My mum was diagnosed yesterday

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Agraham
Agraham Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hi

My mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She first noticed a change in her breast 1 year ago but she did nothing about it. I still don't understand why. Then 6 weeks ago the lump erupted on her breast. She still at this point hid her symptoms from everyone and didn't go to the doctors. It was only last week when I noticed she was starting to look pale and thin that I forced her to go to the doctors. They checked her and sent her straight to hospital. Yesterday they told us it was cancer. The wound on her breast has been bleeding and oozing liquid for the last 6 weeks and my mum just buried her head in the sand. We now have to go back to guys hospital in the next couple of days for her scans ie bone scan chest scan etc... And we are booked in for next Friday morning to get the results.



I feel physically sick and cry constantly. I'm pretty sure from looking online that best case scenario her cancer is grade 3. Why oh why didn't she get help a year ago. She has 3 daughters and two beautiful grandchildren. I'm so angry with her.



Bye for now x

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2013

    Hi Agraham, and welcome to BCO. We are glad that you found such a wonderful community for information and support.

    We understand how you feel about your mom hiding her symptoms.... burying her head in the sand definitely didn´t help, but she was probably hiding her own fear. Now, she is lucky that she has you by her side. Hang in there and please let us know how it goes on Friday.

    ---The Mods

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  • BayouBabe
    BayouBabe Member Posts: 2,221
    edited July 2013

    My mom, too, should have been seen much earlier. Her symptoms were there (different type of cancer, not breast). However, what is done is done. It cannot be changed. Be glad she has been diagnosed now and care will start.



    Use her example to be on top of your own care. I am positive my mom saved my life because of this. I got my mammogram letter in the mail saying to schedule an appointment. Hung it on my fridge for two months. Began cleaning off my fridge one day saw it, considered waiting two years instead of one, as that is what is recommended frequently now. Felt her as my guardian angel on my shoulder saying CALL NOW. I did. This is how my cancer was found, no lumps detected by me. She saved my life!!!



    I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Do not spend energy being angry, put that energy in helping her and caring for yourself. I am so sorry that you are facing this, but am glad you are here for support. Sending you prayers and well wishes for Friday!

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  • Sago
    Sago Member Posts: 13
    edited July 2013

    Agraham, I'm sorry to hear the news.

    My mum actually got diagnosed yesterday as well, she knew about the lump about 8 months ago and was too scared to get a checkup. It has now spread to her lymph nodes and we're waiting on further tests to see how it has spread. We tried to convince her into doing something earluer, but I guess we didn't push her hard enough - and sometimes I feel so deeply responsible for that.

    I think of it as mum being a mother first, putting everyone in the family before her own interests. And by thinking that way it eases the pain and anger a bit, and I've been trying hard to understand her point of view and to accept this, and to help her release herself from her own feelings of guilt. Hang in there and we are here for you!

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  • Agraham
    Agraham Member Posts: 2
    edited July 2013

    Thanks guys for all your support and comments. I'm know I'm not alone and surprisingly my mums 'head in the sand' approach to this in not uncommon. She is having a blood transfusion today and all her bone and body scans tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. Thinking of you all too. Xxx

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