Starting Chemo July 2013

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  • Cherri3
    Cherri3 Member Posts: 31
    edited October 2013

    Hi Girlstrong, thanks for sharing. It was a splitting headache and I thought if I look into the mirror, I can see throbbing veins. Well, at least I am normal. I took panadol to ease it off.

    I think more headaches to come, I am getting them intermittently too after my 3rd weekly chemo.  Another 7 weeks to go, sigh...

    Endure... Love to all

  • Hannariggs
    Hannariggs Member Posts: 137
    edited October 2013

    Hi All, 

        Just finished with Taxol 5 yesterday with 7 left!  Will be finished with Taxol by Thanksgiving and radiation by Christmas.  So looking forward to the new year.  Always hated the number 13 now I know why.  My daughter is hosting a wine pour at her store for breast cancer month.   A "drink for the pink" event with alot of nice silent auction items. It is so nice to see the community and the nation recognise all of us sisters all over the world infected with this disease.  Hopefully they will find a cure soon.  I asked out local cancer center her in Iowa what their number 1 cancer was. I was surprised to hear that it was lung cancer.  I am so wrapped up in my type of cancer that I forget how many others have it so far worse.  I only hope and pray for all of us that it never returns.  I guess it makes me feel how lucky I am that mine was definitely treatable.  So even though I sit here feeling tired, stiff and cranky.  I am truly blessed.  Roll on winter...........

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited October 2013


    Hi All,feeling the pain of #3 Taxol,on my 3 yr anniversary no less,but Hannariggs you are right,there is much worse out there. Cherri,headaches are par for the course,I know what you mean by pulsing head pain,it's almost like you're having a stroke,I can feel every heart beat in my temples. I'm having a hard time watching the tv,because it's breast ca awareness month it seems it's everywhere. I'm a poster child for getting your mammogram being even my doc didn't feel a lump and i have no family history,routine mammo at 48 saved me (hopefully). I still feel that I'm in a bad dream though,I look at other bc survivors and their stories and think wow,but don't connect that i'm one of them.Weird,right,I don't think i've realized that i'm a bc cancer person yet. Just trying to get through the next step and not fully getting it. Hugs to all of us,it will become real maybe after we've fought the fight. Angela

  • Rambo50
    Rambo50 Member Posts: 140
    edited October 2013


    Hi All,


    I've been out of the loop for a while - just trying to keep up with life and Taxol, unsuccessfully I might add! But I just had to jump on and respond to you, Angela. Your sentiments about not quite feeling like a BC person/survivor are familiar. Thought maybe it was just ME! By the way, Happy Anniversary!


    I got really mad the other day listening to an ad on the radio in my car about "living healthy" to reduce your risk for the big C - eat healthy (check), watch your weight (check), exercise regularly (check), and get recommended screenings (check - 15 years' worth, starting at age 35, and mine was missed!!!). I nearly ran off the road screaming at the radio... Not that mammos aren't very valuable, I just sometimes feel cheated. Well, all the more reason to fight, right?


    Anyone had luck with glutamine for Taxol aches and pains? It's not working for me, so I've resorted to pain pills again and HATE it!


    Did get some "good" news from my MO, though. Since the T's not knocking out my WBCs like the A/C, he said I could have fresh fruit, salad, and eat out!!! SO excited :):):)


    Hugs all you Firecrackers,


    Lynn

  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited October 2013


    Just checking in on the firecracker warriors. As I was throwing out some of the info they gave me I noticed a sheet that mentioned headaches were relatedto platelet counts I know that doesn't lessen your pain any but at least you know it's normal and related to chemo.


    One thing I learned is keep that remote close by in October. Can't stand all the breast cancer commercials. I have to mute them or turn the channel.


    Rambo it drives me crazy also to hear all the prevention stuff. I look at people around me and I eat way healthier,exercise more and weigh less than most of the women over 35 and here I am. Hell I'm not even tall(an alleged risk factor). I hate that I look at every bit of food and wonder if it causes cancer while everyone else just eats.

