Chemo May 2013

Jenna,  Congratulations on finishing up chemo.  It's such a relief, hope you have few side effects.

Pat, All my best for a wonderful day tomorrow.

Lorrie, Glad you're feeling better and congratulations on the win.  

Hello ladies,

Sorry I have not posted all week. I went back to teaching full time, and I am exhausted! It seems alot has been happening on here! 

Patty, WOW a wedding, that was agreat idea! Your hubby seems so sweet. I hope you have a spectacular day, you deserve it!

Jenna, congrats on crossing the chemo finish line! You did it!

Kate, congrats on getting through surgery!, remember to take it easy, it took at least a month for me to heal enough to do normal things. Be good to yourself.

For all of you embarking on RADS, I wish you all speedy treatments and few side effects!

Lori, I wish you well with no worries, sucks to not know the full picture.

Deb and Pat, BMX is hard business, but glad I did it. I would have been the lady who had to start over again with treatment 6 months later. After all the neg screens, they found IDC in the "good" side. No sensation sucks.....but better for me than worrying that it would come back on the right was too much for me to handle... It was the right decision for me. My new girls are perky and symmetrical,,, never had that before! I am healing but still have an exhausted body to deal with. Just have to decide if I do the nipple recon or just go with the tats...Hubby and I are leaning toward the tats because he does not want to see me suffer through another surgery. 

I have my MO appointment Tuesday to talk about how the Tami is treating me. Still cant sleep due to all the sweating! I have resorted to wine before bed, it has been helping somewhat. I had read here on the boards about how hard it is mentally when treatments are over, I guess I am there but I am not sure, MO will let me know Tuesday I guess. My eyebrows and lashes are pretty scant as well, WTF..... Hair is covering my head but only about a quarter of an inch. I am totally lidless now though even though its short..So done with the head covers! Menstral cycle is still AWOL, I hope it does not come back, but am unsure of how this will affect my treatment plan. Anyone know? I am 46. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Hi Ladies.  Just wanted to let you know that my MO recommended Vitamin E to help with the hot flashes that started while on chemo.   I have to say it works.  I no longer wake up to a soaking wet pillow 2 or 3 times a night.  They have subsided tremondously.  Always check with your MO though before taking anything. 

It's been 1 week since I started Tamoxifen and so far no side effects.  I was worried that the hot flashes would get worse. 

Pat I am reading these posts at 1:43 CA time, That means 4:43 N.Y. time. You are just about to renew your vows. Exciting!! You did a spectacular job on getting prepared and I bet you are beautiful and radiant. Wish I could watch it via internet or something and have a piece of that delicious cake. If I were there I'd give you the biggest hug....I'm giving you one now. . I feel like this ceremony is for renewing your vows and a celebration for making it through all this shit. Congratulations Pat!

Gully so glad your girls are perky and symmetrical. ))) Hoping for better sleep for you and a good school year. And congratulations on the weight loss.

Jen thanks for the vitamin E tip. I won't be starting tamoxifen until after rads but will certainly keep that in mind.

Kate that's one of S.E. I don't like from surgery either.



Carla

Oh Lorrie I would be ferrous. So glad you got your report. Good timing to have your kids and grandkids around. Nothing you can do about it until tomorrow and today you have love surrounding you.



Trying to figure a way to explain fatigue to my loved ones. All I can come up is my head feels funny, often my ears ring. Breathe heavier. Can't do much because all of the above gets worse and I have to sit or lay down. My emotions are sensitive. And something that is new is if I feel a loved one is either disrespectful or passive aggressive or manipulative I either lose my temper or cry or both. Lack of energy to deal with it. This is how I think fatigue affects me.

May I ask how it affected or affects you.



Thanks - Carla

Well, the wedding is done.

It all worked out in the end.

I was a nervous wreck. (Why?)

Went topless...I think I left the family speechless! Lol

NOT looking forward to seeing pictures. Really don't know if I want to look back and remember this time...but it was a nice day.

Thank you for listening to all the prep and stress!



Pat

Pat I diddo Lorrie completely. Seeing the pictures in the future will remind you of how far you have come what you endured and God's grace that you made it. Congratulations on a great memorable day.



Carla

Congrats on the wedding Pat! is there a honeymoon in your future???? I think we all deserve a honeymoon after all we'ver been through!

Pat - I'm exhausted still too....I thought the energy would come back (slowly) pfc but I seem to be going the other way. Spent most of the weekend in bed surrounded by a dirty house....sigh!

Lorrie - when I met with my surgeon the first time after surgery I asked him about my margins. He said one of them was small as it was next to my chest wall and he would have had to dig into a rib to go any further. He said you want 1 mm or wider for a good margin and he couldn't get that for my one margin. I had my path report with me and showed him that all of my margins were 5mm and higher. He got kind of a blank look in his eyes and said "oh, must of been thinking of someone else" What!!! I was freaked out there for a minute. So maybe your Doc confused you with another patient....who knows, but I'd be furious also because they could have gone in and taken more out. Can they still do that? Let us know what happens....sending good thoughts your way.

Annie

And here is a little humor for today.





During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says, "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."



The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor.



"No ! No ! Don't remove your clothes.....Just stick out your tongue!"



