Just diagnosed, now what?

Hi Jianchi,

I just found out the results of my biopsy yesterday and cancer was also found. Like you I am just in shock and scared. My MRI is next week to help determine the treatment. Like you I don't want to talk to my family and husband all the time about this although they are loving and supportive (but don't all know yet!). All I can say to you for now is you are not alone and reading all the posts on here certainly proves that. We will get through this!

Get all your information together and then consult with docs. If you have a nurse navigator you are ahead of the game already, having someone to help you steer thru the appointments. As you read thru theads here on bco you will find many people who have had similar diagnoses as yours- we all were blindsided by the shocking news and then have to find our way thru. If you are not sure of what your docs recommend- get second opinions! You must feel comfortable with what they recommend to do and then with your decisions. But first wait for the pathology report, and see what they are recommending. Being diagnosed is your first step towards a recovery- and seeing your son grow up to be a big boy:)

Hi Jianchi. So sorry you are here, but welcome. You are in the most stressful time period of this whole mess right now. Once you have your pathology report and your first appt. with the surgeon, you will have your staging, the grade of your tumor (slow growing or aggressive), whether you are estrogen/progesterone + or - and whether your tumor expresses the HER2 neu protein or not. Your surgeon will recommend either lumpectomy or mastectomy. Chemo will also be discussed.

Some doctors choose to do surgery first then chemo, others chose chemo first. This is usually done to shrink large tumors so that a lumpectomy can be done versus a mastectomy. Your tumor is not large, but your doc still may choose chemo first. Once you have gotten through all your initial appointments and have a plan for surgery and treatment in place- believe it or not- you WILL feel better. Surgery and chemo suck- no doubt about it, but it is doable and you will get through this. I kept my focus on my kids (5 and 8 at diagnosis). They were awesome during it all, helpful and loving. Please let us know when you get your pathology reports and we can help guide you to the threads that match your particular stats. Best wishes, Tiffany

We all go through the "what ifs". I too thought I would never see my kids grow up and sometimes I still feel that way even 3 years out. We took the kids to Disney World 6 months after my last chemo and during the fireworks one night I sat there and cried thinking this may be the last time I ever do something this amazing with my kids. I was wrong. We have had lots of memorable times since then. It does get better.

One important thing to do while waiting- stay off the internet!! It is full of outdated and just scary info. Stay here at BCO to get your info. A second opinion is always helpful if you feel your doctor is not doing enough or perhaps too much.

Yes, I feel very lucky to be 3 years past. The fear of it coming back is always there and only those that experience it first hand truly understand. That's why when people ask me "are you cured now?", I say, there is no "cure" for breast cancer, but right now I am cancer free. They usually just look at me weird and wander away!

Once you get your path report and you find the threads that pertain to you- you will find so many wonderful women that are a wealth on information and support.

Here is my history. I am Stage 1b (2 tumors with extensive DCIS). Right mastectomy with tissue expander placement for reconstruction. I am triple negative - the cancer does not "feed" on estrogen, progesterone or have the HER2 neu protein. In other words they have no idea what causes the cancer in triple negative patients. I had 4 rounds of chemo of Taxotere and Cytoxan. Had the tissue expander removed and an implant put in.

Jianchi,
so sorry you found yourself here. It is very hard to hear the diagnosis and the fear of the unknown is probably the hardest part for most of us. Once you have your medical team in place, you will more than likely have more testing done. It's very important that you trust your Dr's, so if you are not comfortable with one, don't feel bad about getting a second opinion. Your intuition may not kick in right away b/c you are over-whelmed with emotions, but give it some time and it will come back. Take one day at a time, keep yourself busy. You will want to get your medical reports, etc. That doesn't mean you have to look at them or research right away. You will eventually have questions to ask your Drs before appts, etc. Take someone with you when you go to appts. I had my BFF go with me on my first onc appts...thank goodness! I was a mess that day, but just having my friend there for support made all the difference. You may have a breast cancer support group nearby that can also guide you to available resources. Don't beat yourself up; this is about you and it's okay to be afraid, cry, etc. Everyone here has been there and will share whatever they can with you to help you get through it.
(((HUGS)))

Hi Jianchi! Try not to panic. I know that's easier said than done. Been there, done that. Just know things will get better once you talk to your medical team and there is a plan. I worried myself sick before I finally got to talk to my Oncologist. As you can see, mine was pretty aggressive and he set my mind at ease right away. He never said it was going to be easy but he did say he expected me to live a long life. Now I know that with cancer, there's always a chance it will recur but I"m going to hold my Oncologist to his word!! We're all here for you. Hang in there!

Jianchi - I was in your position just a couple months ago. I'm also 34, assumed my lump was a fibroid, was shocked to learn it was cancer. I'm also pregnant with my second son and currently undergoing chemo as my tumor was quite aggressive. Like others posted, until you find out the pathology, there is not much you can do. I don't think there's a need to get a second opinion until you get the results back, but after you do I would certainly get second opinions on treatment options, especially if you live near a cancer center. I am in CA and fortunate enough to live near some top cancer centers and made sure to get opinions from each of them. I'm so glad I did - I now get treatment all in one place.

I totally understand how you feel, at first I was nervous to read and investigate because I just felt like my days with my sons were numbered. I would rock my two year old to sleep thinking I would die before he would even remember me. Now that I know more and more as I've gone through each stage, I feel very confident I will be around for a long time! I'm glad you have support from your husband's family, that will be key as you continue on this journey.

Sorry for your diagnoses all, but welcome to BCO.

Lonnie - I did ACT (4 x AC plus 12 x T). I did not gain weight. As a matter of fact, I lost 25 lbs. during my chemo. Especially during AC, I found it very hard to eat. However, do not get discouraged. We are all trying to stay alive for ourselves and our loved ones. I too have two small children. I would do chemo all over again. I do not have a shred of regret with respect to my treatment plan which was quite aggressive. (As a matter of fact, I wanted to do even more but was shut down by three oncologists as to radiation). I hope you get through treatment without any issues. This too shall pass.

Young Turk

Hi youngturknyc,

I totally agree with you, I told my oncologist that I do not want to play it safe with treatment. I had ten nodes removed and two of the ten had what they call "microscopic cancer". He has already told me that I don't need radiation, but I am getting a second opinion from a radiation oncologist on Thursday. Apparently, they only do radiation if it hit 3 or more nodes. He assured me that the chemo will take care of the microscopic cancer that was found. It just scares me to know that it is there...you know? Will see what the radiation oncologist says.

Thank you for your encouraging words.

Jianchi- I will be thinking of you today! Hugs and good thoughts coming to you!

Tiffany