BC with Pre-existing Major Mental Illness - How Many?

Good for you Sparky! I hope you managed to have a normal forget about this shit day.

Oh kayb please don't be afraid to post here, please come back. I completely understand. I just started seeing a new therapist. Not sure if it is helping or not. I talk a lot in there and cry a lot, but waiting for the advice on how to fix me! Today she told me that I have OCD tendencies! I always thought I hid my ocd very well thank you, but I guess not! Well, so I have my new therapist plus my psychiatrist that prescribes the medicine and deals with cancer patients only. Still feel depressed. I am also very shy, which I also hide, and I have completely pulled away from my friends. I just think I wil always be like this.

@kayb......I think I tried to tell myself a lot of things when I made up my mind to not go. And yep, you hit the nail on the head. It's like acceptance of doing chemo, which I am not fond of the idea. I just don't see why they have to rush everything, like maybe because my insurance is shite, they just want to roll me out the assembly line.

@bak, I hope you can find someone close you can be around. I too struggle with making friends, sort of shy. I can be a card online, but face to face, it takes me a while to warm up to people.

I am facing making a serious choice here. Unfortunately my decision making capabilities are not all that great. I didn't even consider death till a few days ago. And then I thought, I do not want to die here. I live in the desert and have come to despise the desert. I half think I might just start walking North, but of course I know how foolish that sounds. Intellectually I know, emotonally I don't.

@dunesleeper, I am wondering when the anger will hit me. I almost get angry, but then I just get bummed out instead. I am on anti-depressents, old ones I have been on for years, And I know they don't make me any happier, just prevent those huge suicidal crashes.

Ya'll have pretty much summed up my problem for me I think. I need therapy. haha

I'm too stunned to write anything, but I wanted everyone on this thread to know what the Moderators wrote on another thread which isnt on the "Active List"

5 hours ago Moderators wrote:

It is with great sadness to report that 1Athena1 has passed away.  Her sister contacted breastcancer.org today because her friends on the discussion boards were so important to her, and she wanted to make sure they knew. 

A memorial for her will be held tomorrow at 2 PM at 

St Pauls Church 2430 K Street NW Washington DC 20037

The family has requested that donations in her name 1Athena1 (Pamela Mercer) be made to breastcancer.org.  If you wish to extend condolences to the family, you can send us a PM and we can send you further contact information. 

She may no longer roar, but she will remain in so many hearts.

Sunflowers, thank you for sharing that. It is sad news, but it is good to know what has happened to her.

Shedding the tears that Athena showed me were ok to express.

I feel so grateful she set up this thread and my heart goes out to her family and friends. Kylie x

  You can all honor ATHENAby continuing to help each other with a unique problem many do not understand. Keep yourselves strong for each other.   kad2kar

I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this thread, but here are my answers to the original questions: (I also have bipolar I)  

1. So far my cancer treatment hasn't changed my bipolar meds. However, I take Lamictal (a mood stabilizer that also is used for neuralgia) which has masked the peripheral neuropathy I developed during AC. I am scheduled for more chemo, but it may not happen if the neuropathy persists.

2. I regret not insisting on seeing the doctor before my second treatment (dose dense) when I tried to tell the nurse that there was a neuropathy problem. Being on the depressed side, I wasn't able to be an advocate for myself.

3. The on and off steroids have been the most problematic. When they wear off, I get quite depressed. I've had to back down the steroid dose to minimize that effect. The first time I followed the recommended (rather high) dose, I felt suicidal.

4. My psychiatrist generally understands, but he thinks I am handling this better than I really am. My oncologist is fairly clueless. I've only told him that I have depression and anxiety, because I don't want to deal with the stigma of bipolar. I've only had problems with the depression side for the last few years anyway. The oncologist doesn't realize how bad my depression gets. No one around me does.

5. Anger/frustration has been my strongest feeling about this whole thing. I was finally in a stable, balanced mood, best I had been since bipolar diagnosis nine years ago, then for my 41st birthday I got diagnosed with cancer. 

