Chemo May 2013
Comments
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Kerri congratulations. So happy for you. Now you can exhale.
Elkatho pepcid really helped me. But I don't know if it's stronger or weaker than prilosec. Glaf your rads are going fine so far. Gives me hope. Know the feeling. Sometimes I want to say F u AND go cry. Or cry and saw F u at the same time.
Lorrie good luck on your first zap. In fact good luck with all the zaps.
Gosh Pat never knew twins could be such opposites. I don't like that you have that meanness and negativity in your life.
Lisa so sorry your hubby suffers from daily pain. I feel badley for those in cronic pain and for their mates. It's difficult to see your loved one in pain on a daily basis.
Teresa glad you are feeling better.
Kate that is so sad about your friend. I couldn't imagine. It's a living nightmare.
A feel good day to all.
Carla -
Lorrie, invite the counselor to this group. He can do something for all of us! Group discount?
"Your arsenal or radiation lotions"...now picturing something like a shotgun rack on the wall full of creams, lotions and potions ready to grab.
Pat -
Lorrie...My Dr gave me the aquaphor. It is a little difficult to apply because it is thick but I put some in my hands then apply. I think it "heats" it up a bit. It can discolor you clothes. I have only noticed it on my bra but I plan on going for a fitting and buying new bras when this all done so I do not care. I was also told to only use dove for sensitive body wash on the area and Tom's of Maine deodorant. I found this at walgreens. No wash clothes or sponges on the area. I am a little tired but do not notice until the evening. For me it takes longer to change than zapped. Good luck.
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Pat,
My surgery is in SF. I'll be thinking of you in New Orleans on October 2nd and wishing you a speedy and uneventful recovery. I'm glad the cake was yummy.
Deb -
No zap today... Hour and a half of mapping & still not finished. I go back tomorrow to finish and get my first zap.
The techs are so nice there. The male tech wiped my tears as I had to stay in position holding the handlebar and couldn't wipe my own. And they try to keep you covered as much as possible. I told them not to worry about my modesty anymore, that "my boobs have seen more action in the past 6 months, than in my life".... They just laughed...
Got my schedule of 33. I'm kind of bummed that half of them are 6-730pm... It would have been nice to swing by the hospital on my way home from work... Oh well, just another inconvenience.. But it looks like oct 29 is my last one & I'm DONE with everything except taking a daily pill. Hopefully ill have some hair before the holidays
come. This years pictures will be different.... LOL
Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday! & sat, I get to help my oldest set up for her first annual harvest feast... (just a party with food & booz)... She says she wants me to help so she can have a couple early cocktails with just her mama..... Love that kid!
It's been nice to see this group suffering less & less & not going through chemo anymore! We kicked that part, right....?
Lorrie -
Off to the beach tomorrow for a long weekend before rads on Tuesday. My first vacation this summer. Love the beach in September. No crowds and quiet. Usually go for whole week in September but cancer ruined that. Will take what I can though and plan for longer vacation in the new year.
Lisa -
Wait... I counted one week twice! I'm only doing 28! WooHoo!
Have a great rime at the beach Lisa! -
Well, just a few minutes ago I was happy about my math error... Funny how something like that can lift your spirits...
Now they are dashed as I just got a call from my middle daughter that my mother, whom I haven't spoken to in over a decade, (pat has an evil twin... I have an evil mother) is in need of going int assisted living/nursing home & my DD wants me and my sister to step up and take care of things. I wonder if we can do this without having to deal with her. If I didn't know any better, I'd think the timing was on purpose on my mothers side. Knowing my struggles right now, she's not the center of everyone's universe. Can't have that!
I know I must sound like an evil daughter, but OMG... Y'all have no idea what she's like! She's diagnosed bipolar for as long as I can remember & I have had to have her committed 3 times in my 20s for attempted suicide. All deemed attention getting attempts by her Dr.s... She lies & believes her lies.... Fakes illnesses... Blablabla.... & I haven't even scratched the surface. You DEFINATELY don't need ALL the details.
I'll have to talk to my sis tonight and see where to start. She's probably not going to want to help so I may be on my own with it.
I'm being a little selfish righ now thinking 'can't this wait till I'm done & feeling good
enough to handle the additional stress?' oh boy........ -
Maybe we should rename thisgroup ....if it 's not cancer it's another thing.
