Starting Chemo April 2009

Judy, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I totally empathize. Those of us with BRCA mutations have a greater risk of getting bc over and over again. My doctor recommended the FORCE website to me as well and I used to use it a lot. As well, we do have support groups in Canada and I have gone a couple of times. It stands for Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Judy, I'm so sorry that your sister has breast cancer again.  The email that I sent out to all my family and friends when I had the recurrence was titled, "Here we go again," too.  I sent it out, then was in attack mode-getting all my appointments, getting the kids ready for school, etc.  Then I went into a depressive, hermit stage for a good 2 weeks before I could emerge and process everything.  I think the hardest was realizing I had to do chemo again.  You sister is going to get through this again.  She will!!!!!

Amy--you are making me laugh with all your anticipation.  I remember with my firstborn (first grandchild on both sides), I wanted the baby to wait until the due date and all the grandparents were eager as heck once I hit 38 weeks.

Hi all, hope you are doing ok. I feel like I am always bringing sad news here, but my friend from the US who was sick the same time as me, who became sick again, passed away yesterday. I cannot fathom, I cannot make any sense of what is going on around me anymore...When I received the call, I thought my heart would break. I fell apart on the spot, my kids panicked and thought it was news of my sister. I feel like this is too much for me to deal with at the moment; I know that I am the lucky one, but I am having trouble finding the strength to process and deal with all this news.

I am working today and trying to keep my mind busy, but really struggling...

I don't want to bring you all down, so will sign off now, just wanted to update you all.

We need some good news here and fast !

Big hugs to everyone today and hope you are all ok, Judy x

Judy - I hope you will not take offense at this but when I read this sentence you wrote: I feel like this is too much for me to deal with at the moment; I know that I am the lucky one, but I am having trouble finding the strength to process and deal with all this news - it really makes me think that perhaps you do need someone professional to help you through. I know no one can take this away, but there are coping strategies that might make it more manageable. These blows are a lot to bear, and you have to keep going, as your family needs you (and that is never ending) so maybe having a safe place to let this stuff out and work through some of it would be helpful.  Especially now.

I remember the cancer psychologist I saw during (and after) chemo. She was SO skilled in dealing with people living in this cancer nightmare. It was hugely helpful to have someone that was so understanding and actually had things to offer to help cope. It is comforting to me to know that she is there, should the need arise for me to see her. I don't know what the medical and health insurance situation is like in Israel but perhaps that type of resource is available. 

I only write this with love. I hope you will at least consider it. I hate to see you in pain.

Big announcement here in Toronto yesterday. Dr. Tak Mak at Princess Margaret Hospital (one of the biggest cancer centres in North America) and a doctor from UCLA (the guy who discovered Herceptin) have developed a new drug that they call a "sharpshooter" that is showing tremendous promise against breast, ovarian, pancreatic and colorectal cancer. It destroys tumours without damaging healthy tissue. Clinical trials will begin this fall. They have been working in this for 10 years and the funds came from our "weekend to end women's cancers" which is a 2 day walk that has raised many, many, many millions of dollars. No Susan Komen stuff here. All the money has gone directly to the hospital. Dr. Mak always comes to the events and talks to the participants. His wife died of breast cancer so this is personal for him. Nice to know there might be some hope out there.

BABY is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  A GIRL (which they both wanted very badly but were afraid to hope too much)  So new, not even weighed yet. But it all went fairly quickly, and all natural at the birth center where they were planning to give birth.

I will go up tonight (I think, I will wait to be invited) and meet my new granddaughter.

Name: Ruby

The only comment I heard that my daughter made was "I had no idea how hard this would be."  And to that, I just laughed! How can you tell someone ahead of time? 

But it's all behind her now and everything seems wonderful.

And I am SO GLAD I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT HORRIBLE TREATMENT so that I could be here all healthy to see this day.

Love to all 

Amy

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AMY!!!!!!! WONDERFUL NEWS!!! You have made my day! What a beautiful name and so happy that your daughter is doing ok. I am so emotional writing this post...Ruby has brought a ray of sunshine into my week, thank you! Now, enjoy your new extended family and we look forward to hearing all about her progress !

Geri, thank you for your kind words; glad the plans are coming along, time does fly.

Helen, thanks, I am ok, up and down. Still very sad and can't quite believe it. But your post gave me hope, wouldn't it be great if they could finally put an end to this disease and the effect it has on the patients and their families.

I am going to look into getting myself some help, I think that I need it right now.

