t believe that during “cold and flu” season they would hold up my chemo over this…..

I’m not nervous at all about today, which is quite unlike me. But I’ve been like that since before 9/26 when chemo was supposed to start.

Can’t find a damn scone anywhere at the UW. It’s almost like I wrote about it back in September and since then NO SCONES anytime we are there. Damn!!!!! And I mean none! We’ve stopped by at least once a week during all times of the day and nothing. Guess I’m going to have to settle for Perkins Muffins or something – will send my husband out once chemo gets started. Oh well, Perkins makes a darn good Blueberry Muffin so it’s not like it’s a total loss but I have to say, I really wanted the scones to be my treat for chemo……

Hoping everyone is well. Sorry I’ve not written but this Lyrica they have me on makes me fall asleep at the drop of the hat and I literally fall asleep trying to write posts that are more than a couple sentences. I have such a hard time getting used to these anti-convulsants but I need to keep on it for the pains in my arms.

As always, each one of you is in my thoughts and prayers! Have a great day!

wrenn · October 2013

so sorry for your frustration Poodlemom. I hope things change for you soon.

KBeee thanks for the nice thoughts. For some reason i am still afraid to take the meds. I feel like i am saving them for something work which i guess means i am still hoping chemo will happen. I did finally take a low dose at 2am and slept.

Lisa you have written a very long post today and i wonder if it was a distraction from thoughts of chemo today. You sound very calm so i think you are just feeling energetic and "let's get this party started". I have a feeling chemo is going to go well for you today. Except for the scones you are very well prepared.

I looked online last night and found a health store that sells blood builder and i am going to get it today. Thank you again for the tip. I had forgotten about it we are all in you pocket today as you sit in the chair will wait for update.

I hope the wed girls had good nights and are doing ok. Xoxo

Jo6202 · October 2013

Hi Everyone,

FINALLY! Some good news for me. My oncotype DX score was 12 so no chemo needed. My radiation starts on Monday. This show is finally back on the road to recovery. I was so excited today that I completely forgot to discuss when hormonal therapy will start. Thanks for all the words of encouragement.

Jo

wrenn · October 2013

Great news Jo. I am so happy to hear that. I hope radiation doesn't make you too fatigued. Good day for you. :-)

jbdayton · October 2013

Yea Jo, no chemo. I know that is a big relief for you. Good luck with your rads I am at the half way mark tomorrow and holding up good so far, just a little pink.

Wrenn glad you are pursuing psych help. I would definitely be doing the same thing if I had all the delays and complications you have had. You are a strong person to have made it this far. I don't understand the chemo time frame I thought it was supposed to work systemically. Have they explained why?

Lili so sorry you cannot find your scones, you were looking so forward to that. Hope you got to start your chemo.

KBeee glad you are moving along.

Poodle mum hope your incisions heal up quickly.

wrenn · October 2013

jbdayton, it was explained to me that triple negative is so aggressive that chemo needed to be started as soon as possible after surgery before it had spread. If cells had already moved the chemo could take care of it but the longer you wait the more cells would be released and it would be too overwhelming for the chemo to catch them all so the chemo would be a health risk not really worth it. It is worth putting your body through chemo if it destroys random cancer cells but after a point (which they said was 3 months) there was more of a chance that the chemo wouldn't catch it all so they wouldn't risk it.

Seeing that many people have a recurrence even getting chemo 'on time' I worry about the risks too. If the chances of cancer coming back are high I wonder whether I am better off skipping the complications (and set backs to my healing). I am leaving it in the hands of the oncologist though so that when it comes back I won't blame myself. :-)

jbdayton · October 2013

Thank you for the explanation. I still cannot believe your surgeon did not get concerned over the blood in your drains for so long. I still pray for you to recover completely from your infections. Keep us posted. (((HUGS)))

poodle_mum · October 2013

Thanks everyone.

