Diary of a bilateral mastectomy

Hi Coni,

The numbness under the arm lasted quite a while with me....now,  2 1/2 years after my operation, lots of massage has made it so those nerves are regenerating.  I started seeing a massage therapist trained in scar and lymphatic recovery...and it's working like crazy!  She does these tiny movements with her hands....I feel this burning pain - almost like I could draw a line to show exactly where the pain is, and then she says 'that adhesion just let go so easily!'  She is starting to work on the big ball of scar tissue in my armpit, and it is slowly disappearing.  I Never would have thought any of this is possible, but it's working.  If anyone lives in Calgary, pls meg me and I'd be happy to give you her name.

My surgeon says it takes longer to heal on the inside than on the outside.  I had 72 staples removed, and they came out very easily....just little pinches, not the brief burning pain I had when the drains came out.

What's really really important is you do the exercises before radiation starts.  What you achieve during the operation and radiation will make a huge impact on your quality of life, because radiation kind of cooks the muscles, and they will never feel soft and supple again, without lots of massage.  Use any oil with vitamins, like olive oil or almond oil.

It took me a long time to come to terms with what I saw in the mirror.  And I'm not ashamed to admit there are still days that come along when I feel sorry for myself, wishing my reality were different.  But, everything I've learned on this journey makes it so these sad times don't last very long - and coming here to be with you, and share with you is a big part of it.

I want to share something amazing...!  For the past 3 months, I have been seeing Dee, a massage therapist that is trained in lymphedema, scar massage, etc.  I believe she is only 1 of 3 people in Calgary with this level of training.

I never thought my radiated muscles would even be supple again...but I was Wrong.  Dee has worked miracles on the scar tissue - especially on the left side where I had so many lymph nodes removed. 

There was a large lump of scar tissue in my arm pit that has disappeared.  The actual scar on both the left and right sides are no longer adhered to fascia or muscle anymore, and many of the muscles have been separated from the muscles/fascia they were stuck to, and there is blood flow everywhere!

Now, when I massage on my own, the area actually STARTS OUT (mostly) supple.

This has been happening in 'layers'....how with each appointment, Dee goes deeper and deeper into the sinews and muscles around my shoulder, between my shoulder and my chest, along the side of my rib cage, in my armpit and under my arm, and all along the scar tissue on both sides.

My range of motion has no limitations any more, and I am now enjoying the deep water workouts at my local swimming pool.

So my dear friends, KNOW that you can achieve so much more healing, if you can find a massage therapist with the proper training.  The Proper Training can't be stressed enough....many massage therapists use far too much pressure, more than is necessary, trying to break down the cardboard that our muscles resemble after radiation.  It takes much more subtle work than that....a gentle touch, and I am constantly amazed at Dee's intuitiveness....sometimes when I look at her while she's massaging me, her eyes are actually closed, as she feels her way along a group of muscles, or tries to unravel a lump of scar tissue.

If you would like to see Dee, or chat with her, or if you want your massage therapist to chat with her, please let me know. 

Because of this successful massage therapy, my journey of healing has continued.

And though I've not opted for reconstruction yet, I got the coolest prosthetics that STICK to my skin....I'm glad I waited to get the prosthetics, because now, I wear them when I feel like it, and not because I am too self conscious to be seen without them.  And to be really really honest, I LOVE not having to wear a bra if I don't want to!  Technology is amazing isn't it?? 

Twinkly

Hi everyone....!

Badger, I'm so honored you are bumping this thread so others can benefit by it. 

Sharon, I would be happy to forward Dee's information to you, so you can contact her and ask questions/advice about the unique massage therapy she has enriched my life with....just let me know. 

And Ginger, you are absolutely right....knowledge is power!  

Hi Widdershins....so good to hear from you!

I'm so glad you didn't let the opinions of others drown out your own voice.

I think this happens when we are still in shock over the diagnosis, and are being rushed into making decisions now! now! now!

I never understood this...it's not as if the cancer just 'appeared' in the last month or so....its most likely been there for months/years, and everyone needs time to let their heads catch up with their hearts, so to speak.

I pray you continue to follow your heart, and that you get through the coming months as quickly and effortlessly as possible.

Big hugs!