Lorrie sorry you have to deal with your mom on top of everything else. Hopefully your sister will help.
Lisa -
True Lisa....... Sorry for my personal drama! Haha I'll figure it out....
So guess what! I had the energy tonight to help my hubby unload and stack a couple cordes of wood tonight... We need to do more in the next couple of days, but ..... Gosh it felt good to work! Sweat! And for sure I'll be sore tomorrow, but felt really good! Hubby kept asking if I needed a break & I'd say, "what? Keep stacking! We're not done yet!" LOL... gosh! I just can't express how good it felt to be helpful & active &.....
I went upstairs and had a few words with my treadmill tonight.... Dirty words! And decided I need more dirty talk with it before I actually turn it on and climb aboard (wink, wink)
So, okay, looks like I'll finally get my first zap tomorrow. I can't wait to get this going so I can be done!
Happy thoughts to all of you!
Lorrie -
Lorrie,
I will send the evil twin to help your evil mother.
Oh wait, sorry, she can't help anyone but herself.
I wonder what would happen if you didn't help her? Would the state appoint someone?
Sucks you are left holding the bag. Whatever you do don't sign anything that you will be financially responsible.
Congrats on the rads. I'm loving they end in October for you...doesn't sound as long as November would sound!
That burst of physical energy is amazing isn't it! Don't go crazy now. Expect that you will still have some "I'm f'n tired" moments...warn DH now....and even if you don't have those moments pull one every now and again....because you can!
I'm sure that treadmill is all revved up and ready to go after your dirty talk, be gentle.
Lisa, I bet September is great at the beach. Hope the weather cooperates for you.
Deb, I will be thinking of you on October 1. I wish the same for you...smooth sailing, quick and pain free healing.
One step closer to being done with this ordeal.
Pat -
I'm sorry for all of you dealing with difficult family members right now
I guess that's one benefit of not really having any family around..
Here's something inspirational = My DEAR DEAR great auntie Lily turns 100 today!!! She has been such a huge part of my life. They are having a party for her on Sunday - I so wish I could be there to see her. I would love to see her one more time - not sure how much more time she has left
Anyway - I wish long life to all of us....
So glad it's Friday!!!
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Lorrie never apologize. This is a safe place to vent about whatever crap is going on. I was attempting to be humorous because so many of us have stressers besides cancer. I apologize if it fell flat.
Lisa -
Kate...100. Wow! Maybe you can Skype into the party?
Sharing the "home stories" can be cathartic for the writer.
It also helps those reading, like Kate, to be grateful they aren't dealing with that BS. (Bullshit, not breast surgeon!)
And the happy stories like turning 100 puts a smile on our faces.
I didnt think you meant it in a "bad way" Lisa..I saw the humor, and "knowing" Lorrie she did too!
So grateful to all of you on these boards.
Pat -
And I really wish there was a "like" button on these boards...because then maybe I wouldn't talk so much! Lol
Pat -
Just watched Robin Roberts celebrate one year anniversary of her bone marrow transplant. Wow what an inspiration. I remember when I heard what chemo I was having I was scared shitless because I was having same treatments as she had for her bc.
Lisa -
Lorrie,
Was thinking of your unfavorable rads time.
Is there a "wait list" for earlier slots? I would imagine there ar e people having a final day of rads all the time...not like everyone starts on the same day!.....so there might be a better time for you that opens?
Time to buy flowers or bake a cake for the receptionist and have her look into that!
Lisa,
I don't watch much of TV, but I have seen some of Robins story. She is so inspirational. I love that she shares her story. I am sure she has helped many people. 1 year already!
Pat -
Lisa... I totally caught the humor..
Sometimes humor is the only thing that keeps me going.... ha ha
So I got my first zap today... I was doing fine as they were finshing up the mapping.. & Then when they said it was time for the treatment, I lost it... started crying & my body was jerking as I was trying to hold back the tears that wouldn't stop... couldn't control my breathing.. UGH! I was so embarrassed... they asked if I just wanted to come back and start them on Monday & I said "no"... I pulled myself together and got it done. I felt so dumb, but couldn't help it... I cried most of the way back to work. Blah! I'm so glad its the weekend! I'm just gonna have fun at my daughter's party tomorrow and not think about it. The next treatments shouldn't take long now that they have everything in the right spot (i hope). In and out! -- funny, when I got back to the area to get dressed, I slatthered half of the tube of lotioin they gave me to use 3 times a day.... LOL.. now my boob feels gross in my bra..... May have gone a little overboard this soon!
