My mum has breast cancer.

Options
ChristinneC
ChristinneC Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hello from Bucharest, Romania. My name is Christinne, I am 18 years old and incredibly scared.

Three weeks ago, my mum has found out she has a tumor in her left breast, she did a lot of tests and ended up having it removed because it was malignant. After the biopsy they said that it's in an advanced stage, but after another oncologyst saw her, she noticed that her nodes were not inflamed at all so she assumed that it's in a second stage. The fact that we don't know in which stage it is scares me more than anything.

Tomorrow is her first scheduled chemo session and I can't help but silently cry and hide from her so she doesn't see me like this.

I already suffer from various mental illnesses and am in my final year of high-school which was already hard to deal with so this came like a punch in the face for me. 

I want to stay strong for her, but seeing her weak and ill and all the happiness in her eyes gone it hurts and I don't know how to cope with it. I can't spend more than 5 minutes at the time with her because I just end up crying and I can't have her see me like this since she is already blaming herself for everything and constantly apologies for "hurting us".

I am writing this because I don't know who to turn to, my friends are not of much help and my family didn't even want me to know.

If I'm gonna lose my mum, I'm gonna lose the one person I love the most in this world, I don't know what to do with myself, please teach me how to cope with this?

Thank you, all the best,

Christinne

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Chickadee
    Chickadee Member Posts: 4,467
    edited September 2013

    Please don't waste the time you have with your mother hiding from her. She will take great comfort and pride in knowing she raised her daughter to be strong and loving. Your mother needs your hugs and your help. What if she does leave you soon? Would you not regret spending so little time with her because of your fears. I bet if you start crying she will wrap her arms around you and both of you will feel the love.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Charnyaramanh
    Charnyaramanh Member Posts: 8
    edited September 2013

    Hi Christinne,

    I know what you mean, been there done that.. you are scared because you love your mom so much, but you need to try and channelize that love into something positive... please realize your mom is probably 10 times more scared than you because it is her body that is facing all this and you will have to find the strength in you to support her and get her out of it. Reducing the stress level increases the body's immunity hence making the treatment more effective. So try to focus only on the positives.

     For me when I realized I could not face her because I was scared I created a mental box put all my fear and uncertainties in it and told myself "the doctors will take care of the cancer, I will take care of mom" and started doing things for her rather than thinking about cancer. I stared taking care of her diet, accompanied her on her morning walks, read to her so that she could sleep and helped her get back her self confidence. Today after two years I won’t say life is absolutely perfect there are still days when uncertainty hits me and I end up googling the whole day, but I feel happy that I was able to help mom become healthier. (Even healthier than before she was diagnosed with BC)

    Find your inner strength... everythings gonna be ok, dont worry

    BTW I still dont know what was my moms BC stage...

    Hugs

    Charanya

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • primrose83
    primrose83 Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2013


    Christinne,


    I am so very sorry that you have to go through this! It is devastating, I know, but please don't lose hope. Have faith that eventually thinks are going to adjust to a new normal and it is going to be ok. This is a moment when you need to be close to your mom and offer her your full support.


    I sent you a PM and we can talk more if you want.


    Hugs,


    R.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ChristinneC
    ChristinneC Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2013


    Thank you all for your support, I am sorry I didn't reply earlier, I've been doing nothing but going to school and helping my mum.


    She feels well after the first chemo session, she didn't throw up at all, even though she felt a bit ill and now after roughly two weeks, she's visiting her work from time to time, but don't worry, she's not over working herself. On Friday she is going to do some blood tests and I believe that on Monday she's going to have her second chemo session.


    Once again, thank you all so much for your replies, your support means a lot to me.


    Love,


    Christinne

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • tyre245
    tyre245 Member Posts: 1
    edited October 2013


    My mom was just diagnoised. She will have surgery next week. I don't how to be strong when I am falling apart.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories