Great saying about depression

Peggy, you're bang on!! It IS okay to say life/today/your health/your relationship/your job SUCKS and it's okay!!!! We can only hang on so long and with reconstruction, you've had a long road. We cry in the shower or in the car commuting to work. It's a safe place to be and sometimes I play music that I KNOW will make me cry just to make sure my tears "still work". I think of tears as a cleansing procedure; wiping away crap and sadness, fear and grief. Do some visualization too of the journey you just took, but put someone else's "face" on it and you WILL be blown away by what you've done! We aren't superwomen or heroes, we are just scared ladies showing up to do what we know we have to do.

Take gentle care, and be well, Peggy. Welcome to this thread.

Peggy, also think of it this way; as women, we are strong during a crisis (lifting a car off our child or fighting a dingo for our baby...) but when it's all over we allow ourselves to "break down" and cry. You haven't reached that stage yet, and it's been a looooon haul. You must allow yourself to grieve for what you have lost.

Oh Maddie, it's going TERRIBLY!!!! I've sent about 21 resumes out to qualified positions in my area and gotten only 3 interviews!! The first interview I told the truth about being off for two years on disability (I don't lie), the second one I just said I was on holiday and that's why I could meet with them on a Wednesday at 2!! The third interview hasn't bothered to call me to say I didn't get the job, though I've called them TWICE to ask!!!

Getting scary here. Lots of jobs I could do, I'm surprised, but then I'm willing to drive up to an hour away to broaden my chances. I'm trying everything!!! Even drove an hour to a store that's just being built to hope I'd find the owner, which I did!! He "said" he'd call me.....sigh.

Hi Barbe - I am sorry you are having a tough time finding a job. Times are tough at the moment. My friend's daughter - she has a degree but coudn't get a job in her field - applied for a job in a bar until something came up. She didn't even get an interview. When she asked them why, the chap said over 250 people had applied for the job, so they just took the first 30 and interviewed them!! Here's hoping someone will see your potential soon. How does that affect your insurance if you can't get a job?

Mac - hang in there kiddo!!! Glad you get to see your daughter and son and have had some fun with them

Mac, I need to go back to work to get back to "normal". I kind of know what your doc means. Right now you and I are in LIMBO! We are neither here nor there. So I think being forced back to work might be the best thing. I've run out of rooms to decorate...hehehehehee. BORED!!!! Haven't even been out of the house much this summer as I cannot tolerate the heat. Might as well be in an office....sigh.

mac, you are going to continue your anti-D`s though, right?? I`d rather have anti-D`s than Tamoxifen if it came down to that. Make sure you are taking the ones that can be taken with Tamox.!! Have fun on your project....post pics!! (Yah, I know you don`t...sigh)

Welcome Violet, you have our Barbs pegged with the pistol match up.

Barbe, yes I am keeping on with the anti d. That's why we're doing the switch, so it won't (or will?) react with the tamox. I get so confused. Anyhow, I keep just showing up for life everyday.

And I do to post photos. It just takes me a while. So ya gotta wait for it.

Hi Mac- the family cottage looks adorable. Is it in the country? If your family are planning to do all the work by themselves it looks like quite a big project!!

When my grandparents bought the property the "grand" house had burned down.This old stable/carriage house was left. You can see some of the stone pillars for a walkway left. We think it's poured concrete. Lots of family members have lived there over the years. Most during the summer,but a few hardy souls have made it through a winter as well. It is pretty dark and kinda damp,but cute and very quaint. It has a tiny kitchen,a larger living/dining area,then one has to walk through the bathroom to get to the small bedroom in what used to be the horse stall area. It's sat empty since my father died a few years ago. My father didn't like much change in his later years so my DD and I think now is the time to spruce it up. We want to put a partial second floor on and move the br up,so we can open the downstairs up to the outside more. Then have a roof deck which we might get a glimpse of the sea.

Maddie, no no we are hiring a contractor to do the work.I think it's going to take some jackhammer work. My DD is having a great time. She thinks this might become a career option.

Anyhow, we have to deal with zoning and bylaw regulations,so we'll see what happens.I'll keep you all posted.

Yes on the overgrown bushes.I think they're suppose to be a hedge.I just had a bunch of clearing out done,ya shoulda seen it before.

Maddie, have a great time. Hmmm the greek isles. Sounds warm and delightful. 

I've been trying to type with my elasto-gel hand coolers on, LOL. It is not very easy. I just got done doing my hand exercises for the night. Then I need to ice to keep the swelling down. But I get bored just sitting around. So I came on to see if anyone was around. 

Our thread is very quiet lately? Has everyone found another place to hang out?

barbe, good to "see" you. Still job hunting? Yes that is rude not to hear back from future employers. I have a friend here that is happening to also. She gets impatient and calls them. I found hiring new employees to be very stressfull. I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. I ended up with some doozy employees over the years. All we can do is keep moving forward. 

I met with a cobbler from CT last week, that might be coming to live here and he would work in my shop. We'll see if it works out. His wife really wants to live here. I fixed my DD's shoes last week and my hands were so sore afterward. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to work full time again. I would get totally overwhelmed if I opened up by myself.

I'm suppose to get an MRI on my neck tomorrow afternoon. My PCP ordered it, but I don't really feel like my hand problem is caused by something in my spine. We're just chasing windmills. But what do I know? She doesn't think I need to see a rheumatologist. Even tho now the bottom of my feet are sore, too. I'm getting more blood tests next week. I just want to get some energy back. Anyhow, hopefully we'll rule this out, too.

stay strong, my friend.

A job, barbe, you got a job!!!!! Thats terrific!!!! No long drive either. Sounds good to me. I'm excited for you.

I had my MRI this afternoon. Now they hand you a CD with the pictures on it as you leave. I looked at them when I got home, but realize I have not a clue what they mean. I have to wait 2 days for the report, so that means probably Monday, but thats ok. The tech was very sweet, but she made a couple of comments, that are now swishing around in my brain. She said "I can tell you are in a lot of pain". And "it very rarely moves down but it moves up." I have no idea what she was talking about. Of course, I did not have my hearing aids in, so I will wait for the report. I see my PCP next week, too.

Gotta get some sleep. I see my MH person tomorrow, she was on vacay for 2 weeks, we have to get caught up.

I hate it when they say "at your age" !!!!!! I keep saying I'm only 60!!!!!! 

barbe1958- THRILLED to hear about your new job!!! I think it is just what you need. You don't want to start off in some huge high powered job which involves a lot of commuting. It gives you chance to gauge how your back will stand up to it. The remarks about arthritis are so trite, no wonder it makes your blood boil - it is very painful.

macatacmv- Glad to hear they are investigating your painful joints. Please let us know the outcome.