September 2013 Chemo Group

Thanks SpecialK! That makes sense about the Zyrtec, I haven't been getting Benadryl at all, just Sudafed and the anti-nausea cocktail.

Knightzoo I'll be here with you till January - my treatment is an exact reverse of yours. I think my last treatment is January 17th. And I doubt I'll be going anywhere even after that - this is the only place where the word cancer doesn't stop the whole conversation.

I lost the battle of sleep this morning, I've been up since 3:30am. I refuse to hit the coffee until at least 5am though...oh wait look, it's 5am, yay :-) Anyway today is the dreaded evil Day 3...so far the nausea hasn't kicked in so maybe it will be better than tx #3. I got an rx antacid this time, they're thinking that my heartburn was causing some of the nausea, and since I'm an idiot and didn't listen to anyone telling me that heartburn and nausea are related, I wasn't treating the heartburn really at all. I could be on this chemo crap for decades and still not get it all down, lol.

I think my biggest question on the rads for me is that I had a bmx. I keep hearing people talking about how they're getting rads to prevent needing a bmx, but I already had one. At the end of the day what I'm having the hardest time with is that I'm procedure weary, and can't tell if my hesitation is an honest to goodness I-know-my-body-and-this-isn't-right instinct, or just fear and dread and a I-don't-want-to-deal-with-another-freaking-procedure reaction. Sigh...

Lisa & Peacock thanks for letting me know about the bo. I couldn't believe it when I searched & it turned up no results. I really began to wonder if I was alone on that side effect. Should be interesting to see how long after Chemo it gets back to normal. Hopefully not long. Hope everyone has a se free day today. Hugs to those headed to chemo bar.

Knightzoo,



I'll be doing Chemo thru December, but then keep going with the Herceptin thru August.

Round 3 tomorrow. Been dreading it all week. Just seems like you get to feeling great again and then you see the Mack Truck revving it's engine at you, with it's chrome smile, and mouthing the words, "I'm comin' for ya on Saturday mornin', baby". Ok, ok, I have a vivid imagination... ;-)

Have a great day, everyone. With the government back open, I have a lot of work to catch up on.

JellyK...thanks for the laugh. It is only a matter of time before that happens to me. I keep envisioning that very thing happening!!!!

Knightzoo...My last treatment is January 3rd. Although that is about 78 days from now, it might as well be 423,678 days. That's what it feels like anyway! Has the snow melted? The news stories about the cattle losses up there are heartbreaking.

Viji...I think it depends if they are doing dose dense or not.

kjsimpson... hope number 3 goes well with minimal and manageable side effects. I feel the same way about the truck.

Art...Glad she's doing well and that the tumor is shrinking.

Peacockgirl...Sometimes I think the MOs know a lot, and other times I feel like they have no idea who I am, and this whole thing is just a crap shoot.

So about 3/4 of my leg hairs have fallen off. If it were summer, I would shave the rest, but since I so not plan to be in a swimsuit or shorts anytime soon, I am going to let the overachievers just stay for the time being. Arm hair is holding on, brows and lashes are thinning, but still there for now......

Good day to all. Off my butt to go and do some laundry...happy, happy, joy, joy.

The snow has melted, but we keep getting rain and it's a sloppy mess trying to cut up all the downed trees and bury the livestock. Mass graves are being dug. Very tragic.

My last treatment will be 1/24 unless I can talk them to move it up a week. I really don't see the need to wait 2 weeks after my last taxol to start AC if my counts stay up. We shall see. I'm a good boat rocker I've even thought about asking to do AC every 12 days instead of 14. Anything to reach the finish line faster! I don't have any breaks in my weekly taxol - every single Friday! Someone told me yesterday that at Cancer Centers of America, they do the same dose as weekly but break it into 5 and do it every weekday. I think it would be exhausting to go in every day, but maybe reduces SE even more.

And I still have surgery and rads so am looking at the first week of April to be done, if surgery/healing goes well. Good info PeacockGirl on the rads, thanks!

Peacock Girl - Ditto on the thanks.  I also had a lumpectomy and so fully recognized that I bought off on the rads but now that I am facing 7!!!! weeks of that post chemo I have been thinking twice.  I will do it though because I made the committment (and node positive) and made a choice to do the lesser aggressive chemo regimen (TC vs ACT) so feel like I need to do whatever they tell me on rads.  But good to know the statistics and the why.  The why more so helps me get through all this.  I will still do research and double check what my rad onc says....just the way I am.  I did make my apt for next week (halfway through chemo) for a few reasons.  1) so I can get the plan and start mentally preparing 2) so I can push to start as soon as chemo is over (do as much as I can over my school's break and maximize on my insurance since I hit my out of pocket max).  Personally for me, the worst part of the radiation I think will be just going EVERY DAY. 

I hear you JellyK - the apts and procedures are almost worse than the se.  Just so draining before and after and seemingly endless.  I love my onc and 'enjoy' the facility but I am so emotionally and mentally exhausted - just one foot in front of the other.  The time is passing though and actually pretty fast I have to say. 