Pat

Sound like everyone has had their share of ups and downs but glad to see everyone is still posting   Sorry, I've been MIA for awhile.  Just got to the point I couldn't talk about it anymore.  Finished my last dose of Chemo on August 21st!  Yay!!!  Cancer Center even sung to me - they do that for all patients which I thought is really nice.  Started Herceptin last week by itself.  That is a breese compared to chemo.  Started radiation therapy on September 3rd.  So far, no side effects, but I'm only 2 weeks into it so I'm sure the side effects are on their way

Sometimes I don't know how I keep my head together.  I'm so tired of no hair, eyelashes, etc...  I just want to feel like me again   My little brother is getting married in November and with all the weight gain and lack of hair, I sure don't feel very pretty.  Trying to get back on track with my eating to lose some of the lbs I picked up over the last several months.  August 2014 can't get here fast enough so that I can be done with treatment (other than tamoxifen) and get my port out!  Back to work fulltime except Herceptin treatment day...

Love all the positive posts from everyone - you are all special.  Have a super week!

Went for my pre surgical stuff today.

All went well except the blood draw hurt when she took the needle out...??? Never had that happen.



I spoke to the doctor about hubby. He has been forgetting conversations we have had about ""stuff". I honestly can't say for how long that has been happening, or if I am happening to notice more so lately. It's not like "wash the car" and he forgets (I'm used to that!)...it's about things we plan etc....

Anyhow, I booked an appointment for him. She said they would do bloodwork (isn't that the answer to everything) and check his testosterone. Also will likely refer to neurologist.

Informed hubby of this appointment and he "doesn't remember forgetting things" as much as he normally does.....hmmmm!



Lorrie,anything?



Pat

Lisa , did you try vitamin E for the hot flashes (with dr. Approval?)



Pat

Well...

Dr. Said that he went as close to my facia (sp?) - as close to my chest wall as possible... That's what he meant by "good". My hubby and I both swear he said clear, which put us at ease after surgery. But "it is what it is" and I'll do rads with the extra boosts on that site area. Even removing the whole breast would have been the same as they only get as close as possible to the lining, which in his "opinion" probably doesn't have any cancer cells that penetrated that wall.

I keep feeling the dented area and it does feel like skin over bone, like he took as much as possible between my chest wall and skin surface. (my inept & uneducated assumption.)



I'm oddly at peace with it... Especially after getting so freaked out. I'll ask my ROs opinion again when I see her next week & just move on to complete my treatments as scheduled. Chemo was suppose to kill cancer cells, rads will do more killing & tamoxifen will continue the maintenance. I'm not going to fret anymore about this effing crap.



Shoot! I'd take vit E for my hot flashes right now, but the RO recommends not to take extra amounts of vit e, c or a during radiation....

I can't imagine what the hot flashes will be like when I start the tamoxifen... As it is, I wake up at a minimum of 20 times a night whipping off the covers.... Covering back up..... Whipping them off again..



I hope the day will come when my doubts don't hit me every 10 minutes about decisions I've made throughout this.... I just want to be done and forget about this "journey" .... I'm starting to hate that word as much as cancer, hahaha.



Hope everyone is doing as well as possible. Pat, I hope nothing is wrong with the hubby... Maybe he's just pretending to forget cuz he doesn't like the plans he's suppose to remember?



Lorrie

So the evil twin has broken the silence barrier.

Thankfully I did not pick up and let it go to voicemail, (I was on the line, but would have anyway because who wants to speak with evil!?)



My mom told her about my plans for double mastectomy so my sister has WRONGLY surmised that I am BRCA positive. She was ADAMENT that I NEVER tell her the BRCA results, regardless if good or bad. I never did tell either way. So the idiot decides I must be BRCA positive because if this surgery..her voicemail was her usual condescending bullshit..."I told you not to tell me the results, now mom did by telling me you are having the double mastectomy now I know you are BRCA positive. My doctor said I shouldn't be stressed right now (she is herself recovering from surgery on her shoulder) and now that I know I am BRCA positive my stress has just gone up, why did you do this? " Etc....also concerned that she might have to travel from North Carolina to take care of my mother while I am recovering.



So, I blocked my home number and called back. She won't pick up phone unless she chooses to speak with you (the almighty freaking wizard!). So I wasn't going to give her the choice. (She won't pick up blocked calls)

I stated 3 things

1. I'm NOT BRCA positive and other decisions were used for my surgery

2. She doesn't have to take care of mom, she has aides that come in and my husband can go if necessary

3. Fell better and no stress.



I am still shaking. (Or is it the 3 cups of tea and 2 cups of coffee?)

Bitch. Gotta love the support from my evil twin.

I am sure she will now make a whole bunch of other stories up in her head as to why I am having this surgery. One kf which will be that i lied to her. Hopefully she keeps her made up stories to herself.



Moral of the story: don't leave asinine messages on cell phones....they can be played over and over for others. (Wish you could all hear this). AND don't trust an evil twin to step up and be there for you. (Not that I asked or wanted her but at least don't call with stupid shit)



Oh, the good news...the breast surgeon they now have scheduled for my mastectomy in New Orleans will be IN network....so I just saved a bunch of money on that part of the surgery.



I think I am going to take 2 aspirins and go rest. MY stress level is up and I feel like I am coming down with something....again!

Pat