Apparently he's concerned with the left side - of course, it always is but he wants to ultrasound both sides. He said that waiting a few months is not going to be a big issue (for him maybe, he's not the one waiting) because of the low grade and he got everything clear at that time. There are a few suspicious lumps that may or may not be seromas (he must think it's the latter as the seromas present are draining). I think the issue with the ultrasound is the pressure needed to be used could cause the incisions that are just nicely healing to reopen and there could be a helluva mess to deal with. I'm guessing since he was just in there and the biopsies came back negative and he got the parts he wanted out that anything new would not be something of an emergency issue. He said he wanted to wait. So I'm up to about one solid food a day which is good (can you count Cheetos too? I'm able to eat a few of those a day. Lol)

I go back on Tuesday so we'll see what he has to say then. The only positive thing is if he has to go back in, I'll be prepared for the aftermath whereas this time I flew in blind and couldn't imagine anything worse.

Congrats to Jo for the good news. I have a friend who was diagnosed with uterine cancer, had her surgery the last week of September and by last week she was basically back to her normal life, cancer-free with no extra treatments. While I'm happy for her, I'm also jealous (I know that sounds terrible). I'm 2 months and my goal to be well is January. That does sound selfish as we all have different obstacles. I got angry at myself today for thinking that all she has is a scar and go back in 6 months for a check-up and I lost so much. Yet then I think of some of you wonderful ladies who probably think the same think about me because I was one of the "lucky" ones that didn't get drains and chemo.

I don't know. This world we were thrown into is just so messed up.

Ok, I realise I'm still venting

LiLi1964 · October 2013

Jo – Congratulations! So happy you got the good news.

Wrenn – the long post this morning….was because I’ve not been able to stay awake long enough lately to get a post out that addressed everyone I missed previously. Figured first thing in the morning was my best bet and because I had a later start time for chemo, I took advantage and got my “normal long-winded” post out.

So happy you got the Blood Builder! I have to tell you, my MO looked at my blood tests they did just prior to my appt w/her and she said “you must be doing something right because you are just .2 points shy of your hemoglobin being back in the normal range”. I reminded her about the Blood Builder and she was very impressed by it. Remember, it was just 3 weeks ago I was told I was anemic – began taking Blood Builder and look how far it’s gotten me in such a short period of time. I love that stuff!!!!!

Well, we finally did chemo today! Had a little anxiety start as we were waiting (they were about an hour behind) but that was because I had a really bad headache and was fearing chemo might do something to aggrevate it. And the blood draw was a little, OK, much more uncomfortable than I anticipated! That HURT when then accessed the port! Damn, nobody prepared me for that and it was most unexpected (found out later it’s because it’s a large needle being used). I will definitely be using lidocaine crème in the future to get it numbed up about an your before going in.

I felt as good leaving chemo as I did going in. No problems as all. Port worked very well, had no bad effects from the pre-meds, sucked on ice chips during Adriamycin infusion, and they ran the Cytoxin over 60 minutes just to make sure I had no allergic reaction. Was a very long day (from 11:15am to 5:30pm) and I’m beat. But no SE’s at all; that can all change by tomorrow but I’m not going to worry about it. If something comes up, I either have been given meds to handle it or I call and get advise on what to do or what to take. It really was no big deal….but I’m sure fatigue is going to be an issue (given how many problems I’m having w/fatigue and the Lyrica already) and I do worry a bit about bone pain after Neulasta injection tomorrow (because I take Loratadine every day for allergies (that is the generic of Claritan) so I fear it will not be as helpful to me as it is to others because my body is so used to it already). I’ll just have to wait and see; and I have the weekend to recoup should I need it.

Falling asleep here, I’ll post more tomorrow.

wrenn · October 2013

Lisa, what a relief to see that you finally made it to chemo after all the problems. I am so glad it went ok. Good plan about the cream before accessing the port. I hope the side effects are minimal but as you say they can be treated. I am sure you will sleep well. Thanks for coming back to let us know how it went. Whew.

JBdayton thank you so much for your kind thoughts. My surgeon is lucky I am too tired to deal with her neglect right now. When I get my strength back there will be a few letters sent out.

Poodlemom Sorry you are still dealing with this. No matter what the diagnosis you have had a lot to deal with and it would be hard for anyone. I hope the healing speeds up for you. Take care.

poodle_mum · October 2013

Wrenn, thanks so much for the positive words.

Lisa, good to hear you made it through your chemo day.

