Aunt with BC - no treatment

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Reflection
Reflection Member Posts: 4
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
I just got a phone call from my mom. Bad news. My aunt was dx today. She is eldery and had a stroke a few years back that left her with dementia (sp?)...doctor recommends not treating the cancer and just making sure she is not in pain. This is the pits. I kind of have to agree. She has an extremely short memory. Everytime she went in for treatment would be like finding out for the first time that you had bc. My aunt is the sweetest women in the world. She loves company even if she doesn't always remember who you are. I have seen her when she gets scared. I wouldn't want to see her go through that everytime she looked down wondering where her breast went or why they were poking more needles in her. I wish i was closer. I just want to hug her. This is really hard on my mom and dad. She lived with them for a few years after her stroke. I know this is tearing them up.

Sorry for rambling here. It just aches.........
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Comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2006
    I think that was kind of the doc not to make her a guinea pig for some grueling chemo treatment...

    Quality of life be it with dementia or cancer alone is really something to be reckoned with.

    I am sorry for your dear aunt, i hope you have beautiful memories of the wonderful life she had.

    Now as she slips away may she be surrounded in love, comfort and dignity...

    It is hard to accept, a loved one dying...i don't think it ever comes easy to those who survive...

    But you must celebrate her being and be sure she feels comfort and love and no pain.

    I try and understand this all the time, it helps...

    Everything that has a beginning has an end. And when you become comfortable with that, life is much easier...

    prayers of comfort and painfree days and nights for your dear aunt...
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  • Reflection
    Reflection Member Posts: 4
    edited July 2006

    Thanks Laura. I know this is the best course for my aunt. I don't know the exact diagnoses yet but the lump is the size of a golf ball and extends from the breast up into the underarm. The doctors haven't told us yet how advanced it is. The main thing I hope for my aunt is that they keep her out of pain. She truely is a wonderful women. Full of nothing but smiles and laughter. I know this is going to be hard of my family. This is the second aunt to be dx with breast cancer. My other aunt died about 3 years ago. Now this aunt. Also, I have an excisional biopsy this Friday, so I am afraid this has added to my families fears of my dx. I keep telling them odds are it is beign. But this has just added to their anxiety....and mine. Thank you for your kinds words they really do mean a lot.

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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited July 2006

    Sorry to hear. Nothing quite like one more problem to pile on your poor Aunt. Good luck to you and the family.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2006
    hope your biopsy gives you benign results on friday...

    staying stress free must be close to impossible right now...

    stay strong...good thoughts your way today...


    laura
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006

    I understand their decision, too much for her to handle right now. I will pray for your biopsy, take it one day at a time right now. You have to pace yourself.

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    "I have an excisional biopsy this Friday,"

    I am so sorry all this is going on for you and your family.
    My Aunt has dementia and it would be awful to put her through the treatment.

    I know with the family history you are worried , My sister was dx'd with BC last june and I had to have a excisonal
    the following Feb. scared the you know what out of me!
    I will be thinking B9 results for you please let us know how you are doing and the results of your report.

    Big Hug~
    Carrie
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  • normie45
    normie45 Member Posts: 11
    edited July 2006
    Best wishes reflection.

    I can totally understand your feelings about your aunt, your family and yourself. I think you are being very brave and honest and my thoughts are with you at such a difficult time.

    My mum's breast cancer has only just returned, but I underwent a scare myself a year ago on discovering a lump. Thankfully I was ok, but it took 2 months of worry before I was told. Thankfully my Mum's condition was diagnosed immediately and she is getting the treatment she needs immediately, although she is still in shock at the moment.

    Just wanted to say good luck for you, and what a great niece you are to consider the practicalities for your aunt. That shows true understanding and compassion and I wish more people were like you, considering the effects on the individual rather than the affect on the family/friends.

    I don't mean to appear harsh here, but totally with you on what is personally best for your aunt.

    Best wishes
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