I want to echo all of us who are so thankful for this site.  I am usually so mentally and emotionally exhausted I can't even get enough energy to post but just logging on and seeing all you out there makes me feel much less alone.  My fiancee has been having a tough time with this but covering it up for a long time and it burst forth this past week or so (manifested in something completely different).  We have been fighting and on the verge of breaking up.  And I have felt so tired I can barely fight or think about how I even feel.  I have never been so tired and while I look fine (minus hair) and can get through my day - I feel so wiped by the time I get home I don't even have energy to talk about my day.  But it is hard for him to grasp I am sick since I look fine and I HATE HATE to ask for help or 'remind him' about being sick that I push myself .... what a mess.  But all of you understand and are living it too.  I think he and I will push past this and be ok.  But I hate to say that after the initial shock of thinking we were going to break up, one of my first thoughts was - he is all the help I have - what will I do if he leaves? Terrible right.  I have just never been this tired and feeling so wasted in my life.  And this includes the time I spent 18 months straight in Iraq commanding a 150 Soldier company.  Kudos to all of us for just getting through it!

And 70 charger - ha on the BO.  I thought (maybe TMI here) that it was because I stopped using deodorant.  My lump was right in my armpit and I wasn't allowed / couldn't apply it for a long time because of the surgery (and it seemed silly to do jusy on one side) that I have just forgotten to put in on since July really.  I immediately stopped using the regular deodorant and did buy two non-Aluminum types but honestly just got out of the habit.  But I feel you for sure and maybe it isn't the lack of deodorant for me....

I have sent in my sample on the genetic testing, so should hear within a few weeks unless my insurance gives them a hard time. I think I'm negative based on very little family history, but want to be sure! Thanks!

2 months of A&C, then 3 months of weekly T&H, then continue with Herceptin 9 more months...so in weeks, 52!!! YIKES! Unsure about radiation. And probably a mastectomy in there somewhere. MO says lumpectomy wasn't enough...

jellyk- Today I was just complaining about hot flashes. I keep wondering is this it? I get really hot and then suddenly cold. Makes sleeping difficult! Do I put the blankets on or off? Lol. I also loved your bald head story. I have been so hot with anything on my head that I have been walking around the house with nothing on, but am still shy to show my head around anyone but family. The other day it was a nice day and I stepped out on my deck in my very public backyard, totally forgetting I was bald. Lol when I remembered I felt like I was outdoors naked. I know at least one person did see me. :0 I survived though. It's just funny how you can forget you are bald.

I mentioned it before, but the lump was on the left. I heard nothing about holding my breath so I am going to call the RO about it.

Hot and cold! I'm going to NYC for fun this weekend and have to figure out how to dress to accommodate these hot flashes. If I wasn't meeting friends there I'd go bald there; no one would notice right?

Kimberly - congrats on not needing chemo.  I think we will all be looking over our shoulder for the rest of our lives (to some degree) so you are not alone.  My doing chemo only lowered my odds by 25% so with EVERYTHING I still have a 25% reocurrence score (according to adjuvant online...old data...yayaya) so still significant (and my onco test was 31).  So still higher than I would like and all I can do is live and pray.  I wish all of us the best of luck and I remind myself that there are still a lot of other things that could kill us everyday (not to text and drive!).  I hope that if nothing else BC will give me the perspective (that it seems to have given a lot of other people but I am still working on) to live my life and not let my life live me.  Would like to hear how the tamox works for you as that is in my treatment plan as well. Best of everything! Josee

Wow, miss a few hours and there are loads of info to catch up on. Thank you everyone for sharing. Have finally made peace with the hair situation.Day 4 of tx#2 and surviving. Have a good weekend everyone.

Viji

For the poll, mine tumor was on the left.

Day 3 has been less awful than last tx, so that's good. I woke up at 3:30am, so after my errands today I took a nap, but then slept past when I should have eaten so now I'm chasing the nausea again. No biggie though, it's not too bad. On the hair front, my eyebrows are really starting to go. I struggle with touching them, because part of me doesn't want to pull any out, but the other part doesn't want those hairs falling into my eyes either, lol.

I switched my allergy meds from Zyrtec to Claritin, in hopes that the bone pain from my Neupogen will be better. I was hoping that since I already take Zyrtec that it would help, but last tx the Neupogen caused a LOT of bone pain, so we'll see this time. For those taking Claritin for Neulesta, is there a trick to when you take it?

Wow you ladies have been chatty while I was away! LOL

This is going to be long, I'll apologize in advance.

A couple of things on my mind..... my tumor is on my left side, whoever was asking. And I'm having 16 weeks of chemo - AC x 4 biweekly and now Taxol x 4 biweekly. My last one is scheduled for 12/5.

Peacockgirl - I hear you on the periods. I've had two since starting chemo, too, and that is NOT FAIR! LOL So much for "chemopause".

LisaSP - I've already switched to aluminum-free deodorant. I did as soon as I was diagnosed and heard it was smart for us BC girls to avoid it. The non-alum isn't great, but I have two different brands (Toms and Jason's I think) and they're ok. Might have to do some experimenting to find one that works best for you. I'm with you, I plan to stick around after chemo. If you look at the bc.org boards, there are tons of active chemo groups from the last few years. It's such a bonding experience for us!

JellyK - I have the same question about rads. I always thought that a lumpectomy + rads = mastectomy. If I'm having a bilateral mx, then why the need for rads? Would have been a good question for my surgeon today but my brain was fried by the time I saw her. LOL My eyebrows seem to be holding steady so far, but my eyelashes are thinning like crazy and it's making my eyes water all the time. As for the Claritin, I take one every day in the morning. I know they recommend starting on chemo day & continuing for about 5-7 days, but I have taken it every day since starting chemo and have had little to no bone pain. I hope it helps you!

josgirl - I'm sorry you and your fiance is having a hard time. This is a stressful thing for everyone for sure. I think it's almost harder on the people who DON'T have cancer, because they have all of these feelings that they don't know what to do with. We, the patients, have to just keep on keeping on, but really, what can everyone around us do? I hope you two can pull together and end up closer than ever.

Vanessa - I felt the same way about my hair. The lead-up to losing it was actually worse than now that it's gone. I'm too self conscious to not wear anything, so dealing with a hat, bandana or wig every day is getting old already, but I was so sick of my long-ish hair falling out everywhere. I let my kids cut mine, too, and I wasn't sad. I'm glad the airport security thing went well!

Hubby and I had a fun time at the casino. He ended up winning a little, which sort of made up for me NOT winning a little more. LOL It was nice to just do something fun and "normal" for once, that didn't revolve around cancer or how I was feeling. Between the drive (3 hours), a late night and a very long day today, followed by the drive home tonight, I am completely exhausted, though.

We had three appointments today. Since I am having neoadjuvant chemo, I still have surgery in my future. Today we met with the plastic surgeon. My breast surgeon recommended him and works with him often, and I feel comfortable with him. He has a good reputation and everyone in the plastic surgery clinic gushed over him. It was extremely odd to have nude photos taken of me (hubby threatened to break out his cell phone so he could be the first one to take a pic...LOL), and have someone examine me the way the plastic surgeon did. I thought after having two kids my modesty for stuff like that would be out the window, but I guess not. I learned that despite being a ... ahem... healthy & hearty girl, I do not have enough stomach fat to use for reconstruction. I also don't have enough inner thigh fat to use. Ummm.... not sure what he was looking at! Since I am facing rads after surgery, I will have expanders put in and permanent reconstruction will be delayed 6-7 months. I'm assuming this is normal? At that point we will revisit the options. I told hubby I guess I could try to get fat between now & then so the PS would have something to work with. (Really, I'm not exactly skinny - I weigh 145 lbs!!!).

Anyway, our next appointment was with the gynecological oncologist. Since I'm BRCA 2+, I will need to have my ovaries & tubes removed, and since I'll most likely be on Tamoxifen for 10 yrs, she will take my uterus too. Since I'm young and healthy (other than the cancer!) she said they could probably do this surgery at the same time as my bilateral mx, but it makes for a VERY long surgery. Of course there are risks with that, but considering my surgeons are 3 hours away from my home, it would be nice to have it all in one surgery/hospital stay. It makes me nervous, though, to think about all of that being done at once. She said in older patients they wouldn't even consider it, but with people 35-40 it's being done more and more. I've never had any major surgery, so I really don't know how to feel about it.

Last we saw my breast surgeon again. I was a little peeved that she didn't really comment on my tumor. To me it feels a LOT smaller.... she asked me if I thought it did, but then when she examined me she said nothing. I didn't ask because I didn't want to hear "Oh no, it's about the same". I figured I'll just keep on thinking that the chemo is shrinking it!

We will have to go back to have imaging done (breast MRI & ultrasound, mammogram and pelvic ultrasound) and meet with all three doctors again in mid December, and my surgery will probably be last week of December/first week of January.

Those of you who have had surgery already and had bilateral mx, did you have sentinel node biopsy done on the "good" side? My surgeon mentioned this and said she recommends it but doesn't insist on it, and about 50% of people choose not to. The only thing I can find about why not is the risk of lymphedema, right? If I'm already messing with the lymph nodes on my bad side, then it's risky to go after some on the other side. But... if you don't do the SNB and something shows up later, then they have to remove ALL of them on that side too. To me it sounds like 6 in one hand, half a dozen in the other. I guess I need some other perspectives and opinions.

Thanks for reading my book if you've made it this far! :-) I'm glad to be back home with my kiddos!

Sheila, I was on the pill for 14 years. No pregnancies. Dense breasts. Worked in a neuroscience lab around some really noxious chemicals for a time too. I had not heard of Haleven, I'm going to go look it up. I'm so sorry about your side effects..hang in there! ~nichole