Many thoughts and prayers to all you wonderful ladies! ♥

ndgrrl · October 2013

Congrats Jo

Lisa glad your chemo went well. I never had to have chemo but when I read all your posts I feel for you and you are espressing everything I had feared when I thought I would have to have it.

Wow Poodlemom- I am sorry to hear of all your are dealing with. I hope also that your healing can speed up and you can start to feel decent again.. you sure have been through a whole lot.

Wrenn I am glad to hear you are healing. You also have been through a whole lot.

KBeee · October 2013

Lisa, I am so glad that you have finally been able to begin chemo. 1 down. Yay! I wish you a weekend with few side effects, and all manageable ones.

Jo, Good news on the chemo. I hope rads goes well.

jbdayton, I hope rads continues to go well.

wrenn and poodlemum, prayers for continued healing!

I am doing the Race for the Cure tomorrow. My legs feel like they are made of cement, so my hemoglobin must be low, but I am going to try and jog those cement legs the whole 3.1 miles. After this, if I am as tired as I am now, the rest of he way through, I'll just have to stick to long walks, and hold off on more running until spring. Spring...I can't wait for it to arrive and for Ll of this to be done. I do hate wishing time away though, since my kids are growing up too fast.

LiLi1964 · October 2013

KBeee - I feel asleep last night and didn't get a chance to wish you well in the Run for the Cure (and thank you for your contribution in helping all of us out as we are the end beneficiaries)!

Also, I need to know what brand of Epicor (is that what it is called that your dept uses?) you use. My MO said it is fine for me to use (I was shocked, but pleased!). I'd like to take the brand you take - I looked online and there are a lot of diff brands out there.

babs6287 · October 2013

Lisa-so glad the first chemo went well-sorry you didn't get your special treat as you had hoped !

Jo-that's great news!!!! Time for the happy dance for you

Ndgrrl- I know you're frustrated- I'd be too. Just take a few deep breaths!

Jbdayton-glad radiation is going well for you-use lots of aquafor-to make sure you don't burn-it does work

Wrenn and poodlemum- I hope your healing goes great from this point on

Since I've last been on, I've been crazy busy at work. And, I saw my onc for my 3 month check-up. She said that all looks good-whew! a sigh of relief to hear that! I am experiencing severe aches behind my right knee and in my back which is sooo exhausting.

I do have great news- my daughter is back from Europe. She moved there in June but was transferred and will be living both in NY and Europe going forward. I've missed her so very much!!!!

To everyone, a good and easy weekend

Babs

babs6287 · October 2013

PS Kbee-thank you for doing the Race for the Cure for all of us!

Babs

ndgrrl · October 2013

I have posted this on other boards so if you havseen it before I appologize.I was finally out and about today- Had my fluid in my breast aspired on Wed- feeling a bit better but sore. But my mood was better today. Someone told me I should write down my story- so I thought I would start.. The story I am posting here really did happen to me- It just shows that sometimes though U want to cry U can laugh... My sister nearly fell off her chair when I came back from the clinic that day and I told her what happened. She said - well if something unusual is gonna happen- it will happen to you. I guess I keep her and my life interesting!! I hope you can read it and Laugh with me!!!

My clinic definitely must think I am some kind of hysterical freak. I went to have a pap had not had one in 5 years, because my GP passed away and I just never wanted to have the new GP give me one (I am extremely conservative) So after I was diagnosed with breast cancer I thought I best have one- so it took all I could do (I so HATE paps) to go to the clinic. I anxiously waited a half hour in the regular waiting room.

I finally get called back and put into an examining room- gown on- boobs poking out the front- I have to re-dress to hunt down a nurse for an adult size gown. Shamoo himself could have fit into the gown I got. But boobs covered OK- all set.

I wait and wait and wait- 45 more minutes goes by- no magazines-no books, only thing to look at is the tray of contraptions, which my eyes are riveted to, that will soon be used in my HOO HAA. I was not too thrilled to be looking at them in such great detail! Some of the tools I would look at and think WTH is that for??

