Gallows/Black Humor

I can have a very black humor too.   I went to get a new phone at Verizon.  I just wanted a prepay phone because I don't like long term contracts.  The salesperson kept trying to get me to go with the 2 year contract plan.  I have obvious signs of cancer, bald head, swollen, red face, etc.  Well finally, after he wouldn't stop, I looked at him and said "I don't know where I'll be in 2 years...how is the reception in a box 6 feet under?" The look on his face was priceless.  My sister and I left the store laughing our asses off.

I wouldn't have done that in front of my son because he is still having a hard time coming to grips that I might die to soon.  So I'm sensitive to him and try to take it easy.  But my sister accepts my weird sense of humor because she is the same way.

We have to laugh at this crazy thing we are going through or we'll go crazy.

I'm the same, I talk about stuff about my dying all the time. Get over it people!! I'm not going today but if I tell them how I want things and do it in a fun way it sort of desensitises them to it all I hope. The biggest joke here is that half way through the funeral I'll leap up and tell them how very wrong they got everything and for goodness sake didn't they listen. I know that when it does happen, at some point in the service they will smile at each other and remember that. My gift of life and humour to them.

Yes, it's gallows humour but it is how my family operates and we cope with it. Cos, sometimes it is just funny and I would much rather laugh and mock it all than wallow in the grief of it. 

How other people take it is up to them. "Not my problem" is my slogan. Take me or leave me, this is who I am.

I have a tattoo up my forearm that reads, "Whilst we live, let us live" Up either side I am putting the number of years I have lived with this. Nearly ready for number 7. The point for me is the living and in that I put laughing as well.

Moira

I also talk and joke about it openly with my friends. They all get it. I am more careful around my kids. Love your response to the white board, Caryn.

OMG!  So it isn't just me?  LOL.     A fortnight back I went to a bbq at the horse-barn and my business partner and our farrier were there all with our respective (if not respectable) partners.... Dannielle, our farrier (and Non smoker)  asked Tom (business partner)  if he knew how much damage smoking caused and if he had considered quitting?       Well I just sat back and listened to all his excuses for not doing.... then told her .: "Hey, there's no point in doing that for me... WAYYYYYY too late!"... Bless them, they all fell about laughing, makes this so much easier to accept for me AND them if this is all out in the open, nobody walking on eggshells and able to talk about anything and everything.  Black humour works for me, it masks some and it alleviates some of the pain and it does not alienate anyone with a truly daft sense of the rediculous.  I love it!  

Love these responses. Love your wit, ladies!

My husband and I love to joke and tease, but not about my cancer. I am working on him though, because I know there will come a time when humor will be necessary to lighten the load. Just yesterday, I asked him if he had thought about where he would like to be buried (as if he was the one with cancer). When he said he had not, I told him he'd better start making plans because he probably didn't have much time left. I've also told him he will get laid a lot after I'm gone because a handsome young widower will attract lots of pretty ladies. He gets annoyed but he smiles sometimes. I guess he knows if I feel good enough to joke about it, I am feeling ok.

I used to joke about picking my DH's wife. She's a friend of ours and emails him every time I have progression. I kept telling Brian should would be great because he'll never love her as much as me. One day he cracked and told me how much he hates it. I need to think in the moment, not the future. While I needed to do it to ease my pain, it's hard for him too.

Personally, I let it rip! That is my personality and everyone who loves me knows it's so. It's my way of coping, others may have theirs. Of course, the only exception to this rule is my kids (12/13).

Humor helps me cope.  I am always cracking jokes about it.  I know it makes some folks uncomfortable, but hey it's me that has stage IV and I will deal with it the best I can. I have my bad days but I would rather die laughing than crying.  I guess I am being morbid, but it's what helps me cope.  Love this thread.  Blessing and love to all!

See I knew it couldn't be just me---I have a sarcastic humor (always have) and used it from day 1--even the drs. would say do u understand what we're talking about, my answer was always yes I understand but it's u'r problem to figure things out so my worries are on u'r shoulders not mine--that's not funny but my point is my family and friends and now my Drs understand this humor, in fact my sister (stage IV), my cousin (III) my niece (III) all have this humor so we just accept whatever we say-so I let it rip out of any orifice (sp) Catholic school and I still can't spell or type

Fitz, your response helped me, and here's why: at school, the majority of teachers have a 'biggest loser' diet thing going on.  A couple years ago they started right after the holidays, last year they started at the beginning of the school year then had a second one after Christmas.  While many have lost weight and look great, it gets obsessive.  Last year, one woman reminded me of their group diet, 'in case I was interested in joining'. I gave some polite reply, but have not interest in it.  In fact, I have never dieted in my life!  I sometimes cut back or watched what I ate, but never ever an official diet.  When I was dating my husband over 25 years ago, he even commented, "You're the only woman I ever dated who didn't diet."

Anyway, next time someone tries to get me to join their biggest loser club, I'm going to say just what you have in your post, "There's much more to life than dieting."

Okay, didn't mean to sidetrack the thread, which I LOVE, btw.  And Caryn, I love what your wrote and that is SO funny that someone erased it.  Well, they may have thought someone other than you might have wrote it and that you could be offended by it, but still, so funny.

Aaoaao. that is hilarious

Had a book signing a couple weeks ago and 44 people showed up! From the podium I shouted out to my sister if they all show up for the funeral, "We're going to need a bigger boat!"



Come to think of it I think whatever came to mind that night came out of my mouth. The audience probably cringed at a lot of it but I was having fun!

cracks. you are cracking me up. :-)