my sister

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rws2122
rws2122 Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

I just found out yesterday my sister has breast cancer. She is 43. She was told the tumor was too big to operate so the doctors are doing chemo and radiation. Its in her lymphnodes too. I need to know how serious this is. I also want to know what can I do for her even tho she said she doesn't need anything. Things that I can go ahead and start buying her now for use later. This is all new to me. I am scared, and been crying off and on. I am wanting to learn everything I need to know to help my sister survive this or be there for if she doesn't.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2006
    what a wonderful sister you are...

    take heart, treatments are out there to help your sister get the cancer tumours waay down and keep it at bay...

    chemo and rads are hard...house cleaning, rides, grocery shopping and comfort are a few things i think she might need to get through this...

    and get through this she will!

    remember knowledge is power, educate yourself and sis as much as you can about her particular situation...

    you will find many in the same boat here...
    lots of strength and love going to you and your sister at this time...

    laura
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  • jgrjunque
    jgrjunque Member Posts: 47
    edited July 2006
    Let your sister know she doesn't have to pretend around you, that you're there for her and will always be there even if she gets snotty and whiny.

    As far as her not needing anything, that may be true at this moment. But as chemo progresses she will be very grateful if you simply show up and clean her house, take her kids for the day, pick up the groceries or 101 other things that have to be done.

    And I hope you realize that your sister is very lucky to have you...
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    rws,
    Hi and welcome , you have found a very good place to get info and support for you and your sister.
    My sister was dx'd last june and started chemo last july
    she was 46 at the time of Dx.

    It is really hard to know what you can get to be prepared as chemo is accumalative and it affects everyone different but here are some things you can keep in mind ...

    Chemo really makes them very tired so anything you can do
    to help out such as house , errands, making meals to freeze
    keep it kinda bland the taste buds are in over drive so is their sense of smell .

    If she does not have a themometer that is something she will need to have on hand . You might get her for now
    some good unscented skin lotion as my sis's skin was so dryed out from the chemo .

    Mostly hugs, letting her talk about her feelings and fears
    and letting her know you are there for her for the long haul.

    Once she starts and you see how the chemo effects her we can help a little more , right now most likely her head is spinning and she is feeling very overwhelmed.
    There are ladies here that did chemo first to shrink the tumor
    and are doing well so hang in there!!

    hugs,
    Carrie
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006

    So sorry to hear your sad news. I would say you have great advise her and just love her. That and making her laugh will her heal.

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  • rws2122
    rws2122 Member Posts: 2
    edited July 2006

    Thank you everyone for your kind words and posts. I do remember saying that her she could not taste food. She was very, very tired. Some of the things that was mentioned I should have thought of but my mind is so full of "Why? This is my baby sister who has never been sick a day in her life." I am so afraid of losing her. My sister is a nurse and she is convinced she will not make it because she has seen this before. That scares me the way she looking at things. If I was in her shoes, I probably would too. Love and Prayers to everyone who is going through the same thing. I am going to make a list of all the little things I know I can do for her and I am gonna make some food that she can tolerate for starters.

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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006

    I haven't seen her path report, and my take would be she needs more positive than negative right now. So if one sister thinks negatively you need to concentrate on being positive to give her balance.

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    I agree 100 percent with cowgirl the only sure thing about this is, nothing is for sure!! No matter how grim her path report might look she may very well have a very good response to the chemo everyone reacts different and if one is'nt working they will try another she may respond to
    so don't give up there is always hope.
    Encourage her and we will help encourage you!

    It is soo okay to be afraid, but be the one that helps her fight back !!

    hugs for you and sis!!
    Carrie
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  • TAHOLT
    TAHOLT Member Posts: 1
    edited July 2006

    HI.IAM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SISTER,WE HAVE ALOT IN COMMON MY SISTER ,WHICH IS 38 AND A NURSE WAS DIAGNOSED ,MY SPELLING IS NOT THAT GOOD,ANYWAY DECEMBER 23 ,2005,SHE WENT THREW 9 ROUNDS OF CHEMO,A DOUBLE MASETOMY,AND RECUNTRUCTED SURGERY 7/10/2006,AND HAS DONE GREAT,BUT YESTERDAY WE FOUND OUT 2OF THE 4 LYMPH NODES TESTED POSTIVE,WE HAVE CRYED ALOT SINCE YESTERDAY,SO NQW SHE HAS 33 RADIATION TREATMENTS TO DO.I DONT NO WHERE WE GO FROM HERE ,BUT TODAY WAS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY,WE HAVE TO STAY STRONG AND POSTIVE FOR ARE SISTERS,I THINK IAM GOING TO JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP IF THERE IS ONE FOR FAMILY MEMBERS GOING THREW THIS. GOD BLESS YOU,AND TAKE CARE OF YOU AND SIS. BYE

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited July 2006
    Taholt,
    Sorry to hear you sister is going through more treatment
    Try and not think the worst about the pos. nodes, lots and lots of women on this site had pos. nodes and are doing very well now , so it is not a death sentance.

    My sister had a 3.7cm IDC with vascular invasion and the tumor had attached to the chest wall. I am happy to say today after chemo and radiation she has no evidence of disease.
    In comparison to chemo the radiation was so much easier for my sister and it went much faster as she had it everyday the first couple of visits with the rad doctor were the longest getting mapped, after that it was quick in and out for 33 treatments with I think 6 boost to the tumor bed.

    Hugs to you and sis and let us know how you are all doing>

    Carrie
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited July 2006

    Taholt, you are not alone I will pray for you both.

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