Today I hate the world

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rozem
rozem Member Posts: 1,375
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

A family friend died this morning of ovarian cancer, 45, left 3 young girls.  Ive been bawling on and off all day.  We attended each others weddings - who would have ever thought back then that cancer would have touched our lives so early (42 me) life sucks the big one.

I just had it out with some lady at wal-mart. She was standing in front of me at the check-out.   I was kinda spacey today so i must have invaded her personal space because she shot me a look and then said "well if SOME people would just be patient" because i was standing too close to her as she gathered all her crap from the cash register (she had finished checking out and the cashier had bagged her stuff and it was all in the buggy).  I was so angry today I just shot back "are you talking to me" anyway on it went for a few more pleasantries.   I see her in the parking lot...she goes off on a tirade about how she was having a bad day and i made it worse and how i was a bleep bleep bleep (cant even repeat it, it was so offensive) and right in front of my 13 yr old - how nice and classy.  I let her have it...nicely, her kids were right there.  Im still a lady afterall

anyway...i figure if anyone is going to be on the receiving end of my rage today it might as well be a stranger

that was my day today

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  • BayouBabe
    BayouBabe Member Posts: 2,221
    edited July 2013

    Rozem - I am so sorry for your loss. At least you got some frustration out on the woman in line. Sounds like she deserved it. Hugs to you and your friend's family as you begin working through your grief. Life is so not fair at times.

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  • Pbrain
    Pbrain Member Posts: 863
    edited September 2013

    Rozem, nice to see you here or maybe not.  I'm struggling with being almost post-treatment and afraid I am looking at depression, so I am seeking.

    But I do have to say I was at home in Philly during Christmas, in the middle of a busy mall with my mother, buying gifts at the last minute and I had some cute sweaters in my hand from Sear's Land's End collection and walked right up to the counter in front of a line full of waiting people.  The sales lady looked at me like "what???" and my Mom came over and gently pulled my arm to take me to the back of the line.  I just turned around and smiled at everyone and said "Sorry, chemo brain".  They all smiled back.  

    Do your best to hang in there and be kind to yourself.

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  • rozem
    rozem Member Posts: 1,375
    edited September 2013

    pbrain - so excited someone replyed!

    i think sometimes im in a daze and i must cut people off...chemo brain is real.  At least everyone smiled...i just got barked at!!!

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