No more!!!

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rhymeblue
rhymeblue Member Posts: 18
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts


that saying - when it rains it pours - well it's raining and pouring over here. since my bmx last june i have had two other surgeries - first to put in implants, second to take them out (first were textured and caused an infection and pain) and replace them. i am still looking at another surgery to pretty things up but i am still uncomfortable b/c these lumps on my chest don't feel right. i always know they are there. then, last week, i found out i have a tear in the labrum of my right hip that requires surgery!!! imagine a bc patient uncomfortable with implants walking on crutches! it goes on - my husband had part of his colon removed 2.5 yrs ago and in 2 wks is having his whole colon removed. i lost my mom 5 days after my last surgery. wtf right? yes i have a therapist. yes i love my job. yes i have an amazing daughter. but i feel like i am moving into some super disconnected place. we are in our 40s and have led healthy lives - i can't process...my husband wants to know why we don't have sex - uh - what's that? :) but seriously what do you do when there's just too much ahead and you can't avoid what's coming? and when what's already happened is still all over you? i live in a small city without many resources but we are both being treated at mayo - it's where we go for vacations these days. just venting - starting to anticipate whatever other darknesses are around the corner. you are all so strong makes me feel better knowing you are there. thx for bearing with me...

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited October 2013


    Wow! What a lot you have on your plate to digest! It seems overwhelming. No wonder you feel so down and blue - you would have been Wonderwoman if you didn't! Only advice I have is to break it down into smaller segments, take it day by day, and to just focus on what is immediately ahead. Then just put one foot in front of the other, and just get through that one thing. Then you start on the next 'project'. Maybe relaxing yoga breathing techniques may be helpful to release the tension and stress whenever your circumstances threaten to overwhelm you. It was a great help to me. You probably cannot start or do yoga right now, but you can google the breathing exercises to help you relax, and find some inner calm and peace. You are still young, this miserable phase in your life WILL eventually pass, and you will have great times again. Big hugs to you!

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  • rhymeblue
    rhymeblue Member Posts: 18
    edited October 2013


    thank you liefie - good words and suggestions. i need to learn how to take smaller steps and not freak out about everything all at once. i think in psychiatry that's called "flooding" - i have a tendency towards that. really appreciate your post.

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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited October 2013


    Life has a habit of throwing all sorts of things at us and they seem to pile up every now and then to the point it seems we can't see the end of them...........my advice? don't try. Just tackle on thing at a time and you will find that before long you are through the pile and the light at the end is very bright. A long time ago I learned that living one day at a time is the best way to get through life without too many hiccups.


    Hoping you can try to do this for yourself as I know it will make your life a whole lot easier to cope with. Best of luck!


    Love n hugs. Chrissy

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited October 2013


    It really, really helped me to treat my bc as a temporary stumbling block. I resigned myself to the fact that it was going to take a chunk of time out of my life, and treated it as a project to be completed in stages. Not that I invited or asked for this devastating disease, but it is what it is, and will run its course whether you work with it or not. The more objectively you look at it, the more matter-of-factly you will handle it. It saved my sanity. Today, almost 2 years out from diagnosis, my life is back to normal, and way better than it was before. I'm eating healthy, exercising daily, and I'm much more aware that my life will not go on forever. I have this day, and I must make the best of every moment, because there are no guarantees. Best wishes to you!

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  • rhymeblue
    rhymeblue Member Posts: 18
    edited October 2013


    thank you for the reminder. deep breath ;)

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