Getting things in order

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dfwmom70
dfwmom70 Member Posts: 14
edited June 2014 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

The last few weeks have been an anxiety driven rollercoaster.  Have had mammograms regularly since July 2011 (after I turned 40 the previous December) and my last one in November 2012 showed nothing except a benign cyst on my left breast.  Felt a lump in late March/early April and thought it was just a cyst, since it was the same breast.  It didn't go away and called my ob/gyn to order a mammogram and ultrasound.  Was officially diagnosed with IDC June 24 with my biopsy results and if everything else is okay (port, scans, etc), start chemotherapy on Tuesday...6 infusions every 3 weeks.  Scared out of my mind! 

Met with the oncologist today because my surgeon recommended I consider neoadjuvant chemo to shrink the tumor because the tumor was "not small" (I am considering lumpectomy, ultrasound showed 2.9cm, MRI showed 3.4cm).  She went over the pathology of my turmor...highly ER and PR receptive, HER2- and very fast growing.  She said clinically my staging is 2a.  The MRI I had didn't show lymph node involvement, which will be verified surgically, so that staging could change pathologically.  She didn't think the tumor was missed on my last mammogram but actually that my tumor had not been there very long.  Pretty scary.  My husband said that was the scariest part for him to hear so far (other than me actually having cancer).  He's pretty level headed (I am the over-reacter) and he's felt the doctors have acted like this is routine, which I guess lets him handle this easier.

Now I have to tell my family.  My husband thinks I should tell them in person this weekend, so we are driving back to my hometown to give the news.  They are going to be shocked out of their minds too since I hardly ever get sick, except a few allergies here and there to pollens.  And will need to tell my kids, ages 10 and 6 very soon.  I think that will be harder since I will have to be strong for them so they are not scared and I will be okay but have to go through some treatments that will not be very fun.

NEVER again will I EVER think a lump is "just a cyst"!!

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  • codavis
    codavis Member Posts: 122
    edited July 2013

    dfwmom70: I'm sorry you have to join us. The initial diagnosis is extremely difficult, and I found that telling people was very hard. You will feel like you have to be strong for your family. For your children. And for your spouse. Try to find someone that can be strong for you. There will be those that are there for you 100%, and some of your "friends" will become distant. So be it. Don't dwell on it. You will get through this! The women and men on these boards will help you. Someone, somewhere has been through almost exactly what you will go through.

    My daughters were 9 and 12 when I was diagnosed, and telling them was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I tried to be honest without scaring them too much, and I told them that the treatment would likely make me sick, but that it was important to go through it. So we could come out on the other side. My 9 year old sort of took it in stride, but the 12 year old was much more concerned. She'd read books where people had died from cancer, and I think that really scared her.

    You will find an enormous amount of support and information here! Take advantage of it!

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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited July 2013

    sweetie, we are here for you and you can count on us to help you thru, we have been where you are now and we do ubderstand the emotions you are feeling, But there is HOPE which kept me going with my Faith, I kept telling the cancer it had to leave my body for it was a temple of God, I said it everyday, and I am now a 19 yr Survivor(Praise God) and want to help others to have the same HOPE with Positive thinking, We are all in my prayers daily. msphil(idc,stag2 3 nodes, L mast, chemo and rads and 5 yrs on tamoxifen

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  • travlmom
    travlmom Member Posts: 90
    edited August 2013

    dfwmom70 -

    I am right here with you.  Dx June 24 IDC HER2/neu+ - Lumpectomy Aug 8

    I have spent the weekend trying to organize my thoughts.  Friends and family know. When I called my husband with the news, he immediately told my 14 year old son.  My husband has a short filter and I felt I needed to sit down with my son and talk it out and try putting a positive face on. 

    Mine was found on a mammogram - no cyst - no family history of cancer but every woman has beign cysts so I was not concerned about getting negative news.  It knocked me on my ass. 

    I am now waiting for the pathology reports.  This is going to be a nerve wrecking week to get them back. I have not met with Oncology yet.  My surgeon though said that because I am HER2+ I will need chemo before radiation. So as soon as I get the path results - I am going to go get my hair colored blonde because if it falls out it will be grey coming back in.  I figured that I was never brave enough to change my hair color before that this will be the EASIEST step in the process.

    Time to put our fighting gloves on!

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  • Txgal748
    Txgal748 Member Posts: 21
    edited August 2013

    DFWMOM70,

    Hang in there and give yourself a break.  CODavis is right you should find someone who will be strong for you.  I will always be grateful my husband took charge, he read everything he could about breast cancer and asked all the questions, so all I had to do was listen to the doctors.  Telling your children will be the hardest but young children are more resilient than we give them credit for.  Take time out to meditate to calm yourself.  I had a hard time telling people my diagnosis because I did not want people to have pity for me and because I felt the need to reassure people I would be fine.  The month I had to wait before my lumpectomy was emotionally draining because all I wanted was for the tumor to be gone.  Try your best to stay positive. Visit these message boards they are great and everyone here is or has been in your shoes.  Only people who have been through this can truly understand the emotional toll this disease can take.  Now go read a bedtime story to your children and tell them you love them.

    MSPHIL,

    I absolutely love your mantra, wish I had thought of it.  I never liked "battling cancer", "fighting cancer", and "kicking cancer".  It just does not feel right.

    TRAVLMOM,

    Good luck with your treatments, I'm glad to see you are staying positive.  Take good care of yourself so you can take care of your guys later. 



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