  • GraceB1
    GraceB1 Member Posts: 213
    edited October 2013


    Had my first taxotere treatment yesterday and all went smoothly but when I woke up this morning my face was red like a big blush. Anyone know if this is from the steroids for the taxotere? So nice not to be nauseated with this treatment.

  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited October 2013


    Grace I don't know if it's the steroids or chemo but I had that too. It seems to last for a few days and then the following week I thought my skin looked better than before chemo. Congrats on getting one down.

  • Hannariggs
    Hannariggs Member Posts: 137
    edited October 2013


    Hi Girls,


    I concur with Rambo. I have gone over and over in my mind of what "may" have caused the cancer and you know what? I don't think there was a reason. It just happened. Could have been the air, the water, the food. Who knows? I have always been diet prone, exercised too, but Like you said Rambo, we can do everything right and still get it. Makes me crazy to see someone puffing on their cancer stick(cigarette),or unhealthy, and yet nothing happens to them. It was our destiny, yet with treatment we have a second chance. Some will not get so lucky. So in the meantime, I have decided to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. After treatments there will then be enough time to get on a well balanced diet again. I am hoping that the not so good foods I am eating I will hate after the tastebuds return. lol. I believe in being healthy but I also believe in living and after this crazy roller coaster of a ride we are on, I plan on doing just that. IFF it returns. Then it returns. It is out of our hands and into Gods. Enough ranting, thanks for listening. I am so ready to get off this ride and start living again...............

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited October 2013


    Hi All, Who knows why we got this,but we did and we are dealing with it as best we can. It sucks but I'm proud of all of us.We continue on,some of you even work through this.My husband said last night he could never manage chemo,he said he would be in the hospital on a morphine drip.So we are doing really well and if we need painkillers,want to eat icecream,fried foods,whatever,so what?I still take care of my children(as many others),drag myself out of bed and cook dinners,go on family day trips,go food shopping,put my best face forward so as not to upset family.We all do and that's something to be really proud of.Hugs all,Angela

  • Rambo50
    Rambo50 Member Posts: 140
    edited October 2013


    IFF it returns. Then it returns. (HannaRiggs)


    NO-NO-NO!!! I've met too many people lately (2 at the cancer center) with a recurrence - and I know there are several HERE! But, I can't EVEN let my mind go there right now (I think then I would actually crawl into a hole and die). I'm counting down to my last chemo on October 30, scans in November, then my surgeries in December. I know we can't count on or bargain for even one more day, but ladies, I have my heart set on an AMAZING 2014!!!


    And, Hanna, I'm with you about getting back to the "good" foods! Before BC I'd been a healthy eater, living on lots of fresh fruits, salads and such, but HAVE been eating a bunch of junk, only because it's all that has a taste! Have a "drink for the pink" for me!


    And - one more thing while I'm on my soap box ;-) - don't you just HATE it when people say, "Wow! You look so good!!!"??? Especially when you really feel like SHI#! I'm so tired of just smiling and saying, "Thanks" when I really want to give them an earful! Whew. (sorry)


    TwoHobbies - interesting about the platelet count and headaches; mine were worse with the A/C that knocked out my counts. I still have them, but not as bad - the aches and pains elsewhere are my current battle :) And Tall is a risk factor??? I'm not either, but hadn't heard THAT one! But I've had 2 children and breastfed BOTH past 6 months (my first for 14 months). Maybe the BRCA thing trumps lifestyle efforts?


    Grace - I've had many "flushed" moments since starting Taxol. Yesterday morning I was at an event with my Dean and felt like my face was going to melt off!!! Thank goodness he knows where I am in this ;-)


    Neuropathy has kicked in this round for me. Not horrible, but a noticeable tingliness in my fingers and toes (and my lips and tongue!), along with some loss of strength to open jars and things (argh!!!).


    So, I'm going to go breathe some fresh air on my back deck before the rain comes in, then sit down with my faithful canine companion and try to plan for my next class before the pain meds kick in... ;-)


    Hugs all you fighters!


