Scared and Anxious. Looking for support/advice

I am sorry you have to go through this. I have two boys myself so I know this is tough. I just had my last chemo a little over a week ago.

1. my port placement was done in a hospital surgical room. It took about two hours total. I don't remember much of it. It was not bad. The next day, my neck hurt a lot and I took it easy but it was my son's birthday and we still had a little party. It was manageable. It hurt for the next couple of days but was better quickly. I loved having a port and never had a problem with it. It made everything easier because no one can ever find my veins. I just had mine removed on Wedenesday in the surgeon's office and that took 20 minutes. It was very easy. Both times, he did not stitch my skin but used surgical glue and the scarring was very minimal.

2. I cut my hair into a short pixie cut before chemo on the advice of my oncologist. With AC, she said the hair goes on day 14 after 1st chemo. I ended up buzzing it myself to about an inch around day 9. My scalp got very itchy for about a week before it fell out. My hair all came out the night of my 2nd chemo treatment. The cutting of my hair I stages was helpful for me and my boys in accepting the loss. My hair is now coming in but it is blonde and fuzzy! We are having a good laugh about that too. I didn't start to lose brows or lashes until Taxol.

3. For me, the side effects for AC were mostly nausea. The nausea medication made me very tired as well. I also had some disorientation. I did get mouth pain but no mouth sores and I had trouble with indigestion and diarrhea. I did dose dense every two weeks.

They told me Taxol would be easier. I had no nausea but I had some joint and muscle pain. A lot of people are doing weekly Taxol and I have heard the side effects are easier.

4. Some people have taste bud problems on chemo. I had a hard time tasting salt while on AC. I tried to eat healthy but some days I felt so yucky, that I ate comfort foods.

5. The steroids made me gain weight. Some people get through ok. I have some work to do now that chemo is over. A lot of mine is puffiness from the steroids so I am hoping losing what I gained won't be too bad. I am trying not to beat myself up about it and you shouldn't either. This is all temporary.

6. My boys took the news fairly well and if anything, this has bound us together even more than before. Our life is filled with a lot more hugs and I love you's. My friend who is a therapist advised me to be up front with them that we are going to do everything we can to fight this cancer and that this will be a rough time but we will get through it together. There are some great books out there dealing with this topic. I got some for my sons. One I think was entitled, "The Year My Mom Went Bald" and was a chapter book for kids 9-13. It even talks about how your child can help out. My 12 year old did a load of laundry the other day. I couldn't believe it!

I know this is really rough. This site has some great threads on things you can do to prepare for chemo; supplies to purchase, etc. I found it a great resource before I began treatment. I hope you get some great responses and I wish you all the best.

Im so sorry you had to join us,you are not alone!!

1.My port hurt the day after placement but no problems now.I had it done in surgery room, quick and easy!!

2.I cut my waist long hair to a bob cut at diagnosis and then super short on day 13 when it was coming out in clumps ... mostly it was really messy so it was nice to have it gone.

3.SE for me with AC was very very hard, be prepared with meds for all possibilities. You will get through it...it kills cancer!! Taxol so far is going good...no SEs to speak of.

4. Eat as healthy as you can....for me each AC brought different tastes. Dont eat what you love...it changes your tastes for it.

5. Weight gain or loss can be taken care of after chemo. Feel good and be good to yourself.

6. Being with my boys is what makes me feel most normal.You are a mother and you will find the strength you need...together you will go on!!

Find a few friends and let them help you !!

I'm older (59) and don't have children so can't offer advice about staying strong for your son.  But considering my age, I did very well on chemo which surprised me.  Here are the answers to your questions:

1- port placement.  I had my port put in when I had my mastectomy because they already knew I would need chemo from my biopsy because of a positive lymph node.  I never had any problem with it and had it removed at the end of chemo.
2- hair loss.  My hair started to fall out on Day 19 after my first chemo treatment.  I had  my hair cut in a pixie style before chemo started and then went back to my hairdresser to have my head shaved on Day 21 because the hair loss was getting too annoying.  I mainly lost hair when I showered and I was starting to dread taking one.  I think cutting my hair in those two steps was very helpful.  I actually liked the pixie cut so much, I went back to that style on a permanent basis when my hair grew back in.
3- chemo side effects.  Surprisingly, I had very few side effects from the chemo and neulasta shots.  The anti-nausea meds worked for me.  The closest I got to nausea was a lightheaded feeling on Days 4 and 5 after my infusions.  When I was doing the AC part, I discovered that drinking a lot of water (10 to 12 glasses a day) made a big difference.  I did it for the first cycle and had a fairly easy time and then didn't do it for the 2nd and didn't feel as well.  My oncologist emphasized it was important to drink the water so I went back to doing that thinking it couldn't make that much of a difference but it did.  The Taxol cycles were very easy in comparison to the AC cycles.  Besides the water, I also took a supplement in powder form (I mixed it with water) called L-Glutamine.  It's supposed to help keep your digestive system healthy.  I was worried about mouth sores and yeast infections because I'm prone to those.  I never had either of these problems on chemo and assume the L-Glutamine was why.  The main side effect I had was from the anti-nausea meds and that was constipation.  For the first week after each infusion I had to stay on top of that with Colace and Miralax.
4- Foods to eat or avoid.  I never had any problem with taste issues and went through chemo in the late fall/early winter so gravitated toward comfort foods.  I was very cautious about eating fresh fruits and vegetables because I had been warned my immune system would be compromised and I wanted to avoid picking up any food borne germs.
5- Weight gain.  This was one of my big concerns because I need to lose weight.  My oncologist said she wanted me to maintain my weight during chemo and this was surprisingly easy to do.  One of the nurses told me that chemo speeds up your metabolism and this seemed to be true in my case.  I went through Thanksgiving and the Christmas holidays eating whatever I wanted and never gained weight.  Normally, that never happens.  It was hard to readjust after chemo ended and my metabolism returned to normal but while it lasted it was great.

I was very scared and anxious about chemo beforehand.  Two things that helped me with the anxiety were listening to relaxation tapes and having a prescription for Xanax on hand in case I needed it.  The relaxation tapes I liked were by Belleruth Naparstek.  Here's a link to them online: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health/care/!ut/p/c4/FcpBCsMgEEDRs-QAwyAkOnYXor1Ca3eDGVIhahCbXr8Nf_f4-MJ_hc-0cU-18I5PDFFKl3bjz5oqnGmVio_rOxpvmTGUCpHjWy7j1lPcBYPz1iyT86Ct1qCUVzDb0QERTUYZM95pwSNn-s7D8AN76O4U/.  I found it really helpful to listen to one of them at the end of the day.  It would break the cycle of anxious thoughts for me and let me have a good night's sleep.

I hope you have an easy time with the chemo.  I know it's possible from my own experience.  If you have any problems, I would advise mentioning them to your doctor right away.  If I hadn't mentioned feeling worse my 2nd AC cycle, I would never have had the conversation with my doctor about the water which turned out to be a simple solution to my problem.

Good luck and keep us posted on how you're doing!

I just wanted to pass on this link to the hats I ended up liking the best:  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_1?rh=n%3A1036592%2Ck%3Aturban+plus+abbey+cap&keywords=turban+plus+abbey+cap&ie=UTF8&qid=1379262400.

They're sort of a combination scarf and hat, are incredibly soft and stay on your head with no problems.

Hope you have a good weekend too!