1/28 done
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Happy Birthday to Aunt Lilly!
I had a wonderful neighbor who lived to be 104. Her husband had passed away and they had no children - but everyone in the neighborhood loved Franny. On her 100th birthday, we rented a limo and rode around town with her to visit all of her friends that she hadn't been able to see in a while. Drank champagne too! She had a fabulous time....
Annie
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Lorrie Sometimes the crying comes when we don't want it to. There's no stopping it. It's emotional. I mean all of a sudden your whole body and mind probably said " Here we go again. No no no. I don't want too. I'm done. I'm emotionally and phyically done." Congratulations you did it. One down. 27 to go.
Patty Well then. I'm glad there's no like button because I like all your talking.
Kate. That certainly is inspirational 100 years old! Hope there is a way that you can visit her soon.
Lisa have agreat time on your beach vacation. Sounds wonderful.
All of a sudden, yesterday I had energy. Soent about 4 hours into cleaning my neglected home and walked about 2 hrs and grocery shopped at two stores. At the end of the day I was tired..but I was not fatigued. Feeling good today too. So grateful. Getting fitted next week for radiation. Until then I think I will breathe some fresh air.
A good weekend to all.
Carla -
Oh Annie. How touching. I could just imagine how happy Franny was being in that limo with such loving friends and visiting her other friends. What a glorious memory for you.
Carla -
Carla, yay for the energy coming back... It feels great! Enjoy it, but don't over do it... Not just yet! Congrats!
Wow... I can't even imagine living to 100.... How wonderful & I remember when I was a nurs and when I would be with an older person... All they wanted to do was share their stories from their life. They just wanted someone to listen... & the stories were always so amazing... I hope I have some great stories to share as well!
Well, I hope we ALL do!!! -
Thanks Lorrie. My legs and arms hurt because I've been staying busy being productive. But no fatigue.
Guess I ought to slow down so that it won't suddenly turn into fatigue.
I hope when I get older that I have a memory to tell any stories from my past. Lol. -
I have no memory. Never did.
So I won't have many,if any, stories to tell.
Wheni was a kid I would get terribly high fevers annually...as high as 105.
Soi suspect it "burned out" memory part.
I think that is Why I escaped chemo brain.
Oh, but amazingly my hubby says I can remember when he does things wrong! (Personally there is too he does wrong for me to remember! Lol)
Carla, I agree with Lorrie...feels great to "be back" but don't try to get it all done in one day.
Pat -
Wow... The thread is quiet today... That's actually good news! It means we are feeling well, I hope and busy enjoying life!
Went to my oldest 's harvest feast tonight and my DH, with good intentions, pissed off my sister by butting into my "mom" business and telling her that it shouldn't be left up to me and she should be helping me with it. My sis got pissed off and grabbed her hubby and son and stormed out of the party. I didn't even know what was going on until after they left. My DH probably was pushy about it. He said he was just trying to help me out, but my sis and i both can be bitchy (one of the things I love about her) & I can understand her not appreciating his lack of tact.... Now I've got more drama.... I love my sis. She's my best friend & I understand her reluctance with regards to our mother.... I also love my hubby and understand his wanting to try to take some burden off me. Argh!
Now my hubby is mad at my sis, for the first time in over 20 years, & it puts me in a really awkward feeling place..... The hour long ride home was really quiet & I just kept telling him not to "stew"
For the first time I wanted to tell them, "stop!" "Let's talk about cancer".....LOL, just to change the subject.