    Lynn

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited October 2013


    hi ladies, i will have my fifth treatment this wednesday not looking forward at all. sometime i feel like why going thru this treatment when eventually it coming back any way. rambo, yes i kno the thought of recurrance make me chill all the time. i try not to think about it but so hard. take care ladies!!!!!

  • SweetheartinTX
    SweetheartinTX Member Posts: 58
    edited October 2013


    hi Ladies! I know I have been MIA for awhile. Kids, school, and life has just had me going in different directions. However, I do check in and read from time to time because y'all keep me remembering that i am not alone!!


    I got my first round of Taxotere last Wednesday. And today has been HELL. I am in so much pain. It's very strange, it doesn't stay in the same spot, it isn't consistent, and I can't explain it well. It's bone and muscle. I am getting spasms and all. My tongue also hurts. I took a Vicodin this morning but with no relief. I also tried a hot bath and that only helped for a very short time ( 15 minutes).


    Anyone else experiencing this pain?

  • lark
    lark Member Posts: 61
    edited October 2013


    sweetheart - yes I've had similar pain with taxol. Weird pains that happen suddenly in different places. My mo says it's normal, but that doesnt make it any better! Yours sound more severe. I can usually just take pain meds at night. Mine usually last just a couple of days then gradually get better. Hope you feel better quickly.


    Ive been absent for awhile too, but theres a lot going on. Had #3 out of 4 taxol on Thursday. My blood counts were still very low and yesterday I had a fever that would vary between 100.2-100.8. Im supposed to call if its 100.4 but I didnt. Was afraid the on call doc would tell me to go to the hospital and I'd rather wait to see my own doc. So far no fever this morning but I'll keep an eye on it. I was wondering if my temperature goes up because of hot flashes or if its really a sign of infection.


    Talked to a genetic counselor when I was there on Thursday. . My insurance is supposed to cover the testing since i'm triple negative and under 60. We havent done the blood work yet, she didnt come back in time when i was there for chemo so now i'm waiting for her to call and schedule it. More anxiety and waiting. I tried to follow the triple negative forum on here but it was too depressing and was just upsetting me.


    I've been getting angry at people who say 'yippee, only one more to go!' I dont know what to say that doesnt make me sound like i'm just being negative or feeling sorry for myself. But really, would they celebrate going for a root canal? And is this really over after the last treatment? NO!! The anxiety of every follow up is going to drive me batty. I dont even want to ring that **** bell! Maybe I'll be ready to celebrate when I start to look and feel like myself again. I was venting some of this to my favorite nurse last week. She said its pretty common for women near the end of treatment to feel more anxious about reccurence. Im trying not to let my mind go there, but its hard not to. She suggested a survivorship program through Living Beyond Breast Cancer. I dont know yet if I'll do it. I just want some time off from all of this. Anyone else know about survivorship programs?


    Sorry this is so long. Hang in there sisters.

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited October 2013


    Hi All,Sweetheart taxol has been absolute hell for me in terms of pain,and yeah Lark just one more agonizing treatment is nothing to celebrate but there is an end in sight. I'm on day 6 and still can't sleep or get comfortable no matter what,it's so horrible. I'm friendly with a woman in my clinic who was 2 txs ahead of me and lark she said the same thing at her last tx,not feeling so wonderful with the last one. I think it's a bit like post traumatic stress syndrome,I know for me i'll always be waiting for the next "bomb"to go off.I've been putting off joining any group or getting counceling but i know i'm going to need it.Hugs everyone,Angela

  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Member Posts: 156
    edited October 2013


    SweetheartinTX - I have had the same thing with taxotere and I compare it to fireworks in the sky: they are random explosions all over the place that don't last very long but constantly move. Although, I sometimes can't tell where the taxotere pain ends and the neulasta pain begins for me. I have a couple days of that and need my Dilaudid at night to get any sleep.