6. My hope is that after going through all this chemo and radiation that I won't have to do it again. I look forward to my hair growing back. I tell myself that the depression is temporary, but I do worry that taking Tamoxifen may make depression worse. My youngest child is a sophomore in high school, and I hope to be recovered and enjoy her junior and senior years.

7. In five years, I will probably be taking care of my mom who will be nearing 80. I had been the primary caregiver for my dad for the last few years, and I'm worried for him. He is currently in hospice. I can't be there for my dad right now, and he may not outlive my treatment. That is what bothers me most.

My oldest child is a junior in college. She has recently been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and has been suicidal. She is 3,000 miles from home, and I'm sure having a mom dealing with breast cancer isn't helping her situation. Luckily, she has a bipolar roommate, and they are looking after each other. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Thank you for starting this topic. I didn't expect to find a place for people with bipolar and breast cancer. 

Thank you for your reply. I had just managed to figure out how to navigate the thread and found that she had passed. I hope that those still here who are hormone receptor positive (including me) can find a way to tolerate hormone suppression. Best wishes to you all.

NoTime----I THINK the first thing our Dear Athena would tell you ---ADVOCATE for yourself. Tell your onc EXACTLY what you are dealing with.and what meds.

I'm not bipolar but I had gone through severe depression in teens and several years after. I had only ben dx'd with cancer since 2010.I'm 67yrs now.

Tell your psych EXACTLY what you are feeling and what your dx is and what your cancer meds are Maybe they have an idea of someone to help you understand some of the crap we go thru.

It is an awful thing what you are going thru with your family---BUT REMEMBER---YOU are first and foremost in your life and your only real ADOVCATE. So ADVOCATE FOR YOU

There will be others along to help you and to hear rants you need to need to rant and if you haven't read this whole thread, go to page 1 and read all the posts. We are here to help with the journey

HUGS and Healing thoughts.-----kad2kar

I hope someone is still reading this thread. I too have bipolar and stage IV bc, I read all the posts from Athena and was too sad when I read she had passed away. Please come back sisters and let's give each other the support and understanding one can only get from others that suffer from similar diseases.

Aurora

Hi Sparkle

As it's been a while since this thread has been active, would you also like to check out the Bottle o Tamoxifen thread? Lots of ladies are there supporting each other with Tamoxifen SE's. 

Sending you our best wishes

The mods

You need documentation from a psychiatrist.

I was in radiation and was on track to start Tamoxifen in a month or so. My psych said I needed to get Tegretol for my bipolar 2 out of my system before starting Tamoxifen -- she didn't tell me that I shouldn't go cold turkey. I didn't do any research, and I went cold turkey. A month and a half later, I was in the hospital for four nights for seizures and a cluster of other awful side effects that had snuck up on me each week. It was a terrible detox.

So: 1) don't quit or change any meds without specific written instructions from your docs; 2) presume that your docs won't talk to each other and give them a summary/diary of what each says, and get printed copies of test panels to share; 3) ER doctors seem to be complete idiots regarding cancer patients with mental health issues -- make them treat you as a cancer patient first, then address psychiatric issues (this may be counter to medical association best practice guidelines, but be very polite and make them do it your way). A copy of all your medical care notes, ESPECIALLY MED CHANGES, may be the only thing that keeps you from involuntary psych or behavioral health unit admission, especially if you can't speak during a seizure.

I'm taking Lamictal and will not have to stop. I won't start Tamoxifen until my docs all get it together with me and I titrate up to whatever replaces Tegretol (a nightmare decision process in itself). But I am nervous about the effects of Tamoxifen on mood, about the possibility of being thrown off kilter again.

There is a medical specialty called Psycho-oncology -- search around and look for one. A lot of their work deals with mental problems developing during and after treatment, but experienced docs also understand pre-cancer mental health diagnoses.

Good health to you all!

Shelley, I don't think it sounds crazy at all. It's all very confusing, and in my experience, docs treat psych patients differently from non-psych patients. Now, I had not heard about tamoxifen and psych drugs interacting poorly. I take an ssri and xanax, and now an aromatase inhibitor. I will need to inquire about that. Good luck with your treatment.