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SweetheartinTX
SweetheartinTX Member Posts: 58
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I know this has probably already been discussed before but i need to VENT. I also know that the way i am feeling may sound a little selfish but whatever, here it goes.



I really wish people would realize how blessed they truly are, or how good they have it. But yet they bitch, moan, complain, and whine about the SMALLEST and STUPIDEST stuff. I just want to slap them. I am a very up-beat and positive person. (Always have been). Then i was diagnosed in late May with BC, and i still look at the glass as half full (for the most part). So why is it that it bothers me sooooooo badly when people are so petty?? It makes me angry. I should have sympathy and comfort them but all i want to do is scream at them and say ARE YOU F'kn KIDDING ME?? (Excuse my language)



I am hoping that i can overcome these feelings because i don't want to loose some of my friends over it. I have one friend who complains all the time about being broke yet she is the one spending the money. And i am thinking "Really, You only THINK you have bills!! " Cancer is EXPENSIVE! Not to mention this is money i WANT to be spending, unlike her!!



I am sorry to sound like such a witch... i promise i really am not. I just get so tired of hearing about stupid minimal matters.

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited July 2013

    I totally get it. People complain about a broken refrigerator like it's a horrible change, and I think "try living in constant fear for your life." I'm less pissy about it now, but still have little sympathy.



    One day a co-worker went on and on about losing weight, and I finally said, "I would like to lose weight so that next time I have to go through chemo, I have less body to pull around."



    You're not alone. Cancer sure puts things perspective.

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  • SweetheartinTX
    SweetheartinTX Member Posts: 58
    edited July 2013

    I hope these feelings fade... I guess it's just all o fresh to me still. But yeah like why do people say stupid stuff like that KNOWING you are fighting for your life? Grrrr.



    I have experienced 3 different type of people when telling them for the first time that I have BC. 1) " oh you'll be fine" and they completely blow it off like I just have a head cold. ( which I do realize they are probably saying it to keep me positive) 2) they freak out to the extreme as if I told them I was dying tomorrow, I like to call these the over dramatic drama queens. Yes I have cancer but come on, what a way to make me feel better. And 3) my favorite. They sympathize but also are great with it, offer help, let me know they are here for me. I wish everyone could be # 3!!!



    And I get it, that not everybody is the same or understands cancer. Hell I didn't either that much 3 + years ago. ( my sister died last year of Ovarian)



    But anywho thanks for allowing me to vent. I will be much better and view everything differently I am sure as time wears on.



    P.s. realized in my op, i put WANT to be spending instead of I DON'T WANT. Lol oops!

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited July 2013

    Everyone is different. One co worker hasn't spoken to me since I told my office. That's a year and a half ago. Weird.

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  • BayouBabe
    BayouBabe Member Posts: 2,221
    edited July 2013

    You'll love this story. A few days after my BMX, my aunt came to see me. She begins by complaining about how she has precancerous spots on her face. Her doctor is going to give her some lotion to put on her face for two weeks and it will make her skin peel. She just didn't know how she was going to do anything for two weeks because she couldn't go out where people would see her. I was speechless. I should have begun shouting about how I just got my breasts cut off and wish I only had to put on cream!!! I have not seen her or talked to her since. Hmmm. Imagine that.

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  • SweetheartinTX
    SweetheartinTX Member Posts: 58
    edited July 2013

    No kidding. Well I understand why! Crazy crazy!

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  • mrenee68
    mrenee68 Member Posts: 383
    edited July 2013

    I totally get what you are saying. I get so frustrated with people that complain about the most seemingly insignificant things. I hope over time I will become less jaded and more understanding, but for now come on people, really.

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited July 2013

    We need to create a library of killer phrases for times like this - such as yeah it was a pretty bad day when I was told I need to have my breasts cut off......but its not as bad as a problematic fridge of course......!!

    They get my goat too....

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited July 2013

    I should say this:



    "You get mad while sitting at stop lights? I'm so sorry. You should fix that. Me? I'm worried about my impending cancer death. But, yeah, you're right. I need to obsess about fixing every little aspect of my personality instead."

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  • SweetheartinTX
    SweetheartinTX Member Posts: 58
    edited July 2013

    LOL. Yeah my life has DEFINITELY slooooowwwwed way down since i found out i had cancer. I no longer get in a hurry. Because i am like why? what's the point? My perspective on life period has completely changed. Not that age matters when you are told you have cancer but i am only 27 with 2 young girls that i would love to watch grow up. So i am enjoying every moment now. 

    Thank you ladies for understanding. I think i am getting better at just letting stuff like that roll off my back. One day though, my tongue may get the better of me.

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