Sending you all hugs, Judy x

Met the baby today. SO tiny and sweet. My daughter looks amazing. She has been difficult the past decade, but this pregnancy has changed her so much. She was wonderful, warm, affectionate, appreciative throughout, and was even moreso today. I could not be more thrilled.

Working on getting a link to a picture. Let me know if this works. if it's not clickable, you can copy/paste into new window. I think it SHOULD work.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/1119_10151435102232791_1212476480_n.jpg

Amy, what a great photo! Just beautiful, thanks so much for posting it. Enjoy every minute.

Helen, thank you, I know I am not alone. Hope you are doing ok.

Florbo, sounds like you have alot going on. Praying with you that all is ok at the ultrasound on Monday, please let us know how it goes. Sending hugs to you.

Love the "Shirt of cooperation idea", very creative, glad to hear it has been working !

My sister's plastic surgeon appt has been moved to Monday and she will also meet her team on Monday night then we should have a bit more clarity of what is happening over the next few months.

It has been a difficult couple of weeks, but I did end it last night on a high note. I saw Barbara Streisand play live in Israel and it was fabulous. I know that not everyone likes her, but I am a big fan and the whole evening was spectacular! I am so pleased that I went, it was just great!

Wishing you all a great weekend and sending hugs as always, Judy x

Judy - how are you feeling? Are you taking any steps to get some support in this difficult time?  The Streisand concert sounds wonderful. It doesn't matter if ANYBODY else likes her or not, but that YOU do and you got to see her. In all the struggles we go through, those special moments mean so much. I am glad you had that experience.

I spent almost all day yesterday up in Philly with the baby. I did laundry, dishes, generally helped around the house and got to be Grandma. It was really nice. Little Ruby is doing great, my daughter is figuring out the whole nursing thing, and it was lovely to get to share in it.  I will go up again Thurs into Fri to help, as that is her husband's first time back at work.  The baby is so tiny and fragile. A friend of theirs came over with her 2 year old - that's a lot more sturdy of a person, than a 5 day old. But I did fine holding her and changing her diaper. I guess it's like riding a bicycle, you never really forget!

Has been quiet here for a couple of days...hope everyone is doing ok.

My sister has her first procedure today and then the big surgery next week. I am at work trying to focus on the piles I need to get through and staying in touch with her and my BIL by sms.

Sending you all hugs, Judy x

Thanks Helen; well, yesterday my sister had her sentinal node removed and thankfully, it was all clear; so now she has been scanned/checked all over and there seems to have been no spread, which is a relief. Now, she has to prepare for the big surgery next Thursday. I will keep you posted and thank you all for being here.

Helen, how are you doing? Florbo, I am getting worried about you, we haven't heard from you since Monday. If you can, please come by. Amy, how is Ruby? Are you back with your daughter over the weekend? Geri, hope all is well. Betsy, Chelev, Titan and anyone I may have left out, sending you all big hugs and hope you have a good weekend.

We are spending the weekend with friends; I am tired but looking forward. I will be glad of the company I think.

I will come by again soon, hugs, Judy x

Hi all, hope you are having a good weekend. We spent the weekend away with friends and had a good time! It was nice to be in company, eat good food and drink good wine .

Geri, hope you continue to enjoy the lead up to the wedding, I am sure there will be stressful moments, but it will all be wonderful.

So, in my family, there seemed to be a bit of a misunderstanding along the way; when I spoke to my BIL this morning, he said that they do not yet have the results for the sentinal node. We should hear in a day or so, still hoping that it is all clear, just a small step back, but hopefully not for long...My sister seems ok, quite agitated. She has alot of appts this week, including one with a psychotherapist to talk to her about the implications of her surgery. I think it is so good that she is going to have that session. The emotions following a mastectomy are not easy ones to deal with...And that is without all the other emotions that come with a BC diagnosis.

Florbo, please come by if you can.

Hope everyone is doing ok, sending you all big hugs, Judy xxx

Betsy, good to hear from you and thank you for your kind words.

I was sorry to read about your MIL, so sad. I know that she is in a safer place, but it is always difficult for the people around her to see. Sending hugs to you and the family.

I remember that ice cream also helped with the heartburn, (and I am not a fan of ice cream...). Acupuncture also helped balance my digestive system.

Hope everyone is doing ok today, hugs to you all, Judy x

Florbo, wow! That is quite a week you had there. Sounds exhausting. But so pleased to read that the lump was nothing sinister. Sorry to hear that your friend is having a hard time, she is lucky to have you to help her out.

Just so happy that you are ok and just tired at the end of the day.

Sending hugs to all, Judy x