    I've also had some neuropathy kick in after round 4 of TC. I'm scare to death of the remaining two cycles now, that this will get far worse. I will meet with the MO right before my next infusion but I'm wondering if I should try to see her this week also - to discuss changing anything or to be advised what I can do to minimize worsening neuropathy. I see so many mixed opinions here on icing, supplements, etc. or possibly by next taxotere dosage could be reduced. I just have mild tingling, numbness and aching in my left hand right now. What do you all think?

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited October 2013


    Millie, My chemo nurse said if the tingling didnt go a way you have to let them kno to avoid permenent neurophathy. somehow i found icing fingers help a lot with my tingling fingers.

  • SweetheartinTX
    SweetheartinTX Member Posts: 58
    edited October 2013


    lark- I too am triple negative. And yes, it is scary and reading the TNS threads scare the hell out of me. I am also BRCA 1 positive. I believe all these emotions are something that have to happen for us to get where we can really enjoy our lives again. I hope that you find something/someone that can help you feel better! ((Hugs))


    Angela and Mellie- yes, exactly. It sucks. It's driving me crazy. No neuropathy yet but I have only had one round. I also have heard that icing fingers can help.

  • Cherri3
    Cherri3 Member Posts: 31
    edited October 2013


    Hi Angela, yes, I can also feel my the heart beats in my temples. The hot flushes are killing me too, I often thought I am going to burnt alive or my ears are melting off. My oncologist gave my lorezapam to help with the hot flushes. My bones aches are getting bad too. Never one day I feel right.


    I had my 6th chemo yesterday! Another 6 more sessions to go. Am counting down...


    Like many of us here, I have been wondering why me too. And looking at the others, living such unhealthy life and they are all well! Smoking and drinking daily!


    I am putting on weight too. Chemo slows down our metabolism and steroids make us hungry :( Anyway, not the right time to slim down.


    Hugs to all....

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited October 2013


    Hi All,Mellie my onco diagnosed me with neuropathy last tx,my fingers are so swollen with numbness but he feels finishing up with this last tx(oct.15)is worth it.This chemo pain has been such a shock for me being everyone said it would be easier than ddac,it just goes to show how different we all react to things. So,Sweetheart try not to scare yourself with others stories,we are all unique. I know how you feel though,how can we not be terrified?Cherri,don't stress a bit about weight gain as women we are so pressured to look good,we're on chemo we're doing whatever to get through this,bald,blind,in pain,and alittle fat who cares.A friend of mine also gained weight and i think she looks so much healthier than skinny me. She glows! I'm just waiting and hoping this feeling everyone one talks about of this being a life changing experience that will make me enjoy everyday will come soon.At this point I can't stand getting through everyday and wish i could sleep through instead. I agree Cherri,not one day do i feel right either.Hugs Angela

  • 2bluestars
    2bluestars Member Posts: 89
    edited October 2013


    Another triple negative here too. I also tried to join the TNs thread since my chemo is coming to an end soon. I have one this Friday and the last on 25th. Looking forward to the end, but a little scared. I will have to wait 4 weeks before I can have my surgery, dmx. So I won't be getting any kind of treatment/checkups during that time. I'm trying not to freak out. Dr. says not to worry. Chemo will still be in my system and working, breast cancer is slow growing. In the off chance that a cancer cell is alive he'll get it during surgery and radiation will finish off any other strays. I'm going to try and just be me for those 4 weeks. Not think about cancer, just get everything ready for my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. I'll have surgery the week after, still waiting on a specific date. He could do it the week before Thanksgiving, but this way I can enjoy the holiday.


    DD Taxol #2 was a little harder. I actually cried with pain. Something I never do, I have a pretty healthy/high pain tolerance. Wasn't sobbing, just teary eyed due to those dang zingers, random little explosions of pain that randomly pop up here, then pop up over there..so strange and so painful. However, once they are gone, (this time it took 6 days, well 5 days of minor aches and pains, then the zingers moved in on day 6) they are gone and I feel pretty good, pretty normal. So far, I'd take taxol over red devil since I never felt fully recovered between treatments. I was always foggy and sluggish on the ac. My MO gave me lortab. He also said take the xanax and just sleep though it.


