just scared of the unknowns

I felt the same way you are. I was diagnosed on Nov. 2012 and had my surgery on Dec. 7,2012. I didn't have any problems with my surgery, my chemp (while no picnic) was doable and no radiation needed. We are all scared of the unkown and if anyone says they weren't initially, they're not being truthful. As you can see, I had a very aggressive cancer and I had node involvement. My surgeon and Oncologist have always been very encouraging about my prognosis. I don't think you could get an answer about how fast it grows. Some grow faster than others but at the same time, I think everyone is different. Your staging could be different after surgery. Mine was. I encourage you to think positive. They've come so far with the treatment of breast cancer and I think the biggest thing is catching it early and sounds like you have. You will see and meet many survivors who didnt catch it early and they are too, doing well. I'm sorry you had to join us here but you have. I believe we become survivors the moment we are diagnosed. There are lots of knowledgable people on these threads. Any question I've had, they have answers and no question is too silly. Good luck with your surgery on Monday!! You will do fine and have all the answers you need to feel better, beat this disease and get on with your life.  

Soccermom - when I was first dx, someone told my husband and me,"Don't go there until you get there."  That became our mantra to get us through the bad times.  Focus on your current and next decision - do your research, get second opinions, and learn your options.  Knowledge is power.  Don't let your mind wander down the "what if" paths of the future.  If things end up for the better, then think of all the time you wasted worrying for nothing.  If things end up being not so good, then all your worrying didn't change that outcome anyway, and all you did was waste precious time worrying.

It's hard to keep the mind from going to sinister, but my husband and I kept reminding each other of the mantra whenever the other one's mind wandered too far down the "what if" road.  As others have said, the beginning is the worst.  Once you get your path report, learn exactly what you're up against, and get your medical team lined up, you'll have your game plan set and you get into treatment mode.  It really does ease your mind once you're out of the waiting time and into the action time.  Good luck!

Hi Soccermom.  I am right there with you... my surgery is 8/7 and it will be 7 weeks from DX... my dr. promised that it will not grow that fast so I have just been happy with being able to enjoy part of the summer (swimming a lot with my 15 month old) and mentally preparing.  I too am also scared they will "upstage" me after surgery and just can't stop thinking of the day we get "final pathology"...  reading this thread has helped me and just knowing we caught this early means we will be okay, whatever we have to go through... in the end that's ALL I care about...  I love seeing all the survivors on here... no matter their DX, they are doing great... so thankful for modern medicine...

I was just diagnosed with IDC on July 8,2013. I am having surgery on July 25, 2013. I am having Breast-conserving surgery. Today I was told he is going to remove a large area around it and 3 lymph nodes for testing. From all the test that I have had done he does not think it has spread and that it is just isolated but he will not know for sure until he gets in there. The waiting is the hardest part. After surgery I will receive radiation. 

DebDylan, you can have a grade 3 tumor with any stage. Grade 3 means it's faster growing, but if it's caught early you can still be stage 1. I fit that category with a 5mm invasive tumor (I also had 2.5 cm of DCIS but that doesn't enter into the staging). I had no node involvement and am stage 1a. I opted for chemo and Herceptin because of my HER2 positive status. The more I read about HER2 then happier I am I did opt in for chemo and Herceptin even though my tumor size was just below the "recommend treatment" line. I used cold caps to save my hair, and overall the whole thing was not that bad. If you're not HER2 positive you might be offered the oncotype test which helps determine whether chemo is necessary. Waiting and making these potentially life-altering decisions is agonizing, but once the unknowns have turned into knowns, and decisions are made, I promise you will feel much calmer.

Deb, I didn't get my staging until after the lumpectomy. They need to check the sentinel lymph nodes even if the MRI shows no lymph node involvement. Also, they need to know the size of your invasive tumor, and if you have more than one tumor that enters into staging. At my facility the breast surgeons and oncologists meet to decide staging. It doesn't sound like you have an oncologist yet, or know where you will be going for treatment. Its not surprising to me that you havent been staged. Ask for copies of your biopsy and MRI reports, if you haven't already. Has anyone gone over the MRI results with you?

Deb, just so sorry you are going through this alone. I did want to say that the more docs you can connect with before surgery the better. Frankly, you're going to feel like c#ap after surgery and will not want to go interviewing radiologists and plastic surgeons for awhile. Best to get that all settled before going under the knife. Also, the doctors really won't know anything until after surgery. Every test I had before surgery indicated no nodes were involved. Well, surprise, surprise, and not a pleasant one, after surgery.

I had a bad team initially also. Long story, but I switched to a wonderful surgeon after becoming disillusioned with the first one. I wasted 2 weeks getting the cancer out, but it was well worth it. Cancer really doesn't grow like weeds, as we newbies always imagine.

Best wishes sweetie! Holding your hand.

Deb, I am doing very well now. I have little fear of cancer anymore. Of course I know it could come back, but I also know I could get hit by a truck! It's kind of weird but after a time one sort of normalizes cancer. It is one of life's many risks, but we can't let it keep us from living until and unless it reoccurs, which for most of us, statistically, won't happen.

I too know your feeling and want to encourage you to hold on and you and all of us are in my prayers, HOPE and Positive thinking with my Faith got me to become a 19 yr Survivor(Praise GOD). msphil(idc,stage 2, 3 nodes, L mast, chemo and rads and 5 yrs on Tamoxiifen)

I'm so glad you posted - I was wondering how it went for you! I'm so glad your nodes were clear and that he got it all! Will you still be doing radiation or chemo?



I have surgery next Monday the 5th.

hi all, just been diagnosed w/invasive bc triple negative on July 22nd and had bilateral mastectomy on Aug. 1st. this wed. so i have been kept busy between the biospy, and mestectomy etc.. i'll have the sutures taken out. Friday i meet w/my new oncologist. i haven't been asking my doctors a lot of questions and i think its because it all happened so fast and i didn't want to know everything at once. but i do believe the more i know about this BC the better. its very troublesome to me because my eldest daughter died from BC, it will be a year tomorrow Aug. 13th... i still mourn her, and my youngest daughter i am very concerned about her too. so much on my mind. i am looking for support from others and to give support if i may, and learning as much as i can about this awful disease. thanks for being here.