IDC in both breasts

Hi All,

I posted this over at Forum: Mixed Type Breast Cancer → Topic: Who else had Bilateral BC at time of diagnosis?  But it was suggested that I post this on a more active board... I hope I'm in the right place

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I have been lurking for a while, reading what I can, but now that I have a more definitive diagnosis, I thought I would post.

Since the beginning of the year, I felt what I thought was a rather large lump on the right side of my right breast, near my armpit.  I was an amazing mammogram-phobe, and put off seeing the doctor hoping that the lump would go away.  It did not, so in March, I reconciled myself to the fact that I most likely had BC and scheduled my first mammogram.  While the lump was very palpable, it did not show up well at all on either mammography or ultrasound (US) - only a small dark, confusing area showed up.  A core needle biopsy was scheduled in April and came back as ADH.  I was told it was probably nothing and the excisional biopsy with wire localization was scheduled for June 18th.

As a side note, the delay between the ADH diagnosis and the excisional biopsy was somewhat purposeful, as my MIL was diagnosed w/DCIS and had a mastectomy, and my father suddenly passed away - all this was going on at the same time, and there is only so much one can handle

The path report came back on the excisional biopsy (June 19th) and was positive for extensive ADH, extensive DCIS, and IDC throughout the entire tissue (5 x 3 x 2 cm).  Margins were not clear.  None of this showed up on either mammogram or US.  My BS scheduled and MRI (June 19th) and presented me to the tumor board (June 21st).

At the tumor board, I was told that the MRI picked up a small (0.4 x 0.3 x 0.4 cm), suspicious spot on the left breast, just under the nipple (never showed up on either to mammogram or US), and I was scheduled for another core needle biopsy of the left breast on June 28th, as well as genetic testing.

The path report on the left breast came back yesterday (July 2nd) as positive for IDC.  Both tumors are ER/PR+.  The right side tumor is HER2- and I'm still waiting the results for the left side tumor.

I am also still waiting on the genetic testing results.

My BS recommends BMX w/out nipple sparring.  I am so unhappy with this recommendation, as I've always approached this with the purpose of saving as much of my natural breasts as possible.  I was so hoping he would recommend further lumpectomies with rads, as that has been our discussion all along until the left side tumor reared it's ugly head and came back IDC right under the nipple.

I'm struggling w/the decision to agree to a BMX.  I do know that if the BRCA1/BRCA2 comes back +, then my choice is made for me and a BMX it is.  But if the BRCA1/BRCA2 comes back neg. and I just do further lumpectomies, am I just postponing the inevitable?  If the BC does come back, I would however, have my breasts for that much longer, which is a plus.  While they're not perfect, I like my breasts, and want to keep them if I can.  I'm also scared of what this is going to do to my husband's and my sex life, and/or how tamoxifen (which is also being recommended) will complicate matters.

I do have 3 young children, all under the age of 11, so I wonder if I'm making the right decisions (by trying to avoid BMX) by them as well.

Thank you for listening and offering any guidance if you choose to.  I appreciate these boards and all the help that is here.

Much love and thoughts of peace to you all.