    I've also gained weight. Hungry all the time, and my taste buds still work fine, so that doesn't help. :-) I'll worry about it after the holidays.


    Thinking of and praying for all my pink sisters! Hope everyone feels better soon.

  • lark
    lark Member Posts: 61
    edited October 2013


    mellie- I have numbness/tingling in my fingertips and a little in my toes too. My doc wanted me to write down what day it starts and what day it goes away (if it goes away) before the next tx. She also asks alot of questions about whether I'm able to fasten buttons and things like that. The severity and how long it lasts will determine whether its worth cutting back or not. After 3 dd taxol mine has only gotten slightly worse. So dont assume it will be worse each time. I would call the chemo line if you're worried.


    Thanks everyone for understanding my anxiety. I think my grumpiness may also be due to being thrown into menopause and being depressed from having so few 'good' days. You're right nocompromises, that sometimes we just have to go through the emotions before we can be ready for a more positive outlook. I just wish I could say that this will all be over in two weeks with my last tx, but I know its not that simple. I'm sure I'll be glad to be done with chemo even though I wont feel it for awhile. I need to talk with my mo about what follow ups we'll be doing other than mammograms. I've already had radiation so i'm afraid we're just going to just be waiting to see what happens. As you all get closer to your last tx I'd be curious to hear what your follow up schedule will be... Blood work, mammograms, other scans??


    2bluestars - if your doc says its safe to wait until after thanksgiving then by all means enjoy the holiday. You need that to look forward to and the little break will let you gain strength for surgery.


    Take care girls. Praying for you all.

  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Member Posts: 156
    edited October 2013


    That's a good tip, lark. I'm going to write down my symptoms before meeting with the onc next time. I felt she rushed me out last time - she was running way behind going through lunchtime, and she's not my usual onc but someone filling in while mine is out on maternity leave. I'm going to see the sub again next week though and my own onc for the final treatment.


    I feel like other people here are communicating with their onc's better, like they are being asked the right questions. I sometimes feel like I'm going through this pretty blindly and I wouldn't know what the heck was going on if it wasn't for this website and reading all these threads.

  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited October 2013


    Rambo maybe you got cancer later because of you're good lifestyle. It does seem the brca makes it harder to avoid. I'm waiting on my results right now.


    Sweetheart yes I had that taxotere pain. From my jaw all the way down. Felt like someone was twisting my muscles up on some torture machine.


    Lark I went through some counseling after my first cancer run through. For me the emotions did get worse later because recovery is slow and fatigue was great. It was kind of a "is this what I wanted to live for" feeling. So don't anyone be afraid to get help and be kind to yourself and keep up your support.


    Today my husband said my breast was really red from the rads. I told him nobody cares. So we were "laughing" about what would it take to alarm an oncologist. Nothing I ever brought up to MO alarmed her. Think about that. Your scalp itches and breaks out. Your hair falls out. My heart pounded for two days. Can't taste can't poop. Mouth breaking out in sores. Muscles hurt like hell. I even fell down once when my legs gave out. Fingers go numb and fingernails hurt so bad I want to cry. Couldn't stay awake for three hours at a time. Can't have sex without getting a UTI. Rash all over my hand. Vein red and itchy. Fever. Eye swelled from a sty. Eyelashes and brows fell out. As my DH said. "Ok see you next Thursday! So we have been through a lot!

  • Cherri3
    Cherri3 Member Posts: 31
    edited October 2013


    LOL two hobbies...that was a pretty long and funny list. I got this impression too from my last talk with the onco. My muscles ached, my pulsing headaches, my yeast infections, those rashes on my feet and hand... At the end of my whines, she said I am good to go. haha...


    Hi Angela, I wish I could sleep through too. I hate those restless legs. They feel numb and with electric currents.