Oh we'll.... Ill give it a day or so and apologize for whatever my DH said..... Even though I still have no idea what actually happened. I was busy talking about fantacy football with my BIL.... i just don't need anything else right now.... Not yet! I need to handle things with the mother & finish rads & then... We can all live happily ever after! Haha
Energy is still good! Helped my DD prepare for her party. It was lovely & I'm so proud of her. It may be in my head because I've only had one zap, but I'm feeling my incision sites. I wouldn't say pain.... Just a twinge every now and then. I'm trying to remember if I've felt it recently (before starting radiation) but can't remember. I think it's just in my head right now & I've felt it all along. Maybe I was just use to it before and now I'm focusing on it.... Agh.. I'm gonna be a wreck over rads too! Haha
Anyway.... I hope everyone has a great day of FOOTBALL tomorrow! I'm gonna! Nothin planned but RELAXATUON! (And maybe a little laundry...)
Lorrie -
It was quiet yesterday. I had a pretty good day. Went to my sons soccer game at 9am. Then had a Dj gig from 12-4 and it was awesome. I felt good - really kept everyone entertained. Then I went out to dinner last night to celebrate my friend karine's 40th birthday. I've know her since I was preg with Aaron so she's one of my oldest NC friends. Anyway. It just felt good to be out and normal. Now all the hot flashes thru dinner didn't feel good!!!! Oh well. Just feeling more positive today. Yay!!!
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Lorrie,
We ARE all going to live happily ever after right?! (I keep praying that for all people)
Sounds like you are close to your sister- I'm sure it will work out. Hubby trying to protect you is so cool - he probably doesn't need the added stress either!
Had my SIL sleepover with her girls. I feel so bad for her. She is so stressed...work, the kids, her husband (hubby's brother-cut from the same cloth! Lol). I often wish we could all go back to "simpler" times...did they have as much stress?
Her kids were up at 6:00am, pat will not be a happy camper today! Taking my Girl Scouts Geocaching for 4 hours. I imagine an early bedtime for me, my kids better be on their best behavior today because I will be cranky! (Just saying that means it won't happen-right?)
This time next week I will be waking up in New Orleans (or even better, sleeping in!).
I'm sure this week is going to fly by. So much to do so little time and not enough closets to shove all the junk into....this house will be cleaned and organized one way or the other.before I leave damn it.
And my only serious down thoughts...what if I don't make it through this surgery.
I keep pushing it out of my mind, but....you never know. It's really not a heavy duty anesthesia so that shouldn't be an issue. I think hubby pushing the wedding has sparked that dark side thinking even more. So am I cleaning my house so when I come home from surgery I won't be looking at all the shit I need to do, or am I cleaning so that if I die and people drop and they will find it clean ?(at which point i wouldnt freakin care!)
Then again, when I survive this surgery the recovery is so long and i will be miserable that i might wish I were dead? (Yes, not nice to say, but looking for some humor!)
Sigh,
Time to clean, then go make some happy Girl Scout memories.
Pat -
Patty: Keep positive thoughts!, you are going to be fine, The recovery for me was about a month. Not bed ridden or anything, just need help with opening things, reaching, lieing down and getting up. My husband waited on me hand and foot and changed every drain! It made us closer than ever and it made me feel cherished by him. He also got a good dose of caring for our kids and cleaning while I was down, which I think made him appreciate all that I usually do to care for our family.
I am so glad everyone is finding their new normal, and that energy levels are climbing! Ya Us, its been a long year hasnt it.
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Pat,
I think we've all thought of our own mortality a bit more... But we are gonna be just fine. I refuse to believe that I've gone through all this to get better for nothin!
We are all paying our dues this year for a long & drama filled life, haha! -
Patty - hugs. I'm nervous any time I go under anesthesia (which has been a whopping twice!)....
I was pretty sore the first day after my mastectomy but every day got a little easier and it really wasn't that bad - and WAY easier than Chemo side effects. The worst part for me were the little nerve pains - you would get these pains that were kind of like electric shocks! That's the best way to describe them - and they sort of went on for a good few weeks after - but they weren't constant - you would just get a "poke" every now and again. I had a DJ gig about 15 days post mastectomy and although I wasn't able to lift, I got thru it okay. Let people help you out - the worst part is the first week when you still have the drains in and you can't shower (just mentally really)...
I had an AWESOME weekend - when was the last time I could say that? Went out to dinner Sat night, had a pedicure with a friend on Sunday and met a dear old friend for dinner on Sunday night (we have been trying to arrange this dinner for about a year!). Oh - and the Jets won and my fantasy team won! I'm almost not bothered about going back to work today!!!
xx
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