Finally after all this time I cannot stand it anymore and I remember a bathroom next door, so Shamoo gown wrapped around me 3 times, I head next door to the bathroom. A little while later, I open the bathroom door only to hear the nurses say-" Let’s go straighten up room 7. I hurry back next door and LOW AND BEHOLD I am room 7!!

The nurse finds me in room 7 a few min later and says- "whaaa- you are still here?" I said yes and my panic and anxiety are in over drive by this point!!! I say, “I am just leaving.”

My appointment was at 3:45 and it is now 5:00 and I still need to go to the lab for my blood work and I figure the lab is closing at 5. So I proceed to tell the nurse she can clean up the room as I am leaving anyway as soon as I can get dressed. The nurse grabs me by the arm puts her other arm across my shoulders will not let me dress or leave and says real close to my face, I feel like I am a 90 year old crazy deaf lady-- “You have cancer. You need this pap. I promise you he will be quick, I won't leave you, you cannot leave, and you have to get this done. Let’s get you on the table.” She is acting like I am scared of the doctor and a lunatic to boot!!

I am not scared of the doctor. I just do not want to be naked anymore and I don’t want my HOO HAAA subjected to any of those torture devices that I had been staring at all this time!! Plus I really did not want to miss going to lab for my blood tests. I did not tell her this though. She was too busy trying to keep me from running out the door Shamoo gown and all, I was to that point!

Meanwhile the doctor walks in with a baffled look on his face wondering, I am sure, what all the commotion is about, and she slams the door practically in his face and says, "We are having a little anxiety problem here, it will be ok soon, come back later”. At this moment I wanted nothing more than to be gone. I told that nurse over and over but she insisted lab would wait for me and this would soon be done.

Finally she talks me into sitting on the torture (in my mind it is) table- puts my butt on the very edge- feet in the stirrups puts the table up to highest position ( I guess she felt I would not jump off it when it was far in the air) and covers my legs with a blanket- but I am certain my HOO HAA is feeling a breeze.. Nurse says" Let me grab the Doctor-I will be right back."

I wait and wait and wait - thinking OMG the janitor is going to walk in at any moment and get the full view of my Hoo Haaa-- 15 minutes goes by, my back cannot handle those stirrups anymore and I pull my tush slowly up to the top of the table crab walking as I go so I can get my legs out of those stirrups!! I thought to myself, what happens if I fall off this table with my Hoo Haa in the air? Will this Shamoo gown cover it all?

I am sitting there when the nurse comes in again- she says “Oh, you were not comfortable?" I wanted to say YA THINK?? Hoo Haaa in the breeze with my legs apart- how comfy is this - U have to ask? But nice me stays silent. She said." Well I cannot find the doctor but when I do we will be right in" ( I figured he ran for the hills after the conversation he had come across earlier) .

I then sat there seriously debating how to dive off the table without tripping over the Shamoo gown when the Doctor kind of squeamishly does finally come back in. I will say he was quick!!- I heard him say something to the effect that " He only had one chance at this so he best do it right" Then he was ready to run out the door and he decided last minute to check my ovaries and the nurse - said-- Aren’t U going to do her breast exam?

I had just that very day told that nurse I had just recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and had been examined the last three weeks by every mammogram, ultra sound, doctor and intern out there and that I DID NOT need another breast exam! I proceeded to tell her again and the doctor just that. The doctor said. "She is fine" and this time did run out the door!

My girlfriend said he usually talks to her while wearing the gown but he came back after I was fully dressed and we had a chat where he stayed far across the room. I must have appeared like I would bolt out the door if he came close to me. I asked if I could have some Ativan for anxiety and before I could get the words all the way out of my mouth he had prescription pad in hand writing out a large dosage.

I never did tell him I had been forgotten in a room and then left in the stirrups. I probably should

have, but by that time it was near 5:30 and I still needed lab work.

My appointment that day was 3:45 and I got out of the clinic at nearly 6 pm. I do not know if I can ever muster up enough courage to go through all that again!!

So I can imagine what that clinic must think of me- They must think " How did she ever birth two children when she acts like a 16 year old virgin getting her first pap!!"

So yup- when it comes to clinics thinking I am nuts- I think I rank right up there!!

August 2013 Surgeries

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