    Hi Lark, my last chemo will be mid Nov. My onco said no more scans, just 4 weeks of radiation. My next scheduled mammogram is early February 2014. Both my onco and breast surgeon told me, no point exposing me to more radiation by going for more ct scan or pet scan etc. There is so much that a body can take chemo drugs. And any detection of another tumour now is not going to make a difference. gosh...I don't understand.


    I started having rashes...on feet and hand, not only vaginal area now. Sigh... Just want to quickly get to the end of chemo. Its the third day after my chemo and the fatigue is kicking in.


    Taking care of my 1 year old gal is not getting me any rest either, I thought I should be resting but I am crawling around.


    Anyway...life goes on, with pain for now but with hope too.


    Cheers to all.

  • soriya123
    soriya123 Member Posts: 662
    edited October 2013


    awww....so sorry Ladiesto hear about your SE....seems like one SE after another. :( As for me loosing appetite is the biggest part, 2nd fatique but i can manage that. Naseau i have zofran under control. will see how my TCH #5 going to be like tomorrow cus seems like each treatment hit me harder and harder....suck... every treatment i feel so sad n depress....my head always in the dark. Hugs to all!!!!

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited October 2013


    Hi All,Twohobbies,you cracked me up,you're so right.it's nice to laugh once in a while,thanks,Angela

  • lark
    lark Member Posts: 61
    edited October 2013


    twohobbies - thanks for making me smile. Did you ever see the u tube video of the little boy after anesthesia asking 'is this real life?' Thats what this makes me think of. You'll have an intersting tan line by the time you're finished with radiation to add to your list of odd se's. Hope they advised you to use a good lotion (mine said aquafor) a couple times a day on the radiated area. It does help alot. I had one area that got rashy/itchy and hydrocortisone helped that. Theres also a prescription cream called silvadeen (i think) which can help if the redness becomes uncomfortable. I needed this around the nipple because the skin got so red and tender. Good luck.


    Good news is I was able to get the blood work done yesterday for the genetic testing. Now 4-6 weeks of waiting. I shouldve done it earlier but was procrastinating. Decided to have the test which checks 25 diifferent genes, not just brca since theres also colon cancer on both sides of my family. Let us know twohobbies when you get your results.


    Cherri- What a great mom for crawling around with your baby when you're exhausted and feel like hell. Amazing what we can do for our kids.


    Mellie - i had a different onc last tx while mine was sick. I felt like we didnt cover everything either. A chemo nurse always makes a list of all of my se's and then the dr talks with me about each one. He didnt go through the list as methodically as she does. I'll be better prepared to ask him to do that next time just in case mine isnt there.

  • DonnaD08
    DonnaD08 Member Posts: 128
    edited October 2013


    I know exactly how you feel Lark. I too find myself feeling anxious now that treatments are coming to an end. However mine is also due to the fact that I am dealing with a recurrence and I too am triple negative. The first time I really thought I was done. It was stage 1 after all and my oncologist said it was curable. I was on cloud nine when I finished my treatment. Unfortunately 5 months later I did have a local recurrence. Actually all of my doctors feel like it might have been there all along. Anyway after going through chemo twice I wasn't quite so rosy. However I am also trying to work through that. Even though I believe we are all fully justified to our feelings, I do feel that if cancer takes over our lives then it wins even though it didn't kill us. Whatever you have to do to get you through you do it. This is one time in our life that we can be completely selfish. BTW after my first treatment my MO basically said I wouldn't have anymore scans. However after this time when I expressed my concerns over recurrence he did order a CT scan for me to ease my mind. I just did it today, so I am praying for good news. I truly believe that I will hear that the cancer still hasn't spread anywhere else. I have to stay positive until I have a reason not to. Hang in there sweetie. Know that you are not alone and we will get through this.

  • Nocompromises2013
    Nocompromises2013 Member Posts: 292
    edited October 2013


    wise words indeed DonnaD08.


    Stay positive UNTIL there is a reason not to

  • angelanature
    angelanature Member Posts: 179
    edited October 2013


    Hi All,very inspirational Donna,when I'm feeling sorry for myself I will remember your words about not letting this cancer win